Author: Kathy Marshack

Is bickering all too
common in your household? Granted, conflicts will arise in a marriage, but it
is important to get bickering under control. If you don’t, then you could be
heading down the road to divorce. It may be difficult at first to change the
way you handle these types of conflict. It is important to remember that effort
is required!

Here are a few tips to resolve bickering:

1. Remember that the differences between the two of you are probably some
of the reasons that made you fall in love with each other.
You probably didn’t focus at the time on everything that you didn’t like
about your new love. In fact, you may have never noticed anything that big, but
instead viewed those differences as thrilling. But over time, the differences
between the two of you surface more and more often. One way to get past the
bickering is to remind yourself that you love and admire this person. Focus on
those qualities, not the behavior that annoys you.

2. Keep in mind that people change.
Our basic personalities probably don’t change that much, but how we apply
our personalities to the experiences in life does shape and define us. Your
spouse may be showing you a side of him or herself that you never knew existed.
Be careful not to resist this new information because it is different. Give
yourself time to adjust to the change. Talk about it with your spouse. Change
may be painful, but it is the very nature of living things to change.

3. Spend quality time together.
In this day and age, it is easy to be all consumed with work and leave
little time with your spouse. Think about it. If you are bickering with your
spouse, could it be because you have had no quality time lately? Or could it be
because you are sleep-deprived? Or could it be that it’s been a long time since
you laughed? Take the time to set your priorities and follow them. There will always
be another phone call to answer and another deadline to meet that will draw you
away from balancing your priorities. But you don’t get that many chances to
restore a faltering relationship.

If you find that you cannot get your bickering under control, it may be time to
seek the help from a marriage counselor. There may be other underlying problems
that need to be dealt with. Click here
for more information about Marriage Counseling. If you’re an
“entrepreneurial couple” you can get specific communication advice in my book – Entrepreneurial
Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home.

Most of us are aware
of the many benefits of exercise for ourselves and our children. New research
is uncovering an additional benefit to having a physically active child.
According to a study performed at the University of Illinois, children
who are more physically fit have a better memory than children who are not fit.
(The study focused on children between the ages of 9 and 10.) By using an MRI,
researchers measured the hippocampus, which is an area in the brain known for
memory and learning. The physically fit children had a larger hippocampus and
did better on tests relating to relational memory. For a more details on this
study, read – Children’s
Brain Development Is Linked to Physical Fitness, Research Finds.

It is important for parents to help keep their children healthy and active.
It’s definitely not always easy, but the benefits are well worth it. Here are a
few tips to help you get your children back in shape:

1. Be a good example. If you want your children to be active, then so
should you. Children learn more from example than just hearing your words.

2. Set a limit on television, internet, and video games. Have times
during the day where the whole family unplugs. Active games like Wi™ are fun
and can be good exercise but it shouldn’t replace a bike ride, nature walk or
the jungle gym at your local park.

3. Make exercise part of your regular family schedule. Schedule time
everyday for something active. Ask your child if they have any suggestions.

4. Keep it fun! If you don’t then your child will resent it.

Don’t wait. Get your children moving and they will benefit mentally,
emotionally, academically and of course physically. Visit Parenting for
more tips on how to be a good parent.

If
you are a Type D personality, you may have a higher risk for heart disease, according
to a summary article published in the American Heart Association journal Circulation:
Cardiovascular Quality and Outcomes. Most of us are familiar with Type A
and B personalities but maybe you’ve never heard of Type D. This
personality  is characterized by a tendency towards worry, irritability
and gloom, social inhibition and a lack of self-assurance.

Forty-nine studies with some 6,000 patients were analyzed during this research.
Viola Spek, Ph.D., senior author of the study and a researcher at Tiburg
University in the Netherlands stated, “Type D patients tend to experience
increased levels of anxiety, irritation and depressed mood across situations
and time, while not sharing these emotions with others because of fear of
disapproval.” For more information, read the article – Type D Personality Associated With Higher Future Heart
Risk.

If you can relate to the Type D personality, you should consider seeking help
from a mental health care professional. They will be able to help you work
through negative feels and emotions. Visit Managing
Stress on my website for specific stress management tips. You can
improve your physical and emotional health!

