This is a natural byproduct of an empathy disorder, unless the Aspie develops a strong moral code. It’s harder to take responsibility for a misunderstanding (or other interpersonal breakdown) when you don’t have empathy to compare yourself to another. As a result Aspies can become quite manipulative, narcissistic, and engage in the Blame Game.
Furthermore, we NTs may also be blamed for overreacting to our Aspies. I know I used to be called on the carpet for not “controlling” my Aspie daughter’s public meltdowns. I was accused right on the spot of being a “bad” mother.
That’s where the shame comes in. If you are blamed long enough, and you have made a mistake or two in the relationship, you might take on responsibility for too much and feel Shame. Shame is also a natural byproduct of living daily with a blaming spouse or partner or acting out Aspie child.
What can you do?
If you’re a member of Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD group, you’re invited to the next free TeleConference where we’ll be discussion: Freedom from Blame and Shame. It will be held on Thursday, May 12th at 2:30 PM PDT.
Please join us for a rousing discussion on how to free yourself from Shame by breaking up the Blame/Shame Game. It’s not enough to understand what’s happening to you. You need strategies to take back your life and to know how truly wonderful you are!
Are you a neurotypical (one who doesn’t have Asperger’s) and you’re living in an Asperger home and haven’t joined Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD yet? It’s a free worldwide Meetup where you find support and understanding. Why not join us today?
Another option available to you: If you would like more one-on-one counseling and you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment.