Category: Blog Posts

• Discover your true motivation and drive. Entrepreneurs burn out when they do things for the wrong reasons, such as fame, fortune, or notoriety. Of course everyone needs to make money, and it’s not wrong to want recognition, but if these are your only motives behind your business, you will get pulled off track quickly. Mindfulness guides you back to the greater reasons you started your business. It helps you gain satisfaction from doing things for yourself and for the right reasons. Because of this, you and your business can continue on and grow.

• Develop resilience. You will see how every failure, every bump in the road, is a chance to learn. Instead of becoming frustrated and giving up, you will develop the resilience needed to keep going in spite of problems. You will have an easier time standing back up and dusting yourself off. It helps you continue to get things done, even under very challenging circumstances.

• Make needed changes. Mindfulness helps you challenge your approach to life and business when you reach a roadblock or experience failure. It helps you analyze your problem and determine objectively why you are not obtaining the results you want. The process of mindfulness helps you try different things, even when you are naturally opposed to change.

• Trust your instincts. Entrepreneurs often use their instincts and intuition to make some of the best decisions for their life and business. You need to train yourself to trust your gut. So often entrepreneurs are stressed, pulled at from all directions, get advice and input from numerous sources, to the point that they lose confidence in their own instincts. Practices like mindfulness help you tune into your inner voice and reconnect with your intuition.

• Enjoy the success you have right now. Entrepreneurs set goals and work toward them like no one else, and that’s part of why you are successful! But many entrepreneurs fail to slow down and rejoice in their present successes. Mindfulness helps you to focus on the things that make you feel successful now. This, in turn, will help you create more success.

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  Exercise regularly. Exercise is known to literally change the size of your brain. Regular exercise has been found to boost the size of the hippocampus, the area of the brain that plays an important role in memory and learning. Exercise can double or triple the number of new cells in the hippocampus. These new cells translate to a significantly better ability to learn new things and remember experiences.

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  Eat a variety of healthful foods. What you put in your body has a direct effect on its ability to perform, starting with how your brain functions. Lean protein, whole grains, green leafy veggies, and healthy fats that contain Omega 3 fatty acids are great for your brain.

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  Stay hydrated. Your brain is 85% water, so don’t let yourself get dehydrated. Drink plenty of water. Add a little lemon or some cucumber slices if that will help motivate you to drink more water. Also steer clear of anything that dehydrates you. Alcohol, caffeine, and salt should be consumed in moderation.

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  Get more sleep. Depression, memory issues and poor decision-making skills are directly linked to lack of sleep. While you are sleeping, your brain is working hard to consolidate your memories, link them up with old memories, create new neural pathways that help you retrieve memories, and form connections between thoughts and ideas. It also uses that time to flush toxins out of your brain. So make sure you are getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night, even if you think you are functioning just fine on less.

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  Reduce stress. Easier said than done, I know. But regardless of how difficult it may be to cut stressors out of your life, it is necessary for the health of your brain. Chronic stress kills cells in the memory centers of your brain. Exercise, healthy eating, and sleep all help reduce stress levels. The practice of mindfulness can also help you refocus and recharge. Even just a few minutes of meditation can quiet your mind and reduce stress.

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  Exercise your brain. Learn a new language, learn how to dance, or just try brushing your teeth with your less dominant hand. Learning new things helps develop new neural pathways in your brain.

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  Consider brain-training activities. The idea is that by performing certain tasks like crossword puzzles and memory games, you can improve your cognitive abilities such as memory and attention. While researchers in the field have mixed feelings about the benefits of brain-training, studies indicate that learning and thinking of any type can improve the survival and function of young brain cells.

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  Be positive. Studies have found that focusing on negative thoughts changes the brain – when thinking negatively, creativity, learning and imagination all go down. Focusing on positive, hopeful thoughts, on the other hand, changes the brain in a good way. If you struggle with positive thinking, try this: keep a gratitude journal. Write down the good things you have in your life, from big to small.

• Create and enforce boundaries. It is absolutely vital that children learn to establish and enforce personal boundaries. They must learn that no matter how much power or influence the person asking has, they have the right to control what they do and allow others to do to them. Children must learn to stand up for themselves, even in the face of powerful people. Also teach them to respect other people’s physical and emotional boundaries.
• Discuss and deconstruct gender roles and biases. There is nothing wrong with boys playing with trucks and girls dressing up like a princess. But make sure your kids know that they don’t have to fit into a certain box based on their gender. They can’t expect other kids to act a certain way or prefer certain things based on their gender, either.
• Engage young people in meaningful discussions. Sexual harassment sadly begins early. Students experience it, and those who don’t, will hear about it on the news and through social media. Educators should engage their classes in conversations on the topic. Ask students questions, let them express themselves. This helps young people see that sexual harassment is not a taboo subject. It is something that can and should be discussed openly.
• Teach young people to be each other’s allies, not just bystanders. Help the children in your life learn how to act as allies and support their peers when they see something. Teach them “ally behavior” – supporting the victim by saying something in the moment to try to stop the situation or telling a trusted adult about what happened.
• Show them they are not alone. It is well known that someone is more willing to report a crime or challenge authority, if at least one other person joins her. So communicate with your children and make sure they know they have someone in their corner. School administrators and counsellors can create a culture in which students feel comfortable reporting problems by being approachable and showing empathy when students come forward.

