Ever heard of MicroAggression? Maybe you’ve heard of it in connection with racism and sexism. It’s a phrase that was coined by psychiatrist, Chester M Pierce, MD, in the 1970’s and it refers to the intentional or unintentional ways of invalidating, degrading or insulting an individual based on a bias.
At last a word that describes perfectly those crazy making moments with your Aspie! What are some of these moments?
- When your Aspie denies your reality with a deft chess move to a totally unrelated topic.
- When they accuse you of always yelling when, in fact, you only exploded after great provocation.
- When your Aspie gives you the blank look.
What damage does Asperger MicroAgression do to a Neuro Typical partner?
- It destroys a person’s self-esteem.
- There is a growing body of science that shows MicroAggression causes physiological stress, which can lead to chronic inflammation in the body. Chronic low-grade inflammation leads to a whole host of illnesses.
- There’s even evidence of brain damage due to prolonged MicroAggression that looks like PTSD on brain scans. Buts it’s not Post Traumatic is it? Not when you live daily with these micro-assaults on your sense of self. We NTs refer to it as Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Disorder (or Syndrome).
This can leave you feeling tired, achy, depressed, and forgetful. There are healthy ways to confront and sidestep these debilitating MicroAggressions. When you create rules of engagement that satisfy your needs and that your Asperger’s partner can use to create systems that compensate for his or her lack of empathy, you can begin to reclaim your personal freedom and help your family to thrive.
If you’ve been putting off getting a copy of Out of Mind – Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD) because you thought it was just for parents with young children, don’t wait another moment. The above information is just a sampling of the science behind Asperger that is explored in the book. If you want to understand your Aspie better, this is a must read.