Author: Kathy Marshack

Millions of men are affected every year by depression. Many men like to keep their emotions tucked away which can make it difficult to recognize the signs and symptoms. Unlike the “typical” sadness, depression in men comes across aggressive and irritable. It may be hard for a man to admit to being depressed, but pushing aside the stereotypes and seeking help is necessary – especially if there are children involved.

A study performed at the New York University School of Medicine noted a serious issue for children with depressed fathers. After analyzing 22,000 children in two-parent homes, noted that children with depressed dads are more likely to have behavioral and emotional problems. Researcher Michael Weitzman, M.D. stated the seriousness of depression in the family by stating, “There is a doubling of the risk if the father alone is depressed, a tripling of the risk if the mother alone is depressed, and the risk increases fourfold if kids have a depressed mom and dad.” For more information on this study, read Dad’s Depression May Raise Kids’ Risk of Emotional Problems.

Many times depression is something that can’t be avoided, but it can be treated. If a mother or a father is depressed, then seek help immediately. You will feel better and your children will benefit in a big way. For more information, read – How to Help Children with Depressed Parents and Overcoming Depression.

I like to remind parents with Asperger children, you are the most valuable instructor your child has. Granted, teachers and therapists play a vital role in assisting your child, but as a parent, your relationship with your child is unique. For one thing, your child loves you which also means they trust you. You also spend the most amount of time with them. You may feel that you are inadequate as an instructor, but that is not the case. You do not have to be a professional to assist your child to develop and grow.

Asperger Syndrome (AS) is usually demonstrated by deficits in communication, social skills and reciprocity of feelings. The Aspie knows what they think and feel but are often unaware of what their loved ones think or feel. Therefore, one of the most important areas a parent should work on is to helping their child to develop socials skills.

Here are a few easy ideas to help develop stronger social skills in Aspie children:

Practice eye contact. Teach your child why they should make eye contact. Then practice. When you and your child are speaking, make sure they are looking you in the eye. If they become more comfortable making eye contact at home, they will be more likely to try it with others.

Use pictures. Reading emotions in others can be very difficult for Aspies. One of my favorite tips in this regard is to use pictures to help your child identify different emotions. Have a picture of someone who is angry, sad, afraid, happy etc. Once they have mastered how to identify these emotions, you can then progress to teaching them how to respond to when they see someone with that expression.

Role play. Think of different socials situations your child may be in. Role play with them those situations. Practice with them what they should say and how they should act. It is important for them to repeat the words and the actions. It will make a deeper impression on them.

Encourage observation. When you are in a situation with other children, encourage your child to look around to see what the other children are doing. Then tell them what you see and what is good about the observed action. The goal is to help them to imitate that good behavior.

Positive reinforcement. Look for the good behavior and good qualities that they are exhibiting and be quick to commend them. When giving commendation, be specific. Explain what they did that you liked and why you liked it. Click here for more information about the benefits of positive reinforcement.

Parents, take the time to help your child develop the necessary social skills. If you need assistance or more advice in this area, seek out a therapist who specializes in Asperger Syndrome. If you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, contact my office to set up an appointment.

Click here to read Asperger Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions.

To be a successful entrepreneur, you must be an achiever, driven, tenacious, and independent. This is the case regardless if you are a male entrepreneur or a female entrepreneur. With more and more female entrepreneurs entering the realm of success, many to wonder, What does it take to be a successful female entrepreneur?

The answer lies in these three things:

• Pride in Independent Thinking
• Fearless Determination to Achieve Goals
• A Willingness to Create Opportunities When Others See Limitations

Male and female entrepreneurs are cut from the same cloth, but what makes them different are the experiences in their lives and how those characteristics became manifest. Let me give you an example. To be female and to be a leader usually means heartache for girls before they come to accept how unusual they are and consider it an advantage. How many of you felt like an odd ball growing up? Over the years how many of you have been told you were too aggressive or unfeminine? How many of you outperformed your male colleagues only to watch the men be promoted at your expense?

For girls to grow up to be successful women business leaders they must conquer the fear of being unfeminine. Women leaders who have overcome their fear of thinking like a man, ore behaving like a man, know they are women. Furthermore they know that each woman leader is a unique human being who brings her own particular personality to the organization she is leading. Like male leaders, female leaders are more definable by their leadership qualities than their gender. Women who are leaders must pursue leadership by breaking the rules. If you don’t like breaking the rules, you can’t be a leader if you are female.

If you see leadership potential in yourself, nurture it. Follow those three key ideas and you too can be a successful female entrepreneur!

For more information, read my article – It Takes Three Things to be a Successful Entrepreneur or visit Entrepreneurial Life.

