Category: Blog Posts

Have you noticed that your Aspie struggles to understand that someone is “pulling their leg”? Or they’re confused by irony, pretense, metaphor, and deception? Their “mind blindness” and difficulty with empathy cause them to be clueless in social situations such as these and they need help to navigate through them.

Empathy is a complex system of emotional empathy and cognitive empathy and multiple transitions between the two. To help clarify this issue, I wrote an article for PsychCentral discussing the difference between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy and how you can help your loved one bridge the empathy gap. I’d encourage you to click here to read the entire PsychCentral article. (And while you’re there, will you share this information from your favorite social media platform, too?)

Most Neuro-Typicals make the transition between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy very easily, and thereby strike an easy balance between the two. Aspies, on the other hand, find it very difficult to accomplish this. The resulting disconnect between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy really defines Asperger Syndrome.

They struggle to recognize where someone’s distress is coming from (Cognitive Empathy) and they struggle with knowing how awful someone is feeling (Emotional Empathy). And they can’t easily move between the two and they’re unable to put personal needs aside for the moment and reach out to comfort another. Another factor is that true empathy also requires the ability to talk about this integration.

Don’t misunderstand. Those with Asperger’s can be deeply moved by life experiences. Yet they’re unable to speak to those responses through their own mental reasoning. And because those feelings can become so intense without having any way to express them, those with Asperger’s shut down to protect themselves. They avoid eye contact, because it adds to the emotional overload. It’s hard for them to hear your words and change their focus when their feelings are so overwhelming.

Because those with Asperger’s can’t bridge that gap, family member must make a bridge for them with comforting, supportive and loving words. One way to reduce the emotional overload for Aspies and NTs alike is to have a calming and knowledgeable professional to help sort things out.

If you anticipate an emotionally trying time approaching, such as the death of a loved one, a psychologist can help your Aspie reason through what’s happening to himself and to the dying loved one. An objective professional can put words to the emotions that well up. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA, please contact my office and schedule an appointment. With practice in therapy, your family may be able to talk about the events to come and plan a course of action, thereby averting the need for, and the resulting trauma of, any unprepared sudden emotional transition.

How do you determine what’s right and what’s wrong for yourself? How do you judge the actions and ethics of others? Are we hardwired with a set of standards? What accounts for the differences among people? Neuroscience of morality is uncovering the remarkable way in which reason and emotion activate the brain networks when we make decisions, especially moral judgments.

As studies are conducted using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) patterns are emerging, which give us clues as to what is going on in the brain. A CNN article, “How your brain makes moral judgments”, reports on many of these findings. Here are a few that I found fascinating…

Joshua D. Greene, associate professor at Harvard University, published an influential study in 2001. His study suggests that the three brain structures involved in the emotional processes that influence moral decisions are the medial prefrontal cortex, the posterior cingulate and angular gyrus. Other studies also confirm that these areas, as well as the ventral prefrontal cortex are activated in processing moral judgments.

And there’s evidence that supports that we are hard-wired to activate these regions as we’re confronted with moral dilemmas.

Randy Buckner and colleagues wrote a 2008 study that says in part:

“Thirty years of brain imaging research has converged to define the brain’s default network…(this) default network is active when individuals are engaged in internally focused tasks including autobiographical memory retrieval, envisioning the future, and conceiving the perspectives of others.”

His study goes on to say that this default network can be defined by the interaction of multiple subsystems in the brain, i.e.,

“The medial temporal lobe subsystem provides information from prior experiences in the form of memories and associations that are the building blocks of mental simulation. The medial prefrontal subsystem facilitates the flexible use of this information during the construction of self-relevant mental simulations. These two subsystems converge on important nodes of integration including the posterior cingulate cortex.”

Understanding the brain’s networking systems will enable us to better understand those with impaired abilities to make good moral judgments – which includes various mental disorders. Until there’s a cure, psychotherapy has proven very effective in helping people to live a much fuller and more meaningful life. A healthy brain equals healthy relationships. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Do you feel your biological age? Some days do you feel like your 18 again and others you could be 100? A recent CNN article discussed new research published by JAMA Internal Medicine online about our attitude toward aging and how it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. (Check out their slide show of 10 centenarians and their amazing accomplishments during “old age” like running a marathon and competing in the AU World Masters Games.) The way you perceive your health, limitations and wellbeing can greatly affect your mortality.

Researchers found that those who feel younger than their chronological age live longer than those who feel their age or feel older. While they don’t fully understand why, the researchers have noticed the following similar traits among the long-lived:

• This “youthful” group keeps more active.
• They maintain a healthy weight.
• They nurture their happyinterest in life.
• They engage in healthy behavior instead of risky behavior.
• They feel more in control.
• They have greater resilience.
• They have good social relationships.
• They keep a positive, optimistic attitude.
• They are content with their lives.

The two main characteristics that seem to help people live a longer life are consciousness and optimism. While the findings of this latest research are not new, it does reinforce that our conscious choices shape our quality of life. So what does your future look like?

It’s never too late to start living a more meaningful and happy life. I had the privilege of having one of my essays published in a wonderful book entitled, Sixty Things To Do When You Turn Sixty. (You can purchase a copy of the book here.) The big 6-0 is just the beginning! Do you have any stories of people who have accomplished remarkable things in their 80’s, 90’s, and 100’s? Please come to my Facebook page and share them with us.

This question was recently discussed by Richard Friedman, a professor of clinical psychiatry and the director of the psychopharmacology clinic at the Weill Cornell Medical College. He’s looking at the alarming increase in ADHD diagnoses and is trying to determine the best treatment options.

Here’s a snippet from his NY Times article, A Natural Fix for ADHD:

“Recent neuroscience research shows that people with A.D.H.D. are actually hard-wired for novelty-seeking…Compared with the rest of us, they have sluggish and underfed brain reward circuits, so much of everyday life feels routine and understimulating.

