This is no easy feat of course. Step one is to get our emotions and traditional beliefs out of the way. Step two is recognizing that Aspies want the same things we do, though they go about it differently. Step three is to speak their language – because they can’t learn ours.
If you’re a member of my Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD group, I invite you to attend the next video conference entitled, How to speak to your Aspie so that they will listen. It will held on Tuesday, June 12th or Wednesday, June 27th. Each aspie is different, but you will find that there are communication patterns they all follow. Come prepared to write down your own Rules of Engagement, as you identify problem areas in your communication. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
Things to avoid when speaking with your Aspie
- Double entendre
- Ambiguity or vagueness
- Passive-aggressive speech
- Slang or colloquialisms
- Beating around the bush
Things to include when speaking with your Aspie
- Say what you actually mean.
- Be open with your intentions.
- Voice your feelings but remind them this isn’t a criticism of them.
- Speak clearly and concisely, without rambling.
- Ask direct questions.
- Ask them to do one thing at a time.
- Withdraw from circular arguments.
- Accept that sometimes communication will hit a brick wall.
- Remain patient and calm.
Have you noticed any patterns that get in the way of your Aspie listening to you? Join me on Facebook and let’s start brainstorming some solutions.