Category: Blog Posts

Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD Support Group was a dream that I had for a long time and it became a reality in 2009. We currently have 474 online members including many from other countries. Our monthly support group meetings are going strong as well as our online message board discussion groups. The stories that pour in are amazing. They are from real people, living a real life as family or partners of an adult with Asperger Syndrome. 
  

Members online have been sharing resources that they have personally found helpful in regard to being in a relationship with an Aspie. I have decided to share these recommendations through my blog. Who better else to share what works than those who are dealing with it day in and day out?
  

I have compiled a few of the recommended resources to share:
  

Books

Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work by Katrin Bentley
  

No Team Player by Judith Newton
  

The Asperger Couples Workbook: Practical Advice and Activities for Couples and Counselors by Maxine Aston
  

Websites
  

  

Prosper with Aspergers: Autism Facts and Solutions
  

The Neurotypical Site
  

If you have any recommendations for books, websites, and other Asperger resources, become a member of the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD online support group. I will continue to post these recommendations regularly on my blog. Thank you for your continued support. 
 

If you live in the Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington area, please join us in person on January 19, 2013 for a discussion on this topic – Should I give up?
  

Click here to read additional Asperger Syndrome Recommended Links

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 12.5 million children between the ages 2-19 are obese. If you are a parent, these number are frightening. Childhood obesity is linked to diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and emotional pain. 
 

How can a parent help a child ward off obesity? Here are a few simple tips:

Make it a family affair. Even if the rest of the family is healthy, all family members must be on board. If the child feels isolated and is the only one who has to exercise or eat differently, it will only add to their low self-esteem. Talk about “family goals” and how to implement them. This includes diet and exercise. 
  

  

Associate food with fuel. Teach your child that food is fuel for their body. The better they eat, the better their bodies will work and they will be able to do more fun things. 

Make if fun! Changing a lifestyle into a healthier one isn’t always easy or fun to say the least, but in order for it to resonate with children, it must be fun. Can you make exercise into a game? 

Give choices. It’s easy to start patrolling your child’s food or exercise choices. Give your child some measure of freedom. You can do this by giving them choices. For example, they need to exercise. Ask them if they would like to go for a walk or ride their bike. Exercise is not an option, but what they do for exercise can be. 

Do you feel stress this time of year? If you do, you are far from alone. Often times people do not acknowledge that this time of year is stressful. Financial strain, family tension, poor diet, darker days, and missing loved ones are all factors that contribute to stress.

What causes you stress? The first step to resolving or lessening of stress is identifying the triggers. For example, are you anxious about seeing a relative that you have had conflict with? Are you worried about racking up credit card debt?

When you have identified what is causing you added stress, ask yourself: What can I do to resolve it? Ignoring the problem is not the solution. Tackle the issue. If it involves another person, then do what is in your power to fix it. Even if nothing changes, you can change your attitude and the way you look at things.

Remember to also take time for yourself. Self-care is not selfish. It is vital for your well-being. Whether it is taking a bath, reading a good book, going for a walk, or even making an appointment to see a mental health care professional, do whatever you need to do to get back on track and handle your stress. By taking care of yourself, you will enjoy your time with family and friends and they will enjoy your company as well.

For more information, visit Managing Stress.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is making changes to the criteria that psychiatrists use to diagnosis mental disorders. The DSM-IV edition uses Classic Autism, Asperger Syndrome, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder as diagnoses.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, the “criteria will incorporate several diagnoses from DSM-IV including Autistic Disorder, Asperger’s Disorder, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (not otherwise specified) into the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder for DSM-5 to help more accurately and consistently diagnose children with autism.” If an individual would have previously been diagnosed as having Asperger Syndrome, they would now be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The American Psychiatric Associate board of trustees has approved the changes and they will go into effect on May 2013. (For more information, read Psychiatric Association Approves Changes to Diagnostic Manual)

These new revisions will impact the lives of many. Regardless of the diagnosis, Asperger Syndrome does not disappear. However, many Aspies and their loved ones are worried by this adjustment. Since they do not view themselves as autistic, they feel like it would label them as something different than they are. This revision has the potential to impact their future especially since Asperger’s has recently been accepted and understood on a greater level.

