Category: Blog Posts

Any marriage is subject to ups and downs due to human nature in general and the individual partners, in particular. When Asperger Syndrome is part of the mix, the challenges easily mount. This is not to say that the Aspie partner is to blame or is at “fault.” However, given that the core characteristics of Asperger Syndrome relate to communication, emotions, perspective taking and sensory issues, the very components upon which relationships are built, it is no wonder that misunderstanding and frustration often crop up in these relationships.

After years of adapting to your Aspie loved ones, many Neuro-Typicals feel “Aspergated” or as if they have one foot in the NT world and one foot in the ASD world. . . not quite fitting into either. Do you relate to this following scenario?

Little by little you lose contact with your friends as you retreat into your spouse’s Asperger comfort zone. You quit going out to dinner and you quit inviting people over, because you’re Aspie partner complains, so it’s just easier to disappear. And because your social needs aren’t being met, the only way you know how to cope is to “shut down”, pretending that it doesn’t matter. Sure you don’t give up without a fight, but the efforts to fix the situation seem to be pointless.

As a result, your evenings find you in one room watching TV or playing with the children, while your husband is glued to the TV in the den watching his programs. If you don’t start connecting with someone soon, you’re going to go crazy with resentment. But it’s been so long since you put yourself out there that it feels awkward, clumsy and so lonely. You feel like you just don’t fit in anywhere. Does this sound all too familiar?

Are you feeling like a misfit? Fortunately we have the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with AS group, whose members provide the deepest of understanding and caring. But where else can you go for this kind of support? Join us on March 21, 2015 1:00pm for our next local meetup in Portland, OR. Can’t be there? Then join the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with AS international teleconference on Friday, March 27, 2015 at 2:30pm PDT. Let’s talk about how we can find this support or at the very least how to protect ourselves from the ravages of loneliness.

And if you haven’t purchased your copy of my books on how to nurture Asperger Relationships so that they thrive, here are links with more information:

Out of Mind – Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome

Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge?

Read more on my website: Asperger Relationships.

“He makes me so happy!” Or “She makes me soooo mad!”

Have you ever heard someone say something like that? Have you said it yourself? Of course, our emotions are affected by those around us. However, when you really think about this…can someone make you feel a certain way? If that’s the case, wouldn’t we in reality be saying we have little control over our emotions?

Wouldn’t it be better to create an inner joy, that no matter what’s happening around you, you could draw from this resource to maintain happiness and peace? Yet, many ask, “How can an inner joy like that be developed?

Let’s first answer the question: Is there any truth in the statement, “Fake it till you make it?” According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, “Simulation studies on emotion have shown that facial actions can initiate and modulate particular emotions.” What does that mean? Even if you don’t feel like smiling, when you paste a smile on your face and hold it, this will change the way that you’re feeling emotionally.

Their study also showed that specific areas of the brain were activated by facial manipulation – “the inferior parietal lobule, left supplementary motor area, superior parietal lobule, precuneus, and bilateral middle cingulum – which influenced the recognition of emotional facial expressions”. So yes, it’s true. Smile and you will become happier.

The same institution found that we are hardwired to respond to emotional cues from others. When we become aware of this, we can consciously choose how we’ll react to situations that we’re confronted with daily. At the same time, we become more aware of how our emotions affect others. In this way, we can intentionally create a positive shift in all of our relationships.

Are you ready to reclaim the power that inner joy can give you? A NET Practitioner can help you learn to control your responses to the emotional triggers in your life. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment today.

Read more on my website: What Is a NET Practitioner? and How Does Neuro Emotional Technique Work?

Every year since 1991 the National Sleep Foundation (a charitable, educational and scientific not-for-profit organization located in Washington, D.C) has surveyed America’s sleep behavior and has used the information to promote greater awareness and education about the importance of sleep with their Sleep Awareness Week™. This year it falls on March 2-8, 2015, culminating with the change to Daylight Saving Time on March 8th.

Their recent press release reveals that pain is a significant factor in sleeplessness. They report, “21 percent of Americans experience chronic pain and 36 percent have had acute pain in the past week.” That’s over half of the U.S. population! It also found that stress and poor health are contributing factors to poor sleep patterns.

Why is loss of sleep so critical? Because the following activities, to name just a few, are impacted…

• Job performance.
• Mood.
• Concentration.
• Relationships.
• Quality of life.
• Overall health.