It’s good to periodically think about the daily decisions we make. Of course, habits are good in that they save us a lot of time and mental effort. But we can get into a rut that makes life seem dull and stale. Trying something new will expand your world.

True, it may be painful and may cost you something if you don’t like it. On the other hand, it may turn out to be your new favorite thing. If you never experiment, you’ll never know.

Overconfidence and preconceived ideas may be holding you back from trying something new. You might imagine it’s one way, but that presumption is nothing more than a guess. It takes humility to acknowledge that there’s no way of knowing every outcome.

Whether you apply this in your personal life or in business, remember that staying with the same old same old is going to stifle innovation, creativity and joy. Of course, if your decision involves another person’s life, you would want to exercise prudence and caution that you aren’t causing any lasting damage to yourself and others.

Are you ready to shake up the status quo?

Try something generic instead of name brand. Drive to work via a different route or use a different mode of transportation, like taking the bus. Pick out one new thing to do every day (it doesn’t have to be big) and see how much it adds to your enjoyment of life, personal growth, and connection with others.

Does the thought of change fill you with dread? If undue anxiety is keeping your from living fully, it’s time to enlist the help of a mental health professional. There are numerous ways to cope with and overcome this type of paralyzing stress and anxiety. Work with a trusted psychologist and find the option that works best for you. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my Jantzen Beach office and schedule an appointment. I also offer online therapy if that works best for you.

I was ever so surprised when people from other states and then other countries started joining, just for the opportunity to share in the online discussions. We have grown to having members all over the world, on every continent. Whatever the language or the culture, we can all relate to the common theme of life with an adult with Asperger Syndrome. Currently we have 2,259 members. But there’s room for more!

What is the mission of this Meetup?

If you’re a Neurotypical Adult with a spouse, partner, sibling, parent or grown child who has Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD), you will soon learn that you’re not alone. We meet in small face-to-face group meetings, and hold international teleconferences, and have intimate video conferences for those who live abroad but want the small group feel.

If you need daily support you can join one of dozens of private, online discussions. You are safe here. Only members can access the discussion boards. You can ask questions and share stories of your day. Not everyone agrees on everything, but our diversity is what creates opportunity to grow and change, and perhaps even take back your life from these very tough ASD relationships.

I hope you’ll join us as we form a community for those of us who have this unique life of being in relationship with an adult on the Autism Spectrum.

Since beginning this group I’ve also written three books, “Going Over the Edge?” “Out of Mind – Out of Sight” and soon to be released “WHEN EMPATHY FAILS: How to stop those hell-bent on destroying you.”

So I have lots to talk about. However, this month I have something special planned for our free international teleconference on January 18th at 2:30PM PT. It’s entitled: Ask Dr. Marshack Anything! I’d like to “share the floor” with those among you who have lots of wisdom because you have lived this life with Aspies. Certainly you can come to the teleconference with your questions, concerns and anecdotes for me, but I also hope to hear from our many members who have been in the trenches a long time.

The reason this group thrives, is that we are there for each other. To know that you are understood and supported and not alone, is incredibly powerful isn’t it?

If you’re not a member yet and you’re a NT living with an Aspie, please feel free to join this Meetup. It’s free to join, and you’ll gain a lot of supportive friends and helpful resources.

When you Google the phrase, “how to keep New Year’s resolutions” you’ll get 4,880,000 results to page through. If you read one of these articles per day, it would take you 13,369 days to go through them all or around 36 years. Obviously, there’s a lot of interest in learning how to keep New Year’s resolutions.However, the success rate is appalling. A recent New York Times article said, “By Jan. 8, some 25 percent of resolutions have fallen by the wayside. And by the time the year ends, fewer than 10 percent have been fully kept.”

Why do people have so much trouble keeping their resolutions?

If you’re busy, tired or stressed, it’s hard to resist temptation. And that describes the American population, doesn’t it? We also have the tendency to be shortsighted and seek instant gratification instead of exercising self-control and willpower.

Many of today’s gurus teach that willpower is the answer. Yet when you rely on willpower, your mind is fighting against itself. That’s not good. Of note, a recent study by the Northwestern University psychologist Greg Miller, found that those using self-control had more success in resisting temptations, but it damaged their health. Stress responses increased and immune cells aged prematurely.

Instead of approaching change from the negative point of view of depriving yourself, a much healthier and more effective tool is tapping into the power of your social emotions.

Emotions like gratitude and compassion support positive aspects of life. These emotions increase the value you place on the future and for others, which naturally helps you show more patience and perseverance.

By putting something else ahead of your own immediate desires and interests, you sacrifice some resources in the moment. However, in exchange, you’ll gain stronger relationships that, in turn, give you support when you need it. And these emotions are healing. They slow your heart rate, lower your blood pressure and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.

It’s our gratitude and compassion for others that spurs us on to keep our New Year’s Resolutions, NOT willpower. According to the research, in the long run we’re motivated by love because love keeps us focused and enjoying our goals. In spite of the short sightedness of those who rise quickly to the top because of rapacious greed, they are always outdone by our love for others. We are stronger together.

If you would like help choosing worthwhile, loving goals for the next year, please schedule an appointment. I offer online therapy so we can meet from the comfort of your own home.