Author: Kathy Marshack

Strong, driven, successful, untrusting, perfectionist, reliable, intolerant, a loner . . . These are some of the traits that belong to the authoritarian entrepreneur type and often times they are incredibly successful in business. While many of these traits are positive and lead to success, there is one major flaw of the authoritarian entrepreneur.

An authoritarian entrepreneur believes that he or she is doing a good job for family and employees, regardless of their protests. He can only see his point of view and assumes that others agree with it or otherwise are too immature to understand. Because he believes he is doing what is best for everyone, he pushes ahead with his plans, often ignoring the challenges, complaints and cries of those he is pushing aside. Once his family or employees fight back, he feels betrayed and hurt.

The authoritarian entrepreneur has no awareness that he has any problems, which makes it exceedingly difficult to get help. He is an example of a good quality gone awry. That is, he travels on the notion that “the end justifies the means.” This end-justifies-the-means drive comes from an insecurity deep inside the authoritarian entrepreneur. The source of this insecurity depends upon the individual. It may come from a childhood experience of being abused or threatened by a critical, distant, or aloof parent, whom the entrepreneur could never please. It may come from the lessons of a traumatic experience, such as war combat, wherein the entrepreneur learned to stay alive by doing whatever it took. It may come from an actual organic disability, such as dyslexia, making schooling difficult, and the entrepreneur all the more determined to prove he is smart or smarter-than. Whatever, the reason, the authoritarian entrepreneur has a fear of failure, tucked away deep inside that drives him to succeed at whatever the cost.

If you are an authoritarian entrepreneur, use stubbornness or personal strength to attack the problem and solve it. You have intelligence and drive. You have already proven that you can succeed. Now admit your flaws and rebalance your life. Grieve your losses. Learn to love. Break the pattern of insecurity in your family that began with an abusive parent, or a thoughtless teacher, or a war that shaped a vulnerable teenager. By keeping those fears buried, you are perpetuating the insecurity into the next generation. As much as that negative energy (i.e., fear, anger and depression) has served you to create wealth, it has also alienated your family. Is this really the legacy you wish to pass onto your children? Seek help. It will be worth your while.

For more information, read my article – Living With an Authoritarian Entrepreneur.

I recently received a message through the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD Meetup page from Marni Pasch, Executive Assistant of Birth Defects Research for Children Inc. After reading the message, I felt inclined to write about the effort that is being made to find out if there is a connection between Autism Spectrum Disorders and congenital defects.

Birth Defects Research for Children has sponsored the National Birth Defect Registry which is a program designed to look for connections between prenatal factors and birth defects both structural and functional. A study about ASD was released in 2009. Because of interesting trends in the study, BDRC plans to revisit the previous findings in 2012.

Here are some of the interesting findings taken directly from the 2009 BDRC Report:

• Over 60% of registry cases with ASDs also had structural birth defects. These were primarily Central Nervous System of Craniofacial Defects.
• Seven cases of ASDs reported chromosomal disorders. There were also two cases of Goldenhar Syndrome – Goldenhar Syndrome has been previously linked with Autism.
• 40% of ASD cases reported were associated developmental problems but not structural birth defects.
• 21 families who reported one child with an ASD had other children with birth defects. Seven families had two children with ASD (including one set of twins).
• In 12 cases, one parent served in the first Gulf War. In 13 cases, one parent was a Vietnam veteran.

Click here to read the entire study.

Only 137 cases were used in the 2009 research. With the upcoming study, researchers are looking for more participants. If you are a parent with an ASD child, I encourage you to investigate this research. The more case studies there are, the closer we may be to discovering meaningful research. Visit www.birthdefects.org for more information and to learn how you can participate.

To parents with high school students who have Asperger’s, High-Functioning Autism, PDD-NOS, ADD, NLD, Dyslexia, and other learning differences, College Internship Program (CIP) has an exciting offer for you. CIP is offering a program to help your teen transition from high school to college with a 2012 summer program.

Making that transition for a teen with learning disabilities can be incredibly challenging. To assist with this challenge, CIP has specifically designed this program. The curriculum includes:

• Roommate Rules: Written and Unwritten
• Navigating a college campus
• Social dining, chit chat and eating rules
• Self-advocacy and disclosure
• Self-initiation
• Making plans with friends and planning leisure activities
• College 101

• Dealing with being away from home

In addition to the above, every day will begin with using ice breakers, idioms, and a discussion of expected versus unexpected behaviors. Six different dates and locations are being offered. This is a wonderful opportunity. I highly recommend looking into it for your teen. They are now accepting applications. Click here for more information.

