Category: Blog Posts

Do you wish there was a way to uplift your mood at the touch of a button? Well, there’s an App called Happify that is designed to do just that. Have you heard about it? It’s designed by neuroscientists and psychologists like John Gottman. They claim it retrains the brain to shut off negative thoughts and reduce stress.

According to their website, “Happify has turned a decade’s worth of research into a series of activities and games that train your brain and build skills for lasting happiness. The program is designed to train people to disrupt patterns of negative thinking, manage stress and build skills to overcome life challenges.” Co-Founder & President of Happify, Ofer Leidner, got his idea from the book “Flourish” by Martin Seligman.

Once you start, you’ll answer a few thought-provoking questions about things such as your gender, age, work and relationship status, children, creativity, boredom, resiliency, and how comfortable you are with sharing your feelings. Then you sign up through your Facebook account or you can create an account with your email address. Then it reveals the recommended tracks you can follow based on the answers you provided. Leading experts in the science of happiness helped them create these specialized tracks.

If you try it, come over to my Facebook page and let me know what you think of it. I’d really like to know if it works for you.

Read more on my website: Article on Happiness.

The man on the other end of the line was speaking softly, so I had to listen carefully. “I don’t know if you can help me,” he said. “My wife and I are having problems. She doesn’t even know I’m calling you, and I’m not sure she will even agree to see you.” I reassured him that I was willing to help even if his wife was a little reluctant to seek consultation. “But I am not even sure you can help,” he said, “because our situation is kind of unique.”

“How’s that?” I inquired. “Let me know what your special concerns are, and together we will decide if it is something I can help you with.”

The man paused, composing his thoughts so that he could succinctly describe his “unique” situation to me. “Well, it’s just that we work together and it is causing a lot of problems. I really love my wife, but employees are complaining about her to me and that puts me in the middle. And at home, things are pretty tense too. She doesn’t seem happy with me at all. I think maybe there’s a kind of competition thing going on. So you see, this is kind of an unusual situation, and I am not sure you know much about this sort of thing, or if anyone does.”

More often than not, this is how my first conversation with a member of an entrepreneurial couple goes. One spouse or the other calls, with trepidation about whether anyone can help. The isolation of entrepreneurial couple life has led them to believe that their situation is unique, when in fact, entrepreneurial couples are quite common.

In addition, the assumption that the other spouse is reluctant to seek consultation is also common. This assumption, however, is often incorrect. Entrepreneurs are usually so busy working and not communicating intimately with their business partner/spouse, that they don’t realize that he or she is just as concerned about their problems as is the caller.

Making the phone call to me was a first step toward self-awareness for that entrepreneurial husband. Realizing that you are not alone is a powerful thing. Knowing that others have gone before you somehow makes it easier to explore the challenging territory of couple entrepreneurship.

In my book, Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home, I have a series of in-depth exercises to help entrepreneurial couples examine all areas of their work and home life including money, health and parenting. Self-awareness is too important to be left to moments of crisis. Since change is inevitable and nothing lasts forever, people who seek out change and opportunities for purposeful growth will be one step ahead of others.

And remember, even the most serious heartache you have ever faced—be it an extramarital affair, financial loss, drug addiction, physical disease, or divorce—can provide an opportunity for growth and add to your wisdom. Those of you brave enough to really look at the serious dysfunction in your lives can still develop a meaningful entrepreneurial life with your spouse and family. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment or consider remote consultation if you live out of the area.

It’s only natural for your child to feel anxious about the new school year. And if your children have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), AS (Asperger’s Syndrome), or ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) they need extra help to transition into the new routine. Yes, it might be tempting to put off back-to-school preparations, however the more you prepare your child the easier it will be on you, your child and the teachers. Here are a few reminders to make this process easier…Be Positive
You can help ease their worries by always speaking positively about returning to school. Get them excited about that they’re going to learn. Help them remember what they enjoyed from previous years.

Make Appointments Early
Does your child need to see his doctor, dentist, or optometrist? How about teachers and administrators you need to talk with before school starts? It relieves a lot of stress to get these appointments taken care of well before the school year starts.

