Category: Blog Posts

When parents see their children struggling in life because they can’t concentrate, find it hard to sit still, and impulsively say and do things that interfere with their ability to form lasting friendships and do well in school, they desperately want to find a solution to the problem. Many children are put on stimulants such as methylphenidate (Ritalin), dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine or Dextrostat), and pemoline (Cylert), which can dramatically reduce the hyperactivity and improve their ability to focus, work, and learn.

However, do you want to settle for controlling ADD/ADHD symptoms, when it’s possible to create life-long improvements? There is a more effective treatment…

People with ADD see immediate improvement with medication and think that’s good enough. But these medicines won’t cure the disorder. They only temporarily control the symptoms. Although drugs help people pay attention and complete their work, they can’t increase knowledge or improve academic skills. Drugs alone won’t help people improve their self-esteem or cope with problems. The most significant, long-lasting improvements are made when medication is combined with behavioral therapy, emotional counseling, and practical support. Yet according to a September 2014 PsychCentral article, “Just one in four kids get drugs plus psychotherapy.”

Are concerns about how to pay for mental health treatment holding you back from getting help? Then you need to know that a 2008 law, the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act (also known as the mental health parity law), requires insurance coverage of services for mental health, behavioral health and substance-use disorders to be comparable to physical health coverage. Read more about the parity law here.

If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA and your child with ADD/ADHD is not doing as well as he or she could be or you personally are struggling with your ADD/ADHD, please contact my office and schedule an appointment so we can get started on a program to help.

Read more on my website: ADD & ADHD.

You know your child better than anyone else. You know the problems aren’t because your child is a bad kid and it’s not because you’re a bad parent. Just as a child with a broken bone needs special care, so a child with an interrupted brain balance needs special attention. And things can change for the better!

When a parent takes some time to prepare for the parent/teacher conference or schedules a private meeting with the teacher, you can respectfully show that you want to be involved and supportive. Some questions you can discuss are:

1. What skills (math, reading, etc) should my child learn this year?
2. What are my child’s weaknesses and strengths?
3. How is my child’s class behavior?
4. How is my child doing socially?
5. How is my child doing emotionally?
6. In what areas do you see need for improvement?
7. Do you feel my child is doing his/her best?
8. What type of learner is my child – visual, auditory, or kinesthetic?
9. How can we best accommodate my child’s learning style?
10. Is my child performing at Grade Level?
11. Does my child need extra help in any areas?
12. How much time should my child spend on homework?
13. How can I help?
14. If your child is having a problem, initiate a conversation about it by asking: “May I share a concern?”
15. What would you advise?

What more can you do? The first step to really improving life for those with ADD and ADHD is to build your child’s self-esteem. They don’t have many experiences that build their self-esteem and competence. And it’s not easy coping with the frustrations day after day. They may fear that they’re strange, abnormal, or stupid. Some children release their frustration by acting contrary, starting fights, or destroying property. Some turn the frustration into body ailments, like the child who gets a stomachache everyday before school. Others hold their needs and fears inside, so that no one sees how badly they feel.

Over time a trained therapist

can help children with ADD or ADHD identify and build on their strengths, cope with daily problems, and learn to control their attention and aggression. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA, please

contact my office and schedule an appointment. Holiday breaks are a great time to fit it into your busy schedule.

New research suggests that increased risk of autism after medication use during pregnancy may actually be reflecting the increased risk associated with severe maternal depression instead. According to SFARI (Simons Foundation Autism Research Initiative), “Women who have a history of bipolar disorder or depression are more likely to have a child with Asperger syndrome than classic autism.” They base this statement on a study published in the 2012 issue of Autism Research and Treatment.

PsychCentral reports on a study conducted by Massachusetts General Hospital researchers, which discovered, “While a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder was more common in the children of mothers prescribed antidepressants during pregnancy than in those with no prenatal exposure, when the severity of the mother’s depression was accounted for, that increased risk was no longer statistically significant.”  They did, however, discover an increased risk for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). And antipsychotic drugs sometimes used to treat severe, treatment-resistant depression appeared to increase the risk for autism.


The senior author of the report, Roy Perlis, M.D., M.Sc., M.G.H., made this comment, “Untreated depression can pose serious health risks to both a mother and child, so it’s important that women being treated with antidepressants who become pregnant, or who are thinking about becoming pregnant, know that these medications will not increase their child’s risk of autism.”

Depression is not something you want to ignore because you’re afraid of what medication will do to you or your unborn child. There are a variety of depression treatment options available, with medication and without medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and a holistic health approach are beneficial in helping anxious or depressed people lower medication requirements. Please discuss these options with your doctor. You don’t need to stay in the darkness. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and set up an appointment so we can discuss the best treatment for you.

