Category: Blog Posts

Hasn’t summer flown by? Have you been able to make some down time to enjoy it? I was able to get out of the office for a couple of weeks and it made me feel recharged and invigorated to get going again.

Even if you can’t take weeks off or get out of town, what are some simple ways to reinvigorate yourself?

Disconnect from technology.
Even if you have to check in now and then, don’t start your morning by checking emails. That can ruin your day. And rather than spending time surfing the net, watching TV, or texting, it’s so much healthier for us physically and mentally to get outside into the fresh air and sunshine and enjoy the company of friends and family in person.

Disconnect from work.
You may not be going to the office today, but is your mind worrying about a business matter? We all need to take a complete break from our work routine so we can refresh ourselves.

Connect with what makes you feel good.
Have you fallen into a rut of routines and habits? Are they making you feel good about yourself and your life? Maybe you work at home and it’s tempting to spend all day in your PJ’s and just grab whatever food is handy. I guarantee you’ll feel and act more confidently if you honor yourself by eating a nourishing meal and wearing your best clothes.

Connect with people you admire and love.
How long has it been since you’ve had a really in depth conversation with a loved one? When we have these real conversations they refresh us and help us to grow.

Connect with what makes you joyful.
When was the last time you gave yourself the gift of doing what bring you joy, like singing, dancing, hiking, or a hobby? We all need to pay attention to what makes us feel vibrantly alive.

If you’re not living the life that you want, and you don’t know how to break out of whatever is holding you back, talking with a mental health professional may be exactly what you need. Just as we need yearly physicals to remaining optimally healthy, regular mental checkups are helpful too. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Read more on my website: Mind and Body Health.

Your marriage contract is more than a marriage license. It’s a group of assumptions that you made about marriage and your partner and yourself. The assumptions you first made at age 22 may not fit at 42. No doubt the assumptions that guided you through those first years altered as you had children, then altered again as the children entered college or when you started a business or changed your profession and so on. Did you think to sit down and analyze what you wanted or what was best given each new set of circumstances? Did you discuss it together as a couple? Sadly most couples do not, which causes many couples to drift apart.

How can you renew your commitment to each other through a renegotiated marriage contract?

• Schedule a weekend away so you can relax and discuss this.
• Each should privately identify what he or she now wants from the marriage – write it down on a piece of paper.
• Be flexible with yourself and your partner as circumstances change.
• Let go of old ways that are no longer appropriate.
• Keep your basic values in tact.
• Identify goals that are in the best interests of your marriage and individually.
• Discuss with your partner how to divide family responsibilities equitably.
• Overcome the inevitable fears.

I often hear people say, “I’m not going to change; you knew who I was when you married me; you better be happy with that!” Things do change and people move on. All of us change daily and it’s doubtful that you’re the same person you were twenty years ago. And neither is your spouse. Complaints about change are coming from a place of fear…fear of change and fear of the unknown. Change is inevitable. It will either overtake you or you can plan a little and guide the change process. It’s your choice.

Evaluate your situation now. Is it time to talk with your spouse and make some changes before they erupt into irreconcilable differences? Have you lost your sense of identity over time? Have conflicts already eruped? Many couples have found that they can more easily and calmly open this conversation when an impartial family counselor is involved. If you live near Portland, Oregon, please contact my office and set up an appointment. I would be delighted to help you reconnect with your lifelong partner and make the next stage of your life more fulfilling.

If you’re in business together make sure to download my free Checklist for Entrepreneurial Couples. Click on the image below…

One of the best ways to learn is by watching what other people do to succeed. While your individual situation may differ, you can watch other family businesses and glean valuable insights into how they make a success of it.

I found a nice resource in the six videos in a recent New York Times article that highlight the ups and downs of family businesses. I enjoyed the videos stories that small business writer, Stacy Cowley, collected. Through these real life stories she gleaned six important lessons that every entrepreneurial family can learn from…

A great support team is vital to the leader’s success. Watch a story about a bow tie business started by a nine-year-old boy, and how his mom and extended family members support him.

Don’t wait to the last minute to train the next generation, rather integrate a succession plan gradually so everyone feels comfortable in their new role. Watch a story about how a fifth-generation brewery owner helped his four daughters fit into the business.

You don’t need to know everything before you start your business. Watch the story of an immigrant who saw an opportunity, seized it, and has grown it into a family business.

Because of the family connection, family members often work harder to make your business succeed. Watch two brothers who fought as children grow into a close-knit business venture.

Families should consider what’s in the long-term best interest for the business. Watch the story of how loyal customers and employees brought a man back to his CEO position even when it was a cousin who ousted him.

Entrepreneurial families should enjoy the business and have fun. Watch the story of a woodworking craftsman as he shares his passion and business philosophy with his son.

Click here to access the videos.

Are you thinking of starting a family business and want to get it off on the right foot? Or do you see areas that could use improvement before real problems break out? Consulting a business coach has helped many to open up a dialog among the family members that creates a better work environment. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment. If you live elsewhere, please take advantage of my Remote Education for Entrepreneurial Couples and Families. Learn more by clicking here.

