the truth is that you are more likely to have a lasting relationship
with someone who is similar to you. We are often attracted to our
opposite, especially when we are young or when we are unsure of
ourselves. The reason is that at some unconscious level we are trying to
find in another person the skills we lack. It is as if we love that
person, they will somehow fill in the missing gaps in our personalities
or our maturity. The problem is that you cannot grow by osmosis. You
can’t just absorb what the other person has taken several years to
develop or what they may have been blessed with by genetics. So
relationships between opposites generally fizzle out shortly, or at the
worst linger for decades providing a boring, or even hostile
relationship for the couple. Think about it, if you are opposites, what
can you talk about?It is actually much more work to look for a
sweetheart that is a lot like yourself. This requires that you use
introspection, that you go on a journey of self-exploration. Knowing yourself first
makes it much easier for you to find a partner who shares your ideals
and interests. To begin this process of self-exploration take out a
sheet of paper and one side list your strengths and on the other list
your weaknesses. Cover everything from physical to mental to spiritual.
Once you know yourself a little better, the next step is be honest and clean up those traits
that are unfinished or undesirable. If you want a match that is
lasting, you will want a partner who has worked on his or her own
personal development and who has cleaned up her or his bad habits too.
For example, if you love art and music and historical novels, and you
are healthy, vibrant and spiritually alive, you will find this same type
of person attracted to you. So take the time to get to know and develop
yourself before embarking on finding a sweetheart.
If you take
the time to get to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and if
you take the time to improve yourself and to become the person you have
always wanted to be, you will be more attractive to this same kind of person. Remember that personal growth is a lifelong process
and to keep love alive, two people need to be engaged in this process
forever. If you get stuck along the way, use your common sense and seek
out the counsel of a psychologist who specializes in relationship development and personal growth.
For more information, visit Advice for Singles Only.