Wondering if you or someone you love has depression? Take the online PsychCentral Depression Quiz. If depression is indicated, please contact your physician or a mental health professional immediately.

Read more on my website: Overcoming Depression.

A recent New York Times contributor, Heather Havrilesky, poured out her feelings about the mixed messages that are putting immense pressure on moms to be supermoms, while at the same time receiving degrading messages like, “Oh, you’re just a mom”. She talks about losing her own identity, which I’m sure many moms out there can relate to.

Even though my daughters are both grown up now, I remember the stress involved in trying to do it all. Do you sometimes find yourself wondering…

• When did the role of motherhood get so out of balance?
• How did it become the norm that life revolves around everything your child wants rather than the child learning to fit into the family?
• How is it you become a bad mom if you don’t keep running from the moment you wake up until you fall exhaustedly into bed at night?
• How are you supposed to smile happily through it all?

On top of that, you’re burdened with an immense sense of guilt every time you take some ‘me time’ for yourself…” This striving for a false perfection sets you up for the frustration of never being able to measure up.

Moms, especially working moms, are people too, not superheroes. You’re going to make little mistakes, even big blunders. The key is to recognize the mistake, accept it, and learn from it. As a psychologist please let me assure you that children are remarkably resilient. If you err, stop it, change it, apologize for it. You will be modeling flexibility and honesty for your child – two important values for them to have.

It’s important to remember that your child is a unique and a separate person from you. He or she isn’t an extension of the parent, but is as different and distinct as their fingerprints. If you take the time to be curious about who your child is, how they think, who they’re becoming, you’ll have the opportunity to make a lifelong friend.

Occasionally, when a problem arises that is beyond your understanding, it’s appropriate to seek the expertise of a family therapist. Sometimes personal problems or relationship problems interfere with productive family life. It is important to recognize these problems, seek professional help and restore family life to a healthy, happy balance. If you like in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Want to create a better work/home balance? If you’re an entrepreneur please check out my book – Entrepreneurial Couples – Making it Work at Work and Home.

Read more on my website: Women Entrepreneurs, Resources for Copreneurs and Am I a Good Parent?

Psychiatrist, Richard A. Gardner coined the phrase, “Parental Alienation Syndrome” to identify this behavior. He describes it as…

“A disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent.”

How and why does Parental Alienation Syndrome happen?

Many attorneys and marriage counselors suspect that high conflict divorces involve at least one partner with ASD (or another type of empathy disorder). This is because of the Empathy Disorder. Lack of empathy, unregulated emotions and a desire to control the outcome can lead to alienating the children, without regard for the serious damage the children suffer.

What are some alienation techniques that are used? The magazine Psychology Today lists the following behaviors:

• “Bad-mouthing the other parent, 
• Limiting contact with that parent, 
• Erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent), 
• Forcing the child to reject the other parent, 
• Creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, 
• Forcing the child to choose between the parents by means of threats of withdrawal of affection, and 
• Belittling and limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent.”

But what if your children WANT to do something that you KNOW will harm them? Do you give in and let them decide to do it? What if it’s an activity that is viewed by many as “harmless fun” or touted as “building character”? Specifically I’m thinking about football…

Is Football Safe for Children?

Recently I watched a heart wrenching YouTube video that I think all parents should watch. The handsome, grinning face of twenty-one year old Owen Thomas is followed by a photo of his tombstone. He looked so happy being a hard-hitting lineman from 9 years old and onward. Yet, out of the blue, he committed suicide.

Concussion is a leading cause of CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) in football players, which in turn has caused some players to commit suicide. Surprisingly, Owen had never experienced a concussion during all his years of playing football, so there seemed to be no explanation for his death.

It was shocking to discover that when Dr. Ann McKee, neuropathologist at BU CTE Center, examined his brain, he had advanced CTE! She concluded that the CTE had resulted from sub-concussive hits he’d experienced throughout the years of playing the game. Just from playing the game.

When you sign your child up for a sport, you know there’s a physical risk. They can sprain an ankle or even break a bone. Are you prepared to deal with the brain damage that results from playing football? I urge every parent to do the research and weigh the risks. Dr. Robert Cantu, Neurosurgeon at Boston University said, “No one under 14 should play football. The youth brain is lighter in weight, so it takes less to put it in motion. You tap a youth brain and it moves much quicker than an adult brain.”

While Dr McKee would not make a blanket proclamation for all, when asked if she had a child who was 8, 10 or 12, would she allow that child to play football, she emphatically said, “I would not, because of the way football is being played currently. It’s dangerous and it could impact their long-term mental health. You only get one brain. And you want your kids to succeed in life and be everything they can be. If there’s anything that would infringe on that, I wouldn’t do it.”

Watch the Frontline YouTube Video: Is Football Safe for Children?

Read on my website: Depression – How To Recognize The Symptoms.