Author: Kathy Marshack

Finding balance between work-life and home-life is an ongoing battle. What can cause a lack of balance? It may be different depending on the person, but it seems that with the economic downturn, many are concerned about job security. This added pressure causes many to work overtime to prove to their employer that they are worth keeping on. Long work hours means added stress, lack of balance, and no time for the things in life that can bring true joy and happiness.

You may be thinking that there is really nothing you can do about your work situation and that may be true, but what do you have control over? Are there things that can be adjusted? Chances are there are – take a look at the following recommendations:

Cut out non-essentials. While electronics has their place in the world, they can also be a big time waster. Evaluate how much time you are using social media sites, surfing the Internet, or using other electronic devices. They could be depriving you of much valuable time on things that are more important such as your family or your health.

Stick to a schedule. You schedule in your work, so why not schedule in family time or recreation. Putting it down in writing will ensure a greater chance that it will happen. If you choose not to schedule it in, then those opportunities may disappear.

Multi-task. Maybe you only have an hour and you want to squeeze in some exercise, but your 5 year old wants to play with you? They are both important to you. Instead of choosing one over the other, could you merge the two together? Perhaps go on a walk together or a bike ride. You get your exercise in and get to spend quality time with those that you love.

If you feel like you are unable to get a grasp on your responsibilities and your stress is becoming unmanageable, you may need to speak to a professional. Often times short-term therapy can resolve stress-related problems. If you are entrepreneur, you may experience the work-life balance to an even greater degree. Speaking to a therapist who is also versed in business counseling can be highly beneficial.

For more information visit, Managing Stress and/or Entrepreneurial Life.

Losing a loved one in death is the most painful experience we face as humans. It doesn’t matter if it is expected or happens unexpectedly, the experience is painful. The process of grieving is different for everyone.

It has been stated that there are five stages to grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Experiencing these emotions are normal, but as I mentioned earlier, it is different depending on the individual. Do not be discouraged if you have not experienced all of these emotions or if you experience them out of order. Whatever you experience is unique to you.

You may feel that you will never move past the grief that you are experiencing. It’s true that grieving is a wild ride and you will experience many highs and lows through the course of your life. Instead of staying in neutral during the grieving process, take steps to help you move forward with your own life. You are alive and your loved one would want you to live your life to the fullest.

Here are some tips to help move you through the grieving:

Lean on your family and friends. Your family and close friends love you. They want to be there for you. They may not always say or do the right thing, but having good support is crucial in this time. (A note to family and friends: Be a good listener. Many times we just want to jump in and fix the problem, but this is a problem that can’t be undone. Just being there is all they may need.)

Self-care. Try your best to get proper rest. Eat well and exercise. Physical health will ultimately assist your mental health. In addition, find things that make you happy. Going for a walk, get a pet, or find a hobby.

Find a support group. Being part of a support group will help you to see you are not alone. It is a safe place to share your feelings, free from judgment. Click here for tips on how to find the right support group.

Psychotherapy. Do not get down on yourself if you just cannot move past your grief. Psychotherapy will help. A therapist will be able to help you identify your grief roadblocks and give you practical solutions. Click here for information about therapy options.

Grieving takes time. Be patient with yourself and those around you. Visit When to Seek Help for more information.

Children with autism have many challenges to overcome in the course of their life. But what if autism is compounded with ADHD? It would make life even more challenging – especially if it goes undiagnosed. That’s why it’s important for doctors, educators and parents of autistic children to be aware that someone with autism may also have symptoms of ADHD.

Researchers from Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, and Oregon Health Sciences University collected data from Autism Speaks Autism Treatment Network’s Registry and found that out of 2,000 autistic children and adolescents over 50% exhibited symptoms of ADD or ADHD. They also concluded that over a third exhibited severe symptoms. However, only 10% were taking medication that could be used to treat ADHD.

Children with autism and ADHD may benefit by taking medication for their ADHD symptoms. With their ADHD under control, they can then focus on tackling the affects of autism. It is important to note that medication is not a cure for ADHD. It can help to control the symptoms, but more is needed. Emotional therapy, behavioral counseling, and practical support should be combined with medication if the doctor deems it appropriate.

For more information on ADHD and recommended therapy, visit Parenting a Child with ADD.

Have you heard of hoarding? There has been a lot of attention surrounding hoarding recently with even television shows revolving around this disorder. What exactly is hoarding? Hoarding is when a person excessively collects items and is then unable to give these items up. This is not your average collector. A hoarder will put their home and even their own safety at risk for the sake of their possessions. Their home becomes cramped, unsanitary, and seemingly uninhabitable.

