Category: Blog Posts

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Entrepreneurial Women Changing the World We Live In

women entrepreneurs juggle home and work The numbers of entrepreneurial women are increasing rapidly. Because women are socialized differently than men, they tend to organize and run their businesses differently, though they are no less a force on the American economy. This is changing the way America does business, AND the ways Americans do marriage and family. Let’s examine this in more depth… 

How entrepreneurial women balance home life and work life.

Career women struggle with societal values and their own internalized beliefs about what is required of the competent professional versus the good wife and mother. In order to ease the struggle to define themselves, women can opt for the traditional homemaker role and not work outside the home. However, work proves to be powerfully alluring to women. Therefore, career women have chosen other methods to resolve this struggle.

Most commonly, entrepreneurial women overwork. Instead of asking for changes from their husbands, changes in the workplace, or even changes in society, career women increase the time spent in nurturing relationships as they increase their commitment to work.
While men strive for autonomy first and learn about relationships second, women develop their sense of self first in connection with others. Therefore, a woman’s sense of worth is highly dependent on the consequences of relationships.

Entrepreneurial women use unconventional methods in business management.

Women entrepreneurs have a more relaxed style of management. This can be seen in how women entrepreneurs treat their employees, suppliers, and customers. They seem to prefer a more people-oriented style. According to Putnam’s 1993 study of entrepreneurial women in Oregon, women entrepreneurs blend their personal and their business identities. They base their management of the business on relationships rather than on the development of business plans. Employees are considered friends. Family and spouse support are elements without which the woman would not consider an entrepreneurial venture. Rather than network within traditional business organizations, entrepreneurial women rely on strong personal relationships with their customers and vendors. These findings led Putnam to describe the business orientation of entrepreneurial women as a “web of interconnected relationships.”
Since this is becoming the norm, why don’t you and your partner reevaluate the arrangements you’ve made, as well as the assumptions underlying those arrangements? Are there ways that you can reorganize your relationship, your business, and your personal life to create an arrangement that works better for both of you? If you’d like a third party to help sort it out, talking with a family therapist can help. Contact my office and set up an appointment in either my Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington office.
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What is a NET Practitioner

treat holistically mind body connection NET stands for Neuro Emotional Technique. It is an approach to helping stress related conditions through improving the mind-body relationship. A NET practitioner knows that you must treat the whole person. It was developed in the early 1980’s by Scott Walker, DC. He first developed a procedure using a specific chiropractic adjustment that achieved astounding psychological and physiological improvements. Then in the 1990’s NET was enlarged to address these four major components that affect your total well-being:

  1. Effects of emotional or stress related factors. NET is one approach used to treat these.
  2. Effects of toxins (things that are in the body and shouldn’t be there). Specific homeopathic support can help.
  3. Effects of nutrition (things that should be in your body but aren’t) Diet and nutritional support can help.
  4. Effects of structural and physical corrections. Chiropractic treatments help this.
Stress affects the body in many ways – chronic pain, organ dysfunctions, neurological problems, musculoskeletal and immunological conditions, allergies, headaches and more.
Stress also affects the mind creating phobias, depression, anxieties, ADD / ADHD, nightmares, disruptive behavior, fear of public speaking and more. 

NET doesn’t “cure” the patient. Rather it removes blocks, allowing the body to repair itself naturally.

NET practitioners determine which stress factors are contributing to the patient’s condition by employing the Manual Muscle Test. This accesses how emotions affect the way your body works. Muscles will usually test strong when a patient makes a statement with which he is in harmony, where in contrast a muscle will usually test weak when the patient says a non-harmonizing statement.

The practitioner determines which application is needed to correct the weakness. When the appropriate intervention is achieved, the previously weak Manual Muscle Test will now test strong. Follow up visits determines if the initial stress factors are stabilized.

The primary goal of NET is to resolve mind-body stress. The treatment process includes having the patient connect with his “feelings” around a stress-related issue (the memory/physiological dynamic) while a correction is made to allow the body to stop the unresolved stress response.
If you’re tired of being treated for the symptoms and want to finally get to the root of your health problems, perhaps it’s time to consult with a NET practitioner. If you are looking for a NET Practitioner in Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington, contact my office and set up an appointment.
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4 Steps to Healing Negative Emotions

use a notepad to do these four steps to healing negative emotions When you run a family business, unresolved emotions can complicate the business relationship. When you improve the parent/child relationship, your family business will be a much less stressful place in which to work. How can you do this?

To clear up the negative emotions you have with your parents or children, take a moment to do the following four steps:

Step one:


Go to a quiet place and think about what really makes you angry with your loved one. This is the time for honestly listing the flaws, mistakes, habits and traits that bother you.

Step two:

List everything you admire and are grateful for in your loved one.

Step three:


Now comes the harder part, honestly ask yourself which traits are you perpetuating in the family tradition. Feelings of guilt may make it hard for you to acknowledge your parents flaws or your own, so it might be wise to ask your spouse for input.

Step four:

Finally, make a plan of action to change the negative traits.

These four steps reveal a great deal. Because of feeling guilty and wishing to avoid blame, you may inadvertently be carrying on the same mistakes generation after generation.

The goal of each generation should be to improve, not repeat mistakes. Holding your parents accountable gives you freedom to do the same. Accountability is the answer to removing negative emotions. It does no good to keep doing the blame game. When you’re respectful in your confrontations, you can communicate how your parents/children have hurt or angered you. An essential key to being respectful is to give them the dignity of being capable of accepting responsibility for their mistakes and correcting them.
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Identify Faulty Thinking to Relieve Emotions

Emotional pain is very real.

, people who were given Tylenol (acetaminophen) before recalling a painful rejection reported less emotional pain than people who were given a placebo.