To compensate, they are drawn to new and exciting experiences and get famously impatient and restless with the regimented structure that characterizes our modern world. In short, people with A.D.H.D. may not have a disease, so much as a set of behavioral traits that don’t match the expectations of our contemporary culture. From the standpoint of teachers, parents and the world at large, the problem with people with A.D.H.D. looks like a lack of focus and attention and impulsive behavior. But if you have the “illness,” the real problem is that, to your brain, the world that you live in essentially feels not very interesting.”

Novel experiences release dopamine in the reward circuit of the brain, which varies in sensitivity from person to person. And according to research done by Dr. Nora D. Volkow, a scientist who directs the National Institute on Drug Abuse, people with ADHD have less sensitive receptors, so it takes more stimulation to satisfy them. Hence they are more easily bored. Changing their environment and helping them to modify their behavior has helped many to “outgrow” ADHD as Dr. Friedman’s article attests. I encourage you to read his entire article.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Oregon and Washington have some of the highest percentages of children diagnosed with ADHD (9.1% to 11%) yet they receive a significantly less amount of treatment (3.15 to 5%). Most alarmingly however, is that nationwide more than 10,000 toddlers, ages 2 and 3, are given ADHD drugs! I can’t help but wonder what the far-reaching consequences of this will be.

Medication is not the only option for treatment of ADHD. Psychotherapy has proven to be very effective in helping children with ADHD. I encourage you to consult with a mental health professional and explore these healthier, alternative treatments for ADHD. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Read more on my website: ADD and ADHD.

Have you ever heard the word chronotype? It’s a way of classifying whether your internal circadian clock is set for you to be a night owl or a morning person. Our society is greatly shaped by the belief that early risers will be the movers and shakers and those who are night owls are the partiers and are more creative. We’ve all heard this sentiment in sayings such as “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” or “The early bird gets the worm”.

The Harvard Review carries an article by Christoph Randler, a professor of biology at the University of Education in Heidelberg, Germany on his study of morning people verses evening people and their role in job performance. He found that there’s a genetic predisposition to whether you’re a morning person or night owl. And those who wake up early are more likely to be productive. Morning people anticipate problems and try to minimize them. Evening people, on the other hand, tend to be more creative.

The Huffington Post has an article by Dr. Michael Breus, clinical psychologist and board certified sleep specialist, and he reports that the brain structure actually differs between night owls and early risers. “Compared to early risers and intermediates, night owls showed reduced integrity of white matter in several areas of the brain. White matter is fatty tissue in the brain that facilitates communication among nerve cells. Diminished integrity of the brain’s white matter has been linked to depression and to disruptions of normal cognitive function.” The article also said night owls are prone to significant tobacco and alcohol use. They are inclined to eat more and have less healthful diets. On the positive side, they tend to be more analytical and have more stamina.

Can a person change from night owl to morning person? According to a recent CNN article, there are 19 ways to trick yourself into becoming a morning person. They involve creating a new routine and having a definite goal in mind. Some of them include:

• Make the change in 15-minute increments.
• Turn off the electronics at least 1 hour before bedtime.
• Use that hour to prepare for the next day.
• Write out your to-do list and get those things off of your mind.
• Create an environment conducive to sleep – darken the room, turn the temperature down to 65˚F.
• Avoid eating or drinking a lot before going to bed.
• Don’t hit the snooze button, but get up. Going back to sleep may put you into a deep sleep stage, which will make you really groggy.

A good sleep routine is crucial to optimum health, job performance, and quality of life. A night owl trying to fit into a morning person society may suffer from sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation can have serious long-term effects as it can escalate into psychological disorders like depression and anxiety. If you feel this is a problem for you, please contact a mental health care professional in your area. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA, please contact my office and schedule an appointment today.

By proactively managing your sleep pattern, you could create an extra hour in your day. How would you use it? Please join me on my Facebook page and tell me about it.

Have you enjoyed reading my books, Out of Mind – Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD) and/or Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? (If you haven’t read them yet, you still have time. You can get them here.)

I’d really like to hear what you think of them, but I know you’re busy. So, as a big thank you for taking the time, I’m running a “Feedback” Contest on Facebook.

What’s the prize for entering the contest?

You’ll get to enjoy a free 20-minute remote educational conversation with me, Dr. Kathy Marshack. This is a $75 value. (This is not therapy. It’s for you to ask any follow up questions you have about the books or what you’ve read on the website.)

• The winner will be notified on January 7, 2015 by email.
• The winner will be announced on my Facebook page, so be sure to like my page and follow it so you can see who the winner is.
• I have the discretionary authority to personally choose the comment that touches my heart the most. (I know this is going to be a tough choice, because so many of you in our AS Meetup Group have expressed such heartfelt appreciation already.)
• You must schedule and use your conversation by March 30th or you forfeit the prize.

The rules for the contest are simple:

• The contest begins: December 8, 2014
• The contest ends: midnight December 31, 2014
• Fill in your real name, email, and phone number (so we can schedule your prize.)
• Provide a heartfelt comment about one or both of my Asperger Syndrome books.
• Please include the name of the book in your comments. (You can use these abbreviated names: Out of Mind or Going over the Edge)
• Since your comments may be used for promotional purposes, please end your comment with how you’d like to be listed on my website, should we choose to do so. Otherwise, we will use the name you filled in the form with. You may use your initials, your first name, or your full name and please list your country (I have a global community so I’d really like to know where you’re writing from.)
• One entry per person.

When you visit my Facebook page, you’ll see a green tab called, FEEDBACK CONTEST. Or better yet, go directly to the CONTEST.  I’m really excited to hear what you have to say.