I am sure you have heard of the phrase, “Six degrees of separation.” Back in 1967, a psychologist by the name of Stanley Milgram, conducted a study to see how many acquaintances separated one person from another. He concluded that the number was six. Fast forward to 2011 and the era of Facebook, studies now show that the number has changed from six degrees to 4.74 degrees.

In one month, scientists at Facebook and the University of Milan used a set of algorithms to calculate the distance between the 721 million Facebook users around the world. Their conclusion was 4.74 degrees. I guess we can truly say that it is a small world. To read more about this fascinating study, read the New York Times article – Separating You and Me? 4.74 Degrees.

After reading this, it did make me think about the people we choose to refer to as our “friends.” When it comes to making friends on social networking sites, many choose to friend just about anyone. While it can be both interesting to see and monitor the people we come in contact with, nothing will ever or should ever replace the value of cultivating deep and meaningful friends. These types of friends do not number into the hundreds, but rather just a small handful. Even though you may only have a few in your lifetime, it is a beautiful thing to take the time to maintain the real fulfilling friendships. Maybe take a moment today and tell one of those special people how much you appreciate them. I guarantee it will brighten their day and yours.

To all my readers, I want to make you aware of a situation that I found a bit disturbing during this busy shopping season. CnnMoney.com released an article about how this year, two malls are tracking the movements of shoppers cells phones from Black Friday through New Year’s Day. The reason given was to track the movements of shoppers throughout the mall and collect data to learn about their shoppers, what they do, where they go etc. This is the first time that this type of data has been collected by cell phones. The data is apparently anonymous and no specific shopper is targeted. Stores hung signs notifying customers of the tracking and said if they prefer not to be tracked, then their cell phone should be turned off.

Some of you may have mixed emotions about this type of tracking. Some may view it as “market research” while others may feel an invasion of privacy. I wanted to share my concerns with you, possibly giving you something to think about especially if you haven’t before. One of my concerns is safety. The management company behind this tracking claims that it is safe and there is no personal data collected. Granted that may be true, but just because someone says it, doesn’t mean it is true. It raises the question, how safe is you personal information? Are you taking precautions to protect yourself?

My other main concern is for children and teens. Most have cell phones nowadays. Parents, are you discussing with your children the possible dangers that are out there? Are you teaching them to also take the necessary precautions? This can also branch over to the Internet and social networking. Are they using the privacy settings correctly? Parents, educate yourselves so you can educate your children.

Of course, this information is not to frighten you, but to make you more aware. If you’d like even more food for thought take a look at the book, “Unplug the Christmas Machine” where the authors examine the impact of the American way of life on a peaceful holiday season.

Many people only think about being thankful around Thanksgiving but once a year isn’t enough. Gratitude may have a greater affect on your emotions than you realize. Having a grateful attitude is now linked to less stress and anxiety, sleeping more soundly, better physical health, greater satisfaction in life and relationships. Those are some pretty powerful reasons. You may be thinking that this type of attitude just does not come naturally for you. Do not despair. You can learn to cultivate it.A few tips to help cultivate a grateful attitude:

Write down what you are grateful for everyday. Years ago, Oprah encouraged her viewers to start a “gratitude journal.” Everyday write down a few things that you are grateful for. This simple, daily task really works. Over the course of a few months, you will be surprised how you will be more inclined to take note of the little things that are positive versus getting sucked into the negative. You will be focused on looking for the good. By noticing what others are doing for you, you will be drawn to do more for others because you recognize how it feels to be the recipient.

Express it. Once you are noticing the good things that others are doing in your behalf, thank them. If it came from a random person, stop and sincerely thank them. People do not get thanked enough in this world. If it is someone you know well, consider writing them a letter or an email expressing how much you appreciate them. Try this especially if you are having a bad day. I guarantee that it will lift your spirits.

Put a positive spin on a negative situation. When a frustrating scenario arises, instead of focusing on your frustration, realize that it could be worse. If you think of how the situation could be worse, the situation you are in will naturally look more appealing. This may seem silly, but it’s really all about perspective.

If you just seem to not be able to get out of your negative funk, then you might need to seek some professional guidance. Click on the links for information on Managing Stress and Overcoming Depression.