Category: Events

A free International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Teleconference is only for members of Meetup. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: TELECONFERENCE: How do I stay sane and stop rescuing my “Aspies”?

Tuesday July 16, 2019, 2:00pm-2:30pm PDT

How many times have you given up in exasperation because there seem to be no natural and logical consequences to “nudge” your “Aspie” along to do things correctly and in a timely manner? Such as to get the taxes filed, or get your child to the dentist when you are out of town?

You’ve tried plenty. You’ve made color coded paper schedules. You’ve taped messages to the bathroom mirror. You’ve coded reminders into your “Aspie’s” phone. You’ve even enlisted the kids and your friends to remind your spouse. In other words you have run yourself ragged trying to keep up.

And you’re angry about this too. Why is it your job to get everything organized and done on time. Where’s the negative incentive (i.e. those natural and logical consequences) that we respond to, but they don’t?

You can’t just stop life and get off the merry-go-round. But you need a better plan than this. That’s what we’ll talk about on this summer call. How to reorganize your thinking, not just the household.

Please come to the call with a private place to listen and chat. This call is only for Meetup members. To register go to https://www.meetup.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Partners-Family-of-Adults-with-ASD/

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: “Aspie” One-Way Empathy Isn’t Empathy

Thursday July 11, 2019 2:30pm-3:30pm PDT

Occasionally I am scolded by an “Aspie” telling me that they do indeed have empathy. They feel hurt and offended that I would suggest otherwise. Rarely an NT will tell me the same because they are aware of how sensitive their “Aspie” is. But sensitivity is not empathy, any more than words alone convey meaning, or paint on a canvas is a work of art.Empathy is a two way street. If you have empathy you are aware of the heart and mind of the other, at the same time you are aware of your own heart and mind. You weigh the differences between the two of you, using your intuition in deciding when to speak, what to challenge, or when to be supportive. You are respectful of the other person because to be otherwise would break rapport. And without rapport, there is no relationship.On the other hand our “Aspies” may have a kind of one-way empathy. They may know what is in their own heart and mind, but can’t fathom what is in ours. And they don’t ask. They may get their feelings hurt, become enraged over a misunderstanding, or try to persuade us to their point of view. But this is not true empathy. If it were, we wouldn’t feel bullied would we?The purpose of this call is to clear up this misunderstanding and to find a language for speaking to those without empathy (what I call EmD-0) about the difference between One-Way Empathy and True Empathy.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: “Aspie” One-Way Empathy Isn’t Empathy

Thursday July 9, 2019 7:30pm-8:30pm PDT

Occasionally I am scolded by an “Aspie” telling me that they do indeed have empathy. They feel hurt and offended that I would suggest otherwise. Rarely an NT will tell me the same because they are aware of how sensitive their “Aspie” is. But sensitivity is not empathy, any more than words alone convey meaning, or paint on a canvas is a work of art.Empathy is a two way street. If you have empathy you are aware of the heart and mind of the other, at the same time you are aware of your own heart and mind. You weigh the differences between the two of you, using your intuition in deciding when to speak, what to challenge, or when to be supportive. You are respectful of the other person because to be otherwise would break rapport. And without rapport, there is no relationship.On the other hand our “Aspies” may have a kind of one-way empathy. They may know what is in their own heart and mind, but can’t fathom what is in ours. And they don’t ask. They may get their feelings hurt, become enraged over a misunderstanding, or try to persuade us to their point of view. But this is not true empathy. If it were, we wouldn’t feel bullied would we?The purpose of this call is to clear up this misunderstanding and to find a language for speaking to those without empathy (what I call EmD-0) about the difference between One-Way Empathy and True Empathy.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: “Aspie” One-Way Empathy Isn’t Empathy

Thursday July 2, 2019 10:00am-11:00am PDT

Occasionally I am scolded by an “Aspie” telling me that they do indeed have empathy. They feel hurt and offended that I would suggest otherwise. Rarely an NT will tell me the same because they are aware of how sensitive their “Aspie” is. But sensitivity is not empathy, any more than words alone convey meaning, or paint on a canvas is a work of art.Empathy is a two way street. If you have empathy you are aware of the heart and mind of the other, at the same time you are aware of your own heart and mind. You weigh the differences between the two of you, using your intuition in deciding when to speak, what to challenge, or when to be supportive. You are respectful of the other person because to be otherwise would break rapport. And without rapport, there is no relationship.On the other hand our “Aspies” may have a kind of one-way empathy. They may know what is in their own heart and mind, but can’t fathom what is in ours. And they don’t ask. They may get their feelings hurt, become enraged over a misunderstanding, or try to persuade us to their point of view. But this is not true empathy. If it were, we wouldn’t feel bullied would we?The purpose of this call is to clear up this misunderstanding and to find a language for speaking to those without empathy (what I call EmD-0) about the difference between One-Way Empathy and True Empathy.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the Meetup group, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD.
Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why is everything a bottom-line transaction for “Aspies”?

Thursday June 27, 2019, 7:30-8:30pm PDT

VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why is everything a bottom-line transaction for “Aspies”?

Without empathy (EmD-0) your “Aspie” thinks conversation is about facts only, or what I call factoids. Whereas we NTs always consider the person first, and facts second. We want to make sure the person we are talking WITH is “with us.” “Aspies” don’t really include your feelings or opinions in the mix. For them, it’s a matter of making a point, or getting to the bottom line, or winning.

This is not to say that they don’t love you, or want the best for you, but honestly they don’t really understand the nuances of conversation the way we do. For them, every conversation is transactional. What’s the point otherwise. For us, the point is to connect first, get to the bottom line second. It’s interactional.

It’s unnerving and demoralizing isn’t it? “You just want to be heard and understood. Your “Aspie” wants to solve the problem, get on with it, and they push past our feelings to accomplish the task.

This is a vital topic to help you navigate this imponderable world of ASD/NT relationships. Hope you join us.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

 

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the Meetup group, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD.
Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why is everything a bottom-line transaction for “Aspies”?

Tuesday June 25, 2019, 4:00-5:00pm PDT

VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why is everything a bottom-line transaction for “Aspies”?

Without empathy (EmD-0) your “Aspie” thinks conversation is about facts only, or what I call factoids. Whereas we NTs always consider the person first, and facts second. We want to make sure the person we are talking WITH is “with us.” “Aspies” don’t really include your feelings or opinions in the mix. For them, it’s a matter of making a point, or getting to the bottom line, or winning.

This is not to say that they don’t love you, or want the best for you, but honestly they don’t really understand the nuances of conversation the way we do. For them, every conversation is transactional. What’s the point otherwise. For us, the point is to connect first, get to the bottom line second. It’s interactional.

It’s unnerving and demoralizing isn’t it? “You just want to be heard and understood. Your “Aspie” wants to solve the problem, get on with it, and they push past our feelings to accomplish the task.

This is a vital topic to help you navigate this imponderable world of ASD/NT relationships. Hope you join us.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.