According to the Mayo Clinic, here are some of the signs and symptoms of hoarding:

• Unable to discard items
• Keeping stacks of newspapers, magazines or junk mail
• Cluttered living space
• Moving items from one pile to another, without throwing anything away
• Acquiring unneeded or seemingly useless items like trash or napkins 
• Difficulty organizing items
• Procrastination and trouble making decisions
• Strong attachment to possessions, including discomfort letting others touch or borrow possessions
• Limited or no social interactions
• Shame or embarrassment

A hoarder feels a sense of comfort and safety by hoarding. What is the reason for hoarding? There isn’t one specific reason. For some, hoarding is a side effect of OCD. For others, it can be an emotional response to a tragic event or upbringing, loss of a loved one, or genetics. Regardless of the reason, hoarding is dangerous. It can destroy relationships and cause serious health complications. If you or someone you love is a hoarder, seeking professional help is a necessary step in overcoming the disorder. Therapy is very beneficial because it can help to uncover the real reason why someone is hoarding. With intense treatment and a lot of hard work, a hoarder can learn to keep their hoarding tendencies in check. If you would like to set up an appointment to discuss these issues, contact my office in Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, WA to setup an appointment.

Alcoholism is a disease. The craving that an alcoholic feels for alcohol can be as strong as the need for food or water. An alcoholic will continue to drink despite serious family, health, or legal problems. Like many other diseases, alcoholism is chronic – meaning that it lasts a person’s lifetime, follows a predictable course and has symptoms. 

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, alcoholism is a disease that usually includes the following symptoms:

· Craving: A strong need, or compulsion, to drink.

· Loss of control: The inability to limit one’s drinking on any given occasion.

· Physical dependence: Withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety, occur when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking.

· Tolerance: The need to drink greater amounts of alcohol in order to “get high.”

Research from Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health has demonstrated that women in particular are at an increased risk of alcoholism. Katherine M. Keyes, PhD, a post-doctoral fellow in the Department of Epidemiology at the Mailman School comments on some of the contributing factors. She says, “Given that alcoholism among women is increasing, there is a need for specific public health prevention and intervention efforts. Further, results suggest the environment increases the risk for alcoholism. While genetics play a substantial role, the generational differences between those born before and after World War II indicate that factors in the environment such as policies, laws, social norms, availability, and broader social context also contribute substantially to the underlying risk for alcohol use disorders in the population.”

Alcoholism is not something to take lightly. The consequences are serious! If you are not sure if you suffer from alcoholism, click here to read and answer specific questions. If you feel that you are an alcoholic or are experiencing drinking-related problems, seek the help of a doctor or mental health care professional. Recovery is possible. Visit Alcoholism Recovery for more information.

Over the past few years, there has been increasing interest in learning more about adults with Asperger Syndrome, a high-functioning form of Autism. Asperger Syndrome has gone from being unknown to a term you can hear regularly on television. It has been exciting to see that awareness of this disorder is growing. However, there is still an area in the Asperger world that is a vast territory and largely uncharted. I am speaking of parenting and Asperger Syndrome.

I am starting to find more and more adult Neuro-Typicals who grew up with Asperger (Aspie) parents. This type of situation is unique to say the least. Feelings of neglect, depression, perfectionism, and low self-esteem are common for a child of an Asperger parent. Largely to blame for this is due to the lack of empathy and nurturing from the Asperger parent. NTs report that their Asperger Parents are difficult to connect with and hardly reciprocate love and emotion. Usually, the child ends up with severe resentment toward their Aspie parent.

Asperger parents do love their children. They just don’t know how to parent effectively in many areas. If you are an NT who is parenting alongside an Aspie, then you have an uphill battle ahead you. The good news is that you can do it with the right tools. Finding a mental health care professional who specializes in Asperger Syndrome is key. You as well as your partner will need therapy. A specialist can help you see what you can do to help train your child to survive and grow in this unique home environment. Your child may also need therapy to help understand their parent and to build self-esteem and value in themselves.

I am in the process of writing a book entitled, “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Mind, Out of Sight.” I hope to shed light on this lifestyle and give practical support to NT parents. Click here to download a free sample chapter. If you live in the Portland, OR or Vancouver, WA area and would like to set up an appointment to discuss your life with an Asperger family member, contact my office for an appointment.