A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.
Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: “Aspie” One-Way Empathy Isn’t Empathy
Thursday July 11, 2019 2:30pm-3:30pm PDT
Occasionally I am scolded by an “Aspie” telling me that they do indeed have empathy. They feel hurt and offended that I would suggest otherwise. Rarely an NT will tell me the same because they are aware of how sensitive their “Aspie” is. But sensitivity is not empathy, any more than words alone convey meaning, or paint on a canvas is a work of art.Empathy is a two way street. If you have empathy you are aware of the heart and mind of the other, at the same time you are aware of your own heart and mind. You weigh the differences between the two of you, using your intuition in deciding when to speak, what to challenge, or when to be supportive. You are respectful of the other person because to be otherwise would break rapport. And without rapport, there is no relationship.On the other hand our “Aspies” may have a kind of one-way empathy. They may know what is in their own heart and mind, but can’t fathom what is in ours. And they don’t ask. They may get their feelings hurt, become enraged over a misunderstanding, or try to persuade us to their point of view. But this is not true empathy. If it were, we wouldn’t feel bullied would we?The purpose of this call is to clear up this misunderstanding and to find a language for speaking to those without empathy (what I call EmD-0) about the difference between One-Way Empathy and True Empathy.
All event times are posted in Pacific time.