Relationships between Neurotypicals (NTs) and people on the Spectrum have their own difficulties, apart from regular relationships. That’s why I created the community, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD, as a group for partners, families and friends of “Aspies,” to gather and get support.
Being authentic is not easy, especially if you are in a relationship with a person who lacks empathy skills. After all, empathy is what binds all humans. Empathy is multidimensional – it’s a dynamic, evolving process, not a human trait.
People suffering from Empathy Dysfunctions can leave us feeling unheard and unimportant. Your spouse might hear what you say but is missing the bigger picture. This disconnection brings us down emotionally, exhausts us and creates chaos in our lives.
I have heard many people from my video conferences and teleconferences, describing living with someone with “Asperger’s” as walking on eggshells. It is so easy to say something that will set them off into a defensive tirade. But this walking on eggshells also extends to when you’re talking with others. Slowly, but surely, you change yourself – the way you talk and the way you are around others.
Let’s talk about how you can take your own life back. You can read more about empathy in the “Empathy: “Asperger’s” Style” blog I wrote. Understanding what is happening to your partner and what you are up against helps you redirect your energy to take better care of yourself and to embrace a more loving reality. This doesn’t mean everything works out; it just means that you’re more in charge. It can feel good.
In another popular blog, “Living with an “Aspie” Partner”, I’m talking about ways you can take your life back:
- The Art of Detachment – doesn’t mean you don’t care
- Emotional Self-Care – take time off for you
- Education – get informed to gain control
You can be the change you need in your life. Deciding to take back your life is an important step which not everyone is ready to make, and that’s okay. If you are ready to learn more about “Asperger Syndrome”, how to work on your relationship and to invest in yourself, please join our community, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD. You can go much further if you start rebuilding your identity. Being authentic is the key to success in life.
It’s important to learn how to continue to be empathic without denying your own boundaries and needs. If you don’t maintain this balance, you’ll burn out or at the least shy away from helping others, because it’s just too painful. Take your life back, because you are worth it.