More
than 30 million Americans suffer the incapacitating agony of recurring head
pain or migraines. Pain of the head, face and neck is one of the most intense
forms of pain one can experience, and may make it difficult to carry out normal
living. The reasons for migraines have long been a mystery, but according to a
new study, a genetic link may be to blame.

Scientists studied 50,000 Europeans and found that people with a variation in a
particular section of DNA that regulates the chemical, glutamate. The buildup
of glutamate may put you at greater risk for migraine headaches. This is the
first time that a specific genetic link has been found. For more details
on this study, read First
Genetic Link Found For Common Migraine.

Migraines can be debilitating. If you suffer from these chronic headaches,
I encourage you to visit a physician and a psychotherapist. Together they can
work to improve the severity of your headaches and help you cope with the
stress of chronic pain. Visit Headache
Relief on my website for more information.

Have you ever wondering if your child is gifted? A gifted person according to the National Association of Gifted Children is, “someone who shows, or has the potential for showing, an exceptional level of performance in one or more areas of expression.” It is generally recognized that approximately five percent of the student population, or three million children, in the United States are considered gifted.

A child would be considered gifted if they excelled in these areas:

 

• General intellectual ability or talent
• Specific academic aptitude or talent
• Creative and productive thinking
• Leadership ability

• Visual and performing arts

If you feel like your child is gifted, it is important to observe their behavior. Ask yourself:

• Is your child intense?
• Is he/she a perfectionist?
• Has your child been identified by your school district as “gifted”?
• Is your child an “underachiever”?
• Is your child a rebel?
• Is your child a leader?
• Does your child prefer adults or older children rather than same-age playmates?
• Do you feel awkward talking about your child’s gifts to other parents?
• Does your child “dumb-down” in order to fit in?

If you answered, “yes” to one or more of the questions listed above about your child you will probably benefit from an individual intellectual and achievement evaluation by a qualified psychologist. If they conclude that your child is indeed gifted, then seek specific guidance and training for them. Gifted children are fundamentally different and need help to learn social, interpersonal and self-development skills to relate to the rest of humanity. By doing this you can understand and perhaps even avoid some common problems gifted children commonly face such as a lack of motivation, boredom, perfectionism, cynicism and even depression. For more information visit Guiding A Gifted Child on my website.

Alcoholism
and other drug abuse is an epidemic in our country. We are all aware of the
general problem nationwide. Many employers are taking a hard look at the
problems caused by drug abuse and alcohol addiction and have established
employee assistance programs and redesigned insurance benefits to create
treatment options for employees. Yet among family firms, drug addiction and alcohol
abuse are frequently overlooked.

If there is an alcoholic in a family firm, be the founder, spouse, son,
daughter, or in-law, the family is likely to overlook, condone, deny,
rationalize or minimize the problem for the sake of keeping the family system
intact. If the founder is alcoholic, alcoholism may be a family
“tradition” that will be hard to break. That is, drinking may be
interwoven into the fabric of family life and corporate life. Allowing
addictions to go untreated is no way to take care of either the business or the
family. By ignoring the problem the addict accepts this as tacit approval of
their behavior. And by ignoring the problem, the potential threat to the
integrity of the family and business grows. Alcoholism and other addictions leads
to the breakdown of the family, just what a family firm wants to avoid.

What can help members of the family firm address these problems? Here
are a few things to consider:

1.The addict is fortunate to have the backing of both his/her family as well as
his/her business. With the support of the two most important systems in one’s
life, the addict has increased potential to succeed in treatment. They have a
loving family and they have a job to come back to.

2. Stand as a united front when approaching the addict. If there are
dissenters, the addict will solicit allies to defend their continued drug abuse
and will not seek the help that they need.

3. To deal with the humiliation of recognizing that a family member is
an alcoholic, education will help. Professional treatment centers emphasize that
alcoholism and drug abuse are best understood as diseases. They must be
confronted with their irresponsible and manipulative behavior so that they can
change it. With professional treatment and ongoing support, they can be
returned to their former productive and loving lives.

If you find your family is in this situation, contact Alcoholics Anonymous.
Don’t wait! To read more about addiction in the family firm, read this article
in its entirety –  Addiction
‘conspiracy’ of silence hurts the family and business. You can also visit Alcoholism
Recovery on my website.