What do they recommend? “Make sleep a priority.” Just getting 15 more minutes of sleep every night will improve your overall health. David Cloud, CEO of the National Sleep Foundation, says, “Taking control of your sleep by being motivated, setting a routine bedtime and creating a supportive sleep environment are relevant even for those with pain. Sleep is a key marker of health, and good sleep habits are critical for improving the quality of life of those living with chronic or acute pain.”

Is stress and pain keeping you awake at night? If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment to discover new ways of coping.

Learn more: Enter the word SLEEP in the search box to the right to find more articles about the importance of sleep.

Imagine what it would be like to feel more cheerful…to think more clearly…to have a better memory…

Who of us wouldn’t like that? If there was a magic pill that you could take once a day that guaranteed those results, wouldn’t you take it? If only it was that easy! Since you’re willing to DO something to improve your brain health, what realistically can you do?

Here are seven proven tips to improve the health of your brain:

Do you associate snoring with heart disease? Should you? A recent CNN article 

shows us why there is a very real link between snoring and serious health concerns such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart disease. Here are some highlights from the article…

What causes snoring? It occurs when something is obstructing the airway. Often it’s because the muscles in the roof of the mouth or the back of the throat relax and partially block the airflow. Some of the common factors are:

• Sleeping on your back
• Drinking alcohol before bedtime
• Suffering from allergies or a cold
• Being overweight
• Having an enlarged uvula – the tissue hanging at the back of your mouth

Sleep apnea becomes a problem because you’re brain and heart aren’t getting enough oxygen to function properly. According to the article, between 5% and 15% of middle-aged adults probably suffer from sleep apnea. Apnea refers to episode where the signal is sent to the brain to force a gasp because the breathing has stopped. These on-off oxygen levels are causing stress and damage to your body cells. Your brain should be resting and restoring itself, instead it’s forced into high-alert because of the sleep apnea. This disrupts your deep sleep, causing exhaustion and a host of other health issues.

The good news is that sleep apnea is very treatable. Lifestyle changes, such as losing weight or sleeping on your side, may be helpful. Another possibility is using a CPAP machine. You should discuss with your own doctor the best solution for you.

Sleep therapy can effectively help treat mood disorders, anxiety and depression. Do you want to explore positive and lasting ways to optimize your health? Have you been struggling with weight loss? Poor sleep patterns? Perhaps it’s time to get help from a NET practitioner who focuses on holistic health solutions. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Have you heard about the young woman who was held captive and starved to death? We are horrified by this brutal and inhumane treatment. And no, I’m not referring to any one woman in particular. I’m talking about the thousands of beautiful young women and men in our communities here in Oregon and Washington who are punishing themselves with this cruel behavior! Across the nation there are millions of people who are afflicted with insidious eating disorders. The exact number is impossible to ascertain because this problem is surrounded by secrecy and shame.

Eating Disorders take many shapes. Most of them are connected to poor body or self-image and feelings of being out of control, guilty and ashamed. The good news is – they are treatable. February is Eating Disorder Awareness month, so let’s become more aware of the following eating disorders:

Anorexia nervosa – Because people have an intense fear of being fat, even when they’re not, they starve and exercise themselves to death.

Bulimia nervosa – People uncontrollably eat a large quantity of food and then purge themselves by vomiting, laxatives, diuretics, or enemas or go on extreme diets and extreme exercise routines. Because they are trying to hide what they’re doing, they may maintain their weight, so there are no easily apparent signs of the eating disorder.

Binge Eating – People make a practice of rapidly consume a large amount of food at one sitting, which leaves them feeling uncomfortably full, ashamed and depressed.

While the following are not officially classified as eating disorders they also need to be addressed.

Binge Drinking – consuming in one incident four or more drinks for females and five or more drinks for males, has been tied to liver damage, brain damage, risky sexual conduct, immune system suppression, dementia and so many more health hazards.

Obesity – affects at least one third of the US population. While there are medical reasons for obesity, there are also psychological reasons such as using it as an excuse not to achieve more, as a way to ward off sexual advances, and more.

Compulsive, emotional eating – may be used as a distraction to cope with stress and anxiety.

Parents, I urge you to eat together as a family, and if you notice a problem with your children, don’t think they’ll “outgrow this phase”. The longer this behavior goes untreated the more deeply ingrained it becomes. The sooner it’s treated the better the chances are for recovery.

Therapy is very effective for treating eating disorders as it addresses the complex interaction of social, biological and psychological factors involved. The important thing is get help now. Please contact a mental health professional near you today. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment to get on the road to recovery.