For more information on Asperger Syndrome, visit Frequently Asked Questions.

Is your child highly tech-savvy and between the age of 8 – 18? According to a new article on CNN.com this makes him/her a member of “Generation M2”. A 2010 Neilsen survey estimates that the average teenager sends an astonishing 3,400 texts a month – or more than 100 a day!
  

Concerned parents want to know if all this time using technology, especially on social media, is healthy. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ has the same concerns. Their council on communications and media led a panel called “Social Media: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” at their last annual conference. Chairman-elect, Dr. David Hill, stated, “As pediatricians who are trying to help children behave in ways that keep them healthy and safe, we have to pay a lot of attention to what’s happening in social media.”
  

 There are two main concerns that parents need to monitor when it comes to their child’s behavior on social media.

  

The first concern is too much time being drained away from other activities. 

Statistics from the Kaiser Family Foundation show youth spending close to eight hours daily in front of various electronic screens. This can take time away from more important activities like sleeping, homework, exercise and family time. Parents need to set limits on the amount of time their kids spend online, on their phones and playing video games.

 

The second concern is inappropriate behavior such as bullying, sexting and revealing private information.  

The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages parents to monitor their children closely, especially during early adolescence. According to Dr. Hill, ”It’s fair to say at any given moment, ‘I can look at your computer; I can look at your phone’.”  Older adolescents need regular communication about what is acceptable and what isn’t. They also need to be made aware of the long-term negative consequences of posting something inappropriate online.

 

Parents, talk to your children about the positive and negative impact technology and social media can have on their lives. Explain to them the dangers that are involved. If your teen seems withdrawn or depressed, seek the assistance of a mental health care professional. Visit Am I a Good Parent for five key areas to master to be a good parent. These steps will help you deal with many challenges that may arise when you’re a parent.

Women in family businesses are often the backbone of the organization. Whether she’s the founder, a founding partner, a supportive spouse or daughter, or an employee of the family enterprise, a woman often is willing to do work that others feel is beneath them because she recognizes the greater good. Research has shown that when a man starts a business, he usually can count on his wife’s unpaid labor during those lean start-up years. Women entrepreneurs, on the other hand, realize that they must go it alone if their businesses are to succeed. They too use the services of family and friends in those early years, but often their husbands don’t offer unpaid help with such menial chores as housework, child care or envelope stuffing.
  

As a stakeholder or a stockholder, a family business woman should be accorded compensation, benefits and perks befitting her considerable contributions to the health of the family and the enterprise. There are two ways to accomplish this. First, the business owners should re-evaluate their standards and update stock, compensation and benefits plans for female employees. Second, they should implement programs to encourage the talent development of the girls in the family.
  

Here are some suggestions:

1. Develop flexible compensation plans that reward women for their hard work and talent even if they work part-time or take a leave of absence.
2. Institute stock purchase plans for part-timers.
3. Evaluate voting rights. Is it absolutely necessary to be a partner or a full-time worker to have a vote?
4. Don’t ever pay the women according to what they would earn at another company. Pay them for their value to your family business. Obviously, a wife or mother is worth much more as your advocate than she would be paid as a bookkeeper in a non-family company.
5. Pay for child care, and encourage the family business women and men to take advantage of the opportunity. Better yet, set up on-site child-care centers so that family business women will not conflicted about leaving their children to go to work.
6. Set up a system to mentor the girls in the family. Often young women don’t even consider joining the family business, because they see the handwriting on the wall (i.e., the guys have sewn up all the good jobs). Arrange apprenticeships for the girls so they can learn first-hand about opportunities at your family firm.
7. Offer scholarships to girls who are willing to study business in college or major in an area applicable to your family business.
8. Don’t restrict scholarships to college. Offer start-up capital to young women who want to set up their own businesses if they write a good business plan.

Many family business owners mean well but just haven’t taken the time to delve into this problem. But if compensation and other recognition aren’t handled fairly for family business women, the enterprise will suffer from relationship disharmony as well as a “brain drain.” For the health and future success of the family business, these problems need correcting immediately.