Category: Blog Posts

Even after a difficult divorce, many divorcees eventually remarry. A second marriage can be a success. In order for that to be the case, it is important to recognize that it will be a challenge and you must be willing to put in the work to make it work!

Here are a few things to keep in mind when considering remarriage:

• Prospective remarriage partners should build a relationship slowly, getting to know each other together and as individuals. Listen to family and friends who know who you are. They knew you when you were married before so their impressions are important. 

• Remember to use your second marriage to become a better partner yourself. Usually the opportunity for conflict and disappointment is increased in second marriages because the challenges are greater. So you need to learn to love the complexity. 

• You or your partner might still be grieving over the loss of your prior relationship. Vent your grief as a way to defuse anger. Take a joint exploration of your previous relationships and understand your history. If necessary consider seeking help from a marriage and family therapist.

For more information, visit Marriage Counseling – Maintaining a Strong Marriage. If children will be involved in the remarriage, read How Parents (and Stepparents) Can Help Their Children Adjust to Change.

For a long time, the topic of depression was hush-hush. No one wanted to talk about it. Times have changed. Depression, anxiety, and suicide are finally being exposed to what they really are…a threat! Exposing this threat is liberating and encouraging many to get the help that they so desperately need.

Remember when Catherine Zeta Jones spoke about her battle with Bipolar II disorder? I found her decision to do so courageous. Many other public figures have stepped forward to share their own personal battle with depression. Angelina Jolie, Sheryl Crow, and Patrick Kennedy have all admitted to suffering from depression. CNN’s Kat Kinsman decided to open up about her experience with depression in a revealing article entitled Going Public with Depression. She was diagnosed at age 14 and says therapy and having support from others who have depression was her saving grace.

Ultimately, the decision to share your history of depression is up to you. However, this reaffirms that it’s okay to be open about personal struggles. You never know who you may encourage or inspire to seek help. You should never view depression as a negative label.

For more information on depression, visit Overcoming Depression. Depression is treatable! Speak to a mental health care professional today.

Childhood should be a time of fun, laughter, and a carefree attitude. Sadly, children are being diagnosed with eating disorders and the numbers are skyrocketing. According to the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, hospitalizations for eating disorders for children under the age of 12 from 1999 and 2006 rose a shocking 119%. Children are worried about being fat. What is causing this to happen to children?

There are many possible factors. It can be linked to personality type. Perfectionism, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive tendencies are commonly linked with eating disorders. The media also plays a role. There is an incredible amount of pressure to look a certain way. Children are in tune with what is going on in the world. They can easily pick up on what the media is putting out there. There is also the idea of food being a reward or a punishment. This can lead to an unhealthy view of foods. (To read about a 9 year old girl’s struggle with an eating disorder, read Child Eating Disorders on the Rise on CNN.com.)

I encourage all parents to keep an eye on this fast-growing problem. Is your child losing weight? Is their hair thinning? Have they changed what they eat or how much they eat? The warning signs are there, so don’t delay if you sense a problem.

Seeking out the help of mental health care professional is recommended if your child has an eating disorder. For more information on how to identify eating disorders, read Understanding Eating Disorders.

A key to running a successful business is to have a good working relationship with your employees. This responsibility falls on you as the business owner. When you’re an entrepreneur, you are dependent on your employees to keep your dream alive. The best way to do that is to cultivate a positive, productive, and healthy working environment for you and your employees.

Here are some tips to create a good working relationship with your employees:

Set expectations. When you hire a new employee, it is important to clearly define what is going to be expected of them. How can you expect an employee to perform the way you want if they don’t know what it is you’re looking for? Help them to see why these expectations are important to you and your business.

Commend. Positive feedback is vital when it comes to encouraging your staff. Be on the lookout for opportunities to give sincere commendation. Your employees will feel appreciated which leads to increased productivity. This will also make it easier on you if you need to give counsel. If counsel is tempered with commendation, it won’t be as difficult to take.

Communication. Speak with your staff regularly. Get their feedback and opinions. They are at the forefront of your business and are usually in the best position to know what is really going on. Don’t just encourage them to talk to you make sure you talk openly with them. Think about what you know about the business and share it with them.

Respect. Treat your staff the way you would want to be treated – as a capable adult. If they feel respected, you will too.

Building a good relationship with your staff takes time and effort, but it will be well worth it! For more information, visit Entrepreneurial Life to learn more.

There has been plenty of controversy surrounding possible causes of autism and other disorders like schizophrenia. The New York Times Online posted a particularly newsworthy article about the link between these disorders and a father’s age.

The study shows that genetic mutations are higher later in life. A child born to a male in their 20’s had an average of 25 mutations. The mutations grew 2 per year. A male in their 40’s had an average of 65 random mutations. Mothers showed a steady rate of 15 mutations regardless of age. Experts are saying that maybe 20-30% of these mutations may be linked to autism and schizophrenia.

Experts also say that this information may change when someone chooses to have children, but shouldn’t be a reason to not have children later in life. Of course, there are other possible factors that could cause these disorders in children. For more information on the study, read Father’s Age Linked to Autism and Schizophrenia.

If your child has been diagnosed with autism or schizophrenia, psychotherapy can help. Contact my office to set up an appointment if you live in the Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington area.

Money is one the top reasons why arguing couples seek psychotherapy. One reason is because money is always on our minds. No matter how much money you have, you always have money problems.

Financial problems are really just the tip of the iceberg for couples, concealing deeper, hidden issues. In spite of the power that money has to entangle our personal relationships, few couples seek out psychotherapy when they have a financial crisis. Instead, couples continue to use money in a power struggle with their loved ones. Money is given, then taken away. Money is used to reward and punish. Money is a promise, a bribe, a threat. Rarely is money given as a gift with no strings attached. Can you see the problem?

If you are to truly free yourself of the money trap, you will need to assess your money beliefs, and be honest about your biases and manipulations with regard to money. You need to acknowledge just how important money is to you. You will need to evaluate your financial values and goals and make sure that they are ethical and compassionate when it comes to your marriage and family.

A therapist is fully equipped to help couples faced with this situation. For more information, visit Marriage Counseling or contact my office to set up an appointment.