Category: Blog Posts

In the past few
years, a lot of attention was given to the physical side effects that second
hand smoke (SHS) can have on a non-smoking individual. Heart disease, stroke,
lung cancer, and asthma have been linked to SHS. Now
attention is turning to the psychological effects of SHS.

According to new studies, SHS has been linked to psychological disorders as
well as greater risk for psychiatric hospitalization in non-smokers. For a
complete look at these studies, read the article Secondhand Smoke Linked to
Psychiatric Illness, Hospitalization. The article mentioned that with
increased smoking restrictions in public places, smoking is happening more
often in the home environment. Studies also estimate that 60% of Americans are
being exposed to SHS.

Now with the addition of psychological problems to already known physical
problems, SHS is a serious problem! If you are a non-smoker, but have been
exposed to SHS and are experiencing psychological problems such as anxiety or
depression, I recommend seeing a mental health care professional. If you are
currently a smoker, your life is in danger as well. Please visit the Stop
Smoking section on my website for tips to overcome your addiction to
cigarettes.

It’s been estimated that 40-80% of children who are diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) will have problems sleeping. This is a major concern as it can contribute to behavioral problems during the day. When your child isn’t sleeping well, he or she is more likely to be hyperactive, irritable, and aggressive. This puts the physical and emotional well-being of the child at risk.

If your child is not sleeping, then it means that you are not sleeping either – which is going to impact how you are dealing with your child’s behavior. If this situation sounds familiar, here are a few things you can do to try to help your child get a good night’s rest:

1. Keep a sleep diary. By keeping a daily record of the day and night, it might help you to discern if there are things that are causing a night of poor sleep.

2. Foods that are a stimulate – like sugar and caffeine – should be avoided before bedtime.

3. Entertainment that can be stimulating should also be avoided. Instead of television or computer time, try something soothing and relaxing like reading a story or a light massage. Also keep the house quiet.

4. Start a bedtime routine and stick to it.

5. If problems persist, see your child’s doctor.

A good night’s sleep is very valuable. You and your child deserve it. It may be a struggle to get it under control, but be patient. For more information, I recommend The National Autistic Society – Sleep and Autism – Helping Your Child.

Parenting a child with ASD, especially when your parenting with an ASD spouse, is no easy task. My new book “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of Mind” addresses these issues. A free sample chapter is now available for download. Click here for more information.

I
have written a lot about what it’s like being married to someone with Asperger
Syndrome –  the many challenges you face daily. Now imagine what it’s like
having a parent with Asperger Syndrome. This scenario is real and affects many
children. So this leads us to wonder, what is life like for these children?

It is only realistic to expect that living with an Asperger parent will be a
challenge. Many adults who were raised with an Aspie parent are now reporting
severe depression and self-esteem problems because they lived with a parent who
struggled to nurture them and get to know them. With a lack of warmth, tender
affection, and communication, a child can feel emotionally rejected by their
parent even though they may have all of their physical needs taken care of.

This is not to say that an Aspie parent does not love their child. That is far
from the truth. But the communication and relationship deficits confuse the
child and can lead to the child feeling unloved. Remember it is the child’s
experience that defines the parenting, not whether the AS parent loves their
child.

I am writing a new book entitled,  “Parenting
with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of
Mind.” It addresses the unique issues that come up when
you’re co-parenting with an Aspie partner. Click
here to download a free sample chapter.

If you have a child who has an Aspie parent, I highly recommend seeking
professional help from a mental health care specialist. For more information on
Asperger Syndrome, visit Asperger
Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions on my website.

Children
and stress are two words that many never imagine go together, but unfortunately
they do – especially now. According to a 2009 survey performed by American Psychological Association (APA), young ones between the ages of 8-17 years of
age are dealing with stress. The sad thing is that this stress is often not
being recognized by the parents.

One cause of stress is the family’s financial situation. Parents, you may not
realize it, but a child’s eyes and ears are always open. They do hear about
what is happening in the economy and they can easily recognize that it is
stressing you out. They in turn bottle it up and begin to worry themselves.

The effect of stress on a young person can be evident by increasing headaches,
difficulty sleeping, and change in appetite. Parents, I encourage you to be
alert to these signs in your children. It is vital that if they are dealing
with stress that they get proper help to cope. A mental health care professional
will be able to assist you and your child deal with these issues. It’s also
important to spend good quality time together as a family. Make the home a
place of safety and security for your children and keep the lines of
communication open.

Visit Managing
Stress on my website for additional information.

Summer is just around the corner. Have you planned your family’s vacation yet?
Maybe you think you’re too busy. One solution is to take a look at ways to
integrate your business trip with the family vacation.

It is important to raise children who have a sense of belonging to a family
with parents who are professionals. The children see the work as part of who
their parents are … and they are part of it too. Integrating a
family/business vacation is much easier now with the help of hotels and resorts
who cater to business travelers who wish to bring their children with them.
While Mom and Dad are at their business meetings, or downloading their e-mail,
the children are able to participate in events sponsored and supervised by
hotel staff.

However, there is a potential problem. Workaholics may never learn how to leave
work. Combining work and play as I have described above is one alternative, but
another is to plan vacations without work in mind at all. Pure family fun is
vital for recharging the entire family.

As a family who also happens to be in business together, you have the
sophisticated task of integrating the needs of family and the needs of
business. If your spouse and your children feel a part of your work, they are
in a better position to help with business growth, even if only as interested
stakeholders. And if you are willing to take time from your busy schedule to
play with your children and family, even at a business conference or trade
show, you are sending a very important message. That is, no matter how
important the business, no matter how you wish the business to succeed, what’s
the point if you cannot share your successes with the ones you love?

Asperger Syndrome: Partner’s & Family of Adults with ASD Support Group
has been growing by leaps and bounds. Our meetings and Meetup
page has become a place of comfort and support for those who have loved
ones with ASD. So many times the focus is put on the one with ASD and with no
support for their family, but that is now changing.

I recently received an post from a new member who joined to support her friend
who is married to someone with ASD. Here is what she said, “Thank you
for your welcome. I was happy to find this group as I was very much helped by
your book, which I’ve passed on to my friends. They found it tremendously
helpful. I am glad to find any discussion on these issues as those outside the
situation find it pretty nigh impossible to understand the pain involved. I’m
not married to an AS but my friend is.“

The support group is not limited to those with family/partners of ASD, but also
those who are friends to Neuro-typicals with Asperger partners. Many times the
NT’s feels like no one understands the pain that they are experiencing. This
new member set a wonderful example of a supportive friend. I encourage anyone
else in this situation to please join our support group meetings or Meetup
page if you live outside of the Portland/Vancouver area.

My book Life
with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge is
available for purchase on my website or feel free to download
the first chapter for free. This is also an excellent resource for friends
to read to gain a greater appreciation for what their friends may be experiencing. Thank you to all of you who are
taking the lead to help spread the word about Asperger Syndrome.