Category: Events

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why Do “Aspies” Always Say No?

Thursday, August 8, 2019 2:00 PM to 3:00 PM PDT

Why Do “Aspies” Always Say No? This question is a perennial one for this group. It’s not so much “Why” but how to get around the negative response?

Our “Aspies” say “NO!” out of habit. Since they struggle to follow your line of reasoning they say “NO!” to cut to the bottom line. They say “NO!” to buy themselves some time, to figure out what you are asking or telling them. They say”NO!” because it is comforting to be in charge when so much of their interpersonal life they do not feel in charge. And I am sure our members can explain many other reasons their “Aspies” say “NO!”

The real question is how to get around their reflexive action to put us off, and shut us down? Boy do we have to be patient to do that! Remember, if you are persistent and patient and unwilling to give up, your “Aspie” may come to trust you enough to agree to something, even if they have no idea what you are talking about. Of course, then we have to find a way to cope with the eye rolling and the criticism that “You always get your way.”

In this video conference, we take another look at this primitive mechanism of saying “NO!” In addition to methods for getting around their penchant for saying “NO!” let’s also discuss how to keep our sanity, when all we are trying to do is create a win-win for our relationships.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

 

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why Do “Aspies” Always Say No?

Tuesday, August 6, 2019 10:00 AM to 11:00 AM PDT

Why Do “Aspies” Always Say No? This question is a perennial one for this group. It’s not so much “Why” but how to get around the negative response?

Our “Aspies” say “NO!” out of habit. Since they struggle to follow your line of reasoning they say “NO!” to cut to the bottom line. They say “NO!” to buy themselves some time, to figure out what you are asking or telling them. They say”NO!” because it is comforting to be in charge when so much of their interpersonal life they do not feel in charge. And I am sure our members can explain many other reasons their “Aspies” say “NO!”

The real question is how to get around their reflexive action to put us off, and shut us down? Boy do we have to be patient to do that! Remember, if you are persistent and patient and unwilling to give up, your “Aspie” may come to trust you enough to agree to something, even if they have no idea what you are talking about. Of course, then we have to find a way to cope with the eye rolling and the criticism that “You always get your way.”

In this video conference, we take another look at this primitive mechanism of saying “NO!” In addition to methods for getting around their penchant for saying “NO!” let’s also discuss how to keep our sanity, when all we are trying to do is create a win-win for our relationships.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: Empathy Explains it All

July 31, 2019 – 3:00pm-4:00pm  Pacific Time

Empathy explains it all. It took me years to comprehend that nearly all of the problems I experienced in my relationships with my “Aspie” loved ones could be explained by Empathy Dysfunction (EmD). Once I got it that they were not using empathy to understand the world and the people around them, I was able to navigate the gummed up communications among us.

“Aspies” have Zero Degrees of Empathy (EmD-0) so their reality is built from a different set of mapping tools. While we run everything through our understanding of others in relationship to ourselves, they run everything through a fantastic list of “factoids.” How often have you heard your “Asperger” partner tell you that they “heard every word”? Maybe, but did they really process the meaning?

Empathy helps shape the meaning of communication, the meaning of our relationships, the meaning of the choices we NTs make. For an “Aspie” there may be no meaning, if the facts don’t add up.

I often use the expression: “The whole is more than the sum of the parts.” While we NTs are shaping meaning with our empathic thoughts, words and actions, the “Aspie” is tallying the parts.

Let’s use this video conference call to learn more about a reality shaped without empathy. Once you see the world through the eyes of an “Aspie,” you stand a better chance of taking charge of your life, not just the problem.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: Empathy Explains it All

July 25, 2019 – 7:30pm-8:30pm Pacific Time

Empathy explains it all. It took me years to comprehend that nearly all of the problems I experienced in my relationships with my “Aspie” loved ones could be explained by Empathy Dysfunction (EmD). Once I got it that they were not using empathy to understand the world and the people around them, I was able to navigate the gummed up communications among us.

“Aspies” have Zero Degrees of Empathy (EmD-0) so their reality is built from a different set of mapping tools. While we run everything through our understanding of others in relationship to ourselves, they run everything through a fantastic list of “factoids.” How often have you heard your “Asperger” partner tell you that they “heard every word”? Maybe, but did they really process the meaning?

Empathy helps shape the meaning of communication, the meaning of our relationships, the meaning of the choices we NTs make. For an “Aspie” there may be no meaning, if the facts don’t add up.

I often use the expression: “The whole is more than the sum of the parts.” While we NTs are shaping meaning with our empathic thoughts, words and actions, the “Aspie” is tallying the parts.

Let’s use this video conference call to learn more about a reality shaped without empathy. Once you see the world through the eyes of an “Aspie,” you stand a better chance of taking charge of your life, not just the problem.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: Empathy Explains it All

July 23, 2019 – 10:00am to 11:00am Pacific Time

Empathy explains it all. It took me years to comprehend that nearly all of the problems I experienced in my relationships with my “Aspie” loved ones could be explained by Empathy Dysfunction (EmD). Once I got it that they were not using empathy to understand the world and the people around them, I was able to navigate the gummed up communications among us.

“Aspies” have Zero Degrees of Empathy (EmD-0) so their reality is built from a different set of mapping tools. While we run everything through our understanding of others in relationship to ourselves, they run everything through a fantastic list of “factoids.” How often have you heard your “Asperger” partner tell you that they “heard every word”? Maybe, but did they really process the meaning?

Empathy helps shape the meaning of communication, the meaning of our relationships, the meaning of the choices we NTs make. For an “Aspie” there may be no meaning, if the facts don’t add up.

I often use the expression: “The whole is more than the sum of the parts.” While we NTs are shaping meaning with our empathic thoughts, words and actions, the “Aspie” is tallying the parts.

Let’s use this video conference call to learn more about a reality shaped without empathy. Once you see the world through the eyes of an “Aspie,” you stand a better chance of taking charge of your life, not just the problem.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Teleconference is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: TELECONFERENCE: Empathy “Asperger” Style

Thursday July 18, 2019, 10:00-11:30 am PDT

Many of our “Aspies” believe they have empathy for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we think so too. By the very definition of Autism Spectrum Disorder, “Aspies” do not have empathy. They may be sensitive. They may be kind. They may care about our welfare. But empathy is more than that.

Empathy involves a reciprocal interaction. It is an ongoing process of communication that makes you feel understood. If you are able to understand your feelings and thoughts and speak about them to another person — and you speak to them in words they understand — and you recognize the thoughts and feelings of the other person — and they are able to tell you what their thoughts and feelings are in your language — and you both work toward a mutual understanding and caring — this is empathy.

For example, an orchestra is more than notes on a page. It is composed of the synergy of the composer/score, the musicians, the conductor, the concert hall and the audience. You may love to listen to recorded concerts, but the thrill of the live experience is greater.  Empathy is like this.

Empathy for our “Aspies” is caring, compassion, love, kindness, etc. but it is often out of step with empathy. This disconnect with the empathic process is what feels jarring to NTs. Speaking in a loud tone, or interrupting us at an inopportune moment, or failing to tells us what’s on the “Aspie’s,” mind — are all examples of Empathy – “Asperger” Style.

This conference call is a chance to get more clarification on this important topic. More importantly we will also talk about how to communicate with our “Aspies” when they really don’t use empathy at all.