Get into the School Routine
Routine is so important for children with ASD and ADD. A month before school starts, review class materials that your child likes for a scheduled time each day, gradually increasing the time and adding more difficult materials so your child transitions from the carefree summer to the classroom structure. Also gradually shift wake up time and bedtime to match what your child needs to function well at school.

Involve Your Child in Back-to-School Preparation
Let them go school shopping with you so they can pick out things they like. Work together as you assemble their backpacks. Talk about what they’d like to eat for lunch and snacks. And the night before school starts, help them lay out the clothes they want to wear.

Visit the School
Introduce your child to as many people as possible – the teacher, principal, office staff, school nurse, teacher assistants, custodians. Alert them to your child’s special needs and how they can assist you.

I really recommend that you put together a packet about your child for the teacher.  Make sure to include your teacher in the Behavioral Plan for your child.

For additional back to school and safety tips, visit the American Academy of Pediatrics – Back To School Tips. My website also has information about Parenting a Child with ADD.

Up until now the diagnosis of brain disorders could be confused because Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injury share common symptoms such as insomnia, irritability, and anxiety. Happily, I’ve just received a notification from Dr. Daniel Amen that their studies now confirm that brain scans detect the differences between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injury. That is exciting news!

This means that the 7 million+ PTSD sufferers and 2 million brain injury sufferers every year in the U.S. will receive better diagnosis and treatment.

How do researchers distinguish between the two brain disorders?

They use SPECT Imaging (single photon emission computed tomography) to measure blood flow and activity in 128 different brain regions. As Dr. Amen describes it, “SPECT can tell TBI and PTSD apart because these disorders affect the brain in different ways. TBI involves damage to the brain from direct blows or blast injuries, leading to reduced brain activity and blood flow. PTSD involves hyperactive reactions to different stimuli leading to brain scan patterns where blood flow is abnormally higher compared to TBI or normal health.”

Can brain damage from PTSD and TBI be reversed? Improvements can be made. The use of therapy, medicines, whole foods, vitamins and supplements can heal the brain. This is the type of holistic health regimen that I often use with clients. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment to get your life back.

Learn more about holistic healing on my website – Mind and Body: Holistic Health and Psychotherapy Options.

 How can you protect yourself when you’re dating online?

First, watch out for scammers. Unfortunately many older singles in their 50’s and 60’s are being scammed out of their life’s savings! The New York Times reported recently, “Between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2014, nearly 6,000 people registered complaints of such confidence fraud with losses of $82.3 million.” The real number is much larger because many are too embarrassed to admit it happened to them, which allows the criminals to perpetrate their scam on someone else.

What are some warning signs to watch out for when dating online? The F.B.I. gives the following alerts:

“1. Be cautious of people who claim that the romance is destiny or fate and that you are meant to be together.

2. Beware if a person tells you they love you and cannot live without you, but they need you to send them money so they can visit you. And if you do not send them money or help them, they will claim you do not love them.

3. Swindlers typically claim they are originally from the United States (or your region) but now are overseas, or are going overseas, attending to business or family matters.”

The AARP network recommends that you use Google’s “search by image” to see if the suitor’s picture appears on other sites with different names. Also, if an email from a potential suitor seems suspicious they recommend that you copy and paste it into Google and see if the words pop up on any romance scam sites.

What about protecting your heart when you’re dating online? I often advise singles to make a list of the qualities you’re looking for in a prospective partner. Be as picky as you want. If he or she is to fit nicely into your life, then you need to be specific. Don’t compromise. List everything your heart desires from physical appearance, to political beliefs, to leisure interests, to favorite foods. It’s all important. In fact, it’s often the small details that make or break a relationship so put them all on your list, big and small.

After you make your list, ask yourself if this list is a good match for you. Remember opposites attract, but the best partners are much like ourselves. If your list describes your opposite, you might want to rework it.

If you are recently divorced or widowed, it can be scary thinking about dating again. But you don’t have to be alone. There are safe ways to find romance by getting support from a psychologist who specializes in relationship development. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment so we can explore your options.

Read more on my website: Advise for Singles.