Yes! And this can cause a real problem when the very young are being diagnosed. A doctor may stop looking when he or she sees ADHD symptoms and then they miss that the child is also suffering from Autism Spectrum Disorder. Dr. Amir Miodovnik, a developmental pediatrician at Boston Children’s Hospital authored a recent study, which shows that symptoms of ADHD may, in fact, conceal ASD in very young children.

Why is this significant? Because a delayed diagnosis of autism delays vital treatment. Dr. Miodovnik found, “It took an average of three years longer to diagnose autism in children initially thought to have just ADHD. It’s been shown the earlier that you implement these therapies for autism, the better children do in terms of outcome.” He found that some cases the ASD diagnosis didn’t occur until six or more years later. (Look for more information on this study in the October print issue of Pediatrics.)

ASD and ADHD are different neurological disorders, however they do have some symptoms in common. What similar symptoms do Autism and ADHD have?

• Hyperactivity
• Impulsivity
• Inattentive
• Social awkwardness
• Difficulty in interactions with others

What are some differences between ADHD and ASD?

Asperger’s Syndrome

• All-absorbing interest in specialized topics, like sports statistics or dinosaurs
• Lack of nonverbal communication – eye contact, facial expressions, body gestures
• Lack of empathy or understanding others’ feelings
• Monotone pitch or lack of rhythm when speaking
• >Missed motor skill development mile markers, such as catching a ball

ADHD

• Easily distracted and forgetful
• Problems processing information accurately and quickly
• Touching or playing with everything especially in a new environment
• Very impatient and can’t wait their turn
• Over-reacting when upset or bothered, without consideration for others

Can you see why there might be confusion? Dr Miodovnik recommends that parents who believe that a child younger than 5 has ADHD should take their child to a developmental pediatrician, rather than a family physician, to make sure that possible autism will not be overlooked. He also recommends this because managing a child with ADHD can be complicated.

If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA and you’re concerned that your child has been thoroughly diagnosed and is receiving optimal treatment, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

If you have a loved one that has been diagnosed with ASD, you will also benefit from learning how science is unlocking the key to understanding Asperger behavior. My book, Out of Mind – Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD), explores the science behind Asperger’s. If you want to understand your Aspie better, this is a must read.

Family vacations should be fun and relaxing. However, for those who have family members with Asperger’s Syndrome, flying becomes a terrible source of anxiety and frustration.

“My husband, Grant, and my daughter, Jasmine, were nervous wrecks on the plane, worried about terrorists and losing our luggage. They both dithered obsessively about everything. At one point I thought I had lost our passports, and both of them came unglued. They screamed at me that I couldn’t be trusted and that we would all be arrested. Good grief. All I did was stuff the passports in the wrong pocket and had to search for a few minutes to find them. But they made it almost impossible for me to do that because I became so upset by their accusations. When I finally found the passports, they were both so upset that they blamed me for upsetting them, too. But we got home in one piece, with all of our luggage and our passports – and my sanity.”

You may have heard of a new trend called “tiger parenting.” However, according to the American Psychological Association strict and emotionally unsupportive isn’t the parenting formula for high-achieving child prodigies. In fact, researchers say tiger parenting can be harmful to children’s wellbeing and academic success.

Strong parents are neither permissive nor authoritarian.

Authoritarian parents impose absolute standards of conduct, stress obedience, and are willing to use physical punishment to gain compliance. Their children are often irritable, dependent, and submissive and have a limited sense of responsibility and lower levels of academic achievement. Although these children receive a lot of attention, it is often of the negative kind, which reinforces feelings of inadequacy.

Permissive parents are those who provide their children with few controls or demands and display moderate levels of warmth. Children of permissive parents are usually impulsive, aggressive, self-centered, and low in achievement and independence. This is because they are left alone a lot and begin to assume that they are not much cared about.

Many children rise above the standards proscribed by permissive or authoritarian parents, but the majority develop emotional problems that follow them into adult life. Authoritarian parents may secure obedience from their children, but at the price of fear. Children of permissive parents do not learn teamwork. As adults these children run the risk of having imbalance in their marriages and their work lives.

The ideal, however, is to be an authoritative parent who combines warmth with moderate levels of control. Authoritative parents are rational, receptive, and flexible. They encourage independence in their children, but give them only as much responsibility as they can handle. Instead of demanding blind obedience, they set clear rules and are willing to explain those rules to their children. Children of authoritative parents are independent, assertive, self-confident, and socially responsible and tend to do well academically.

The authoritative parent is a strong leader. The child knows where he or she stands with the parent and believes that he or she is loved. Because the parent is a leader and not an authoritarian, the child admires the mother or father and looks to her or him for guidance instead of obeying out of fear. Because authoritative parents allow the child to try things out for him- or herself, under their supervision, the child develops a sense of mastery of the environment, which leads to positive self-esteem. Children raised in this type of environment develop a strong sense of self. They are aware of their strengths and their weaknesses and are prepared to work on both.

If you feel like you’re struggling as a parent, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. In fact, seeking professional help can ensure a healthy, happy family life. If you like in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Click here to read more about five key areas to master as a parent.