Category: Events

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Thursday, August 29, 2019 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM PDT

Self-Care isn’t selfish, even though our “Aspies” may accuse us of being selfish. It’s the darnedest thing isn’t it? They become engrossed in their special interests, spending incredible hours and lots of money in pursuit of their passion, yet fail to support ours. When we ask for the time to fit in some simple self-care (such as a massage or a weekend retreat with friends), we are accused of thinking only of ourselves.

The lack of empathy or EmD-0 surfaces time and time again, but we are stumped by the process of self care, when we get no reciprocation. Ah, perhaps that is the answer. Don’t expect reciprocal support at all. Instead take the bull by the horns and take care of yourself first. You deserve it.

In fact we are a group of people who deserve a double and triple dose of self-care, since we carry the burden of the relationship and the family. You are strong, nurturing and heroic, but even heroes need a break.

I don’t want anyone leaving this video conference without a solid plan for self-care. It’s long overdue, don’t you think?

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Tuesday, August 27, 2019 10:00 AM to 11:00 AM PDT

Self-Care isn’t selfish, even though our “Aspies” may accuse us of being selfish. It’s the darnedest thing isn’t it? They become engrossed in their special interests, spending incredible hours and lots of money in pursuit of their passion, yet fail to support ours. When we ask for the time to fit in some simple self-care (such as a massage or a weekend retreat with friends), we are accused of thinking only of ourselves.

The lack of empathy or EmD-0 surfaces time and time again, but we are stumped by the process of self care, when we get no reciprocation. Ah, perhaps that is the answer. Don’t expect reciprocal support at all. Instead take the bull by the horns and take care of yourself first. You deserve it.

In fact we are a group of people who deserve a double and triple dose of self-care, since we carry the burden of the relationship and the family. You are strong, nurturing and heroic, but even heroes need a break.

I don’t want anyone leaving this video conference without a solid plan for self-care. It’s long overdue, don’t you think?

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Tuesday, August 20, 2019 2:00 PM to 3:00 PM PDT

Self-Care isn’t selfish, even though our “Aspies” may accuse us of being selfish. It’s the darnedest thing isn’t it? They become engrossed in their special interests, spending incredible hours and lots of money in pursuit of their passion, yet fail to support ours. When we ask for the time to fit in some simple self-care (such as a massage or a weekend retreat with friends), we are accused of thinking only of ourselves.

The lack of empathy or EmD-0 surfaces time and time again, but we are stumped by the process of self care, when we get no reciprocation. Ah, perhaps that is the answer. Don’t expect reciprocal support at all. Instead take the bull by the horns and take care of yourself first. You deserve it.

In fact we are a group of people who deserve a double and triple dose of self-care, since we carry the burden of the relationship and the family. You are strong, nurturing and heroic, but even heroes need a break.

I don’t want anyone leaving this video conference without a solid plan for self-care. It’s long overdue, don’t you think?

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A free International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Teleconference is only for members of Meetup. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: TELECONFERENCE: How to Win the Argument Through Detachment

Friday August 16, 2019, 1:00pm – 1:50pm PDT

How to win the argument through detachment. Does this even seem possible? And yet, it is the only way to get past the “Aspie” need to win and dominate.

Read carefully. If we step into the “Aspie” arena of win-lose by trying to be reasonable or even match wits with your “Aspie” you are likely to lose. That’s because we NTs generally strive for a win-win solution.

Staying out of the win-lose world is accomplished by detaching from your need to get a reasonable response from your partner. Instead focus on your goal and never move your eye from it.

Stay neutral. Be clear about your goal. Remain firm in your conviction. With this approach you have a fighting chance. It doesn’t always go your way, of course, but it is much more likely that your “Aspie” will accept your goal if you don’t give them explanations to shoot down.

I know it doesn’t quite seem a win-win, but it is if you think about it. Your “Aspie” knows what you want, and you get a fighting chance to have it.

Please come to the call with a private place to listen and chat. This call is only for members. Thank you.

 

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why Do “Aspies” Always Say No?

Thursday, August 15, 2019 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM PDT

Why Do “Aspies” Always Say No? This question is a perennial one for this group. It’s not so much “Why” but how to get around the negative response?

Our “Aspies” say “NO!” out of habit. Since they struggle to follow your line of reasoning they say “NO!” to cut to the bottom line. They say “NO!” to buy themselves some time, to figure out what you are asking or telling them. They say”NO!” because it is comforting to be in charge when so much of their interpersonal life they do not feel in charge. And I am sure our members can explain many other reasons their “Aspies” say “NO!”

The real question is how to get around their reflexive action to put us off, and shut us down? Boy do we have to be patient to do that! Remember, if you are persistent and patient and unwilling to give up, your “Aspie” may come to trust you enough to agree to something, even if they have no idea what you are talking about. Of course, then we have to find a way to cope with the eye rolling and the criticism that “You always get your way.”

In this video conference, we take another look at this primitive mechanism of saying “NO!” In addition to methods for getting around their penchant for saying “NO!” let’s also discuss how to keep our sanity, when all we are trying to do is create a win-win for our relationships.

All event times are posted in Pacific time.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Teleconference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: TELECONFERENCE: No Spontaneous Transitions for Our “Aspies”

Tuesday, August 13, 2019 2:30 PM to 4:00 PM PDT

No spontaneous transitions for our “Aspies.”

Summer is hard enough for those of us in the northern hemisphere, because “Aspies” don’t often do well in the heat. They hate bugs. They hate vacations. They hate the lack of routine the summertime brings.

But it can be worse just getting them ready for Fall, when everyone is gearing up for back-to-school and all of the hustle-bustle that brings. Even when we don’t have children going back to school in the Fall, we all experience the need to get organized before winter sets it.

This Teleconference is dedicated to finding ways to nudge our “Aspies” through the normal transitions that we take for granted, but that cause them meltdowns.

Remember it’s always about taking care of yourself first; others second. When you have a plan, it’s so much easier.