Emotional distress distorts our thinking and decision making skills. But we can combat these bad effects by retraining how we think. If you can define faulty, irrational thinking and change it into more constructive thinking, you’re entire well-being will improve.

Let’s examine some faulty thinking and determine a better way of thinking:


1. “I should toughen up and dismiss my emotional distress.”


Constructive thinking – A person experiences distress because something is not right, so it’s important to think about the situation in a constructive way and understand what happened in order to avoid future problems as well as identify how you can move past this experience.

Faulty thinking – Replaying the same thoughts and memories without gaining any new insights only creates a deeper hurt and can become a set pattern of thinking that is hard to dispel. It also releases stress hormones into your body thereby increasing the risk of heart disease.

2. “I failed, so I give up.”


Constructive thinking – Consider what you could have done differently, perhaps getting more facts before you act or planning and preparing what you want to do and say ahead of time. Then try again using what you’ve just learned until you get it right.

Faulty thinking – Feeding your sense of helplessness by not owning up to your part, attributing it to bad luck or blaming someone else.

3. “I feel guilty so I must keep making amends.”


Constructive thinking – Guilt alerts you that you’ve harmed someone so you can set things straight with that person. Put yourself in their shoes and feel what they’ve felt before you apologize, then your making amends will touch a responsive cord and you’ll receive their forgiveness.

Faulty thinking – An unfeeling apology or excessively apologizing are two extremes to be avoided, because these damage your relationship and hinder your enjoyment of life.

4. “Telling myself that I’m lovable doesn’t work for me.”


Constructive thinking – Recognize and reinforce the qualities that you do have, e.g. “I’m a caring, loyal, hard-working person.”

Faulty thinking – If you don’t believe you’re lovable, you won’t be able to talk yourself into feeling it. So the positive affirmation, “I’m lovable” will only make you feel worse.

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Two Types of Happiness and Their Effects

two types of happiness Throughout our lives we experience happiness to varying degrees, from being mildly pleased to being wildly ecstatic. A recently released study shows that the reason why we are happy is important.

A group of scientists have been studying the impact that positive emotion has on our physical and psychological well-being. They recently released their findings and the results are surprising. They found proof that the type of happiness you experience changes you at the cellular level.

What does it mean by “type of happiness”? In the study they classified happiness into two types: hedonic (pleasure from instant gratification) and eudaimonic (pleasure from working toward the greater good, a sense of meaning in life or purpose).
While both types of happiness have positive effects on a person, eudaimonic happiness does greater good for you on the cellular level. It tells your genes to produce a lower level of inflammatory proteins and more antiviral and antibody proteins. This has a good affect on your body.

If you have prolonged stress, your white blood cells make more pro-inflammatory proteins. In the short term, this is a defense against infection. But over time this inflammation can cause damage to healthy tissue. 

What does all of this mean? In part, it means that a person who strives to be happy by giving to others and living a meaningful life will be healthier than people who are focused on pleasing themselves. Not too surprising is it? But now we have scientific proof that it’s true.

There can be a number of reasons why a person doesn’t feel happy – emotional stress, family pressure, environmental toxins, biochemical/nutritional imbalances to mention a few. If you’d like to take a more proactive approach to finding meaning and satisfaction in you’re life, you can work with a mental health professional to set meaningful goals. Contact my office and set up an appointment if you’re near my offices in Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington.
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Don’t Compromise | Negotiate Win Win Solutions

Do you find that most of your controversies end with both parties being satisfied with the outcome? Or do you find that someone usually ends up being resentful, which is damaging to the relationship? Whether it’s between business associates, family members or friends, how can you possibly achieve a win-win situation in controversial matters?Letting go of the notion that good relationships are based on compromise is tough. Most of us have been taught that compromise is essential because both people can’t be right. But the truth is there really are many right solutions to a problem. We tend to think our solution is the only right one because it fits our reality best.

When you aren’t “bent” on having your way, but are willing to risk a little annoyance or confusion instead of settling for a compromise, you’ll find a much more creative solution in the long run.

Just as listening is a difficult skill to master, learning the art of negotiating a win-win or no-compromise solution with another person requires a lot of effort. But the pay off is a relationship filled with respect and cooperation.

By listening you can begin to understand the other person’s world or “map of reality.“ This is vital to developing your communication strategy. Good listening requires that you get your own ego out of the way and that you don’t require the other person to think and talk as you do.

Next, listen to what the other individual is trying to tell you instead of their words. Remember that all human behavior is meaningful, but the meaning may be disguised.

Listening also requires that you be truly interested in the other person. If you are genuine, the other individual feels appreciated and tries that much harder to communicate. Even if you don’t agree on something, the fact that you are making an extra effort to understand the other’s reality will move you both toward a win-win solution.

Working toward a win-win solution encourages free thinking in those around you. If you have a powerful or charismatic personality, you may be able to garner obedience from others. However, you will then deny yourself the opportunity to benefit from their creativity.

It does require that you are willing to devote time. You can’t give up in a huff or sacrifice your position because you are beaten down. You may be tempted to resort to intimidation for the sake of expediency, but you will risk rapport. Remember, just because someone gives in doesn’t mean they agree with you. Acquiescence often leads the person to become sneaky to get their way or to be passive aggressive and dig in their heels on other issues.

If there is no solution on the horizon, table the discussion until you sleep on it. Oftentimes, this will bring the solution. You may also benefit from seeking the advice of an impartial counselor. If you’re near Portland Oregon/Vancouver, Washington, contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Want to learn more? Check out my website – ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life With an Adult on the Autism Spectrum.

If you have a loved one on the Spectrum, please check our private MeetUp group. We have members from around the world meeting online in intimate video conferences guided by Dr. Kathy Marshack.
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