Thousands of children are adopted every year in the United States. Raising an adopted child and growing up adopted only applies to a specific group of people. Because of that, it does make them different, creating a unique set of challenges. Adoptive families can create a successful family unit, but the key to doing so is knowledge and application of such knowledge.

If you are thinking about adopting a child or have done so already, it is vital that you educate yourself about the effects that adoption can have on you and your child. You are both involved in a completely new experience and you must be prepared. Where can you go to educate yourself on parenting an adopted child? Fortunately the resources are endless!

Books and seminars are a wonderful place to start. You can also consider joining a support group with other parents that have adopted. Finding a group of people that can relate to the blessings and the challenges can be a real source of comfort.

Being an adoptive parent myself, I have found that one of the most valuable resources would be to regularly speak to an adoption professional who is also a mental health care professional. Since each adoptive family is different, this type of professional can specifically address the needs of your family. Books and seminars are for the masses, but a one to one discussion will be completely focused on your needs and the needs of your child. If you live in the Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington area, I would be happy to assist you. Contact my office to set up an appointment. If you live elsewhere, speak to your doctor or pediatrician for a referral.

The blessing of raising an adopted child are plenty. Take the time to be prepared to meet the challenges. You’ll be happy you did! For more information, visit Adoptive Families.

Chronic stress is a serious health concern. Many do not realize that if stress is not managed, the side effects can be severe. Chronic stress increases the risk of heart problems, strokes, susceptibility to infections and gastrointestinal problems. Stress can also affect weight. Some people suffer a loss of appetite and lose weight while others develop cravings for salt, fat, and sugar to counteract tension and end up gaining weight. Tension-type headache episodes are highly associated with stress. The tensions of unresolved stress can also frequently cause insomnia, generally keeping the stressed person awake or causing awakening in the middle of the night or early morning. Stress also has significant effects on the brain, particularly on memory. The typical victim of severe stress suffers loss of concentration at work and at home and may become inefficient and accident-prone.

If you have a loved one with Asperger Syndrome, you may be suffering from chronic stress. My advice to you is to take some time for “self-care.” It’s difficult to sometimes take time for ourselves, but it is necessary. Think about it this way, if you do not take care of yourself, it will be impossible to take care of others especially for your Aspie loved one. Self-care is different for every individual. For some it may be a trip to a massage therapist or a chiropractor. For others it may be reading a good book, taking a hot bath, or going for a run. Whatever it is, do it! Do not delay.

If taking a little “me” time is not lowering your stress level, you may need a more aggressive approach. I highly recommend therapy which will help you to learn valuable coping mechanisms. For more information, visit Managing Stress and Asperger Syndrome Support.

If you live in the Portland, Oregon area, I invite you to join the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD. On November 19, 2011 at 1:00 PM, we will be discussing “Adrenal Failure.” Come prepared with your self-care tips.

Click here to learn more about my book Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?

Fears are normal. They are a natural and
healthy part of life. They can allow a person to be on their toes and to
be watchful of what is happening around them. Even though there is a
positive side to fears, they can easily turn negative. When fears become
irrational, out of proportion to the situation, or without basis, it
becomes a phobia.

Phobias can be the fear of being in an enclosed area, fear of snakes, or fear of riding an airplane. A social phobia
can be manifested in the fear of public speaking or of being surrounded
by a crowd. They do not have to be complex to be a phobia. Some people
who have developed phobias are aware that the fear is not based on
rational thinking, but unfortunately, they are not able to get hold of
their emotions and rise above their irrational fear. 

How do you know if you have a phobia? Phobias often come with physical symptoms such as:
heart palpitations, difficulty in breathing, rapid breathing or
choking, nausea, vomiting or diarrhea, shaking, shuddering, sweating,
dizziness, insomnia, and increased sensitivity to sounds and light.

Even though the symptoms are severe, the good news is phobias can be relatively easy to treat.
It depends on the individual but oftentimes therapists find that
digging deeply into the root cause of the phobia is unnecessary. There
seems to be little correlation between phobias and personality or
personal history. Specifically, therapies that focus on treating the
symptoms are the most effective. Deep relaxation, systematic
desensitization and “flooding” are all behavioral techniques that have
proven remarkably effective with phobias. A promising therapy, called
“Eye Movement Desensitization,” is showing rapid cure also.

Do
not allow fears to turn into phobias and control your work, social life,
or your health. Seeking help the right kind of treatment from a
qualified therapist will help you overcome your phobias. Do not delay is
making the appointment – contact my office if you live in Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington and are looking for a therapist to help you manage your phobia.

For additional information, visit Conquering Fears and Phobias.