Category: Blog Posts

Do you suffer from anxiety? You are by no means alone. Anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United States according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Are you seeking treatment or are one of the two-thirds of the U.S. population who haven’t received treatment yet?

We can all use help at times, so here are four anxiety busters that really work. The good news is that they’re really easy to do.

Anxiety Buster 1: Breathe deeply.
People experiencing anxiety breathe shallowly and rapidly. This makes less oxygen available to your brain, which triggers more anxiety. By taking slow, deep breaths you’ll increase oxygen to your brain and regain control.

Do you know how to breathe from your diaphragm? If not, try this:

Lie on your back and place a small book on your belly.
As you slowly inhale through your nose, make the book go up.
Hold your breath for 2 seconds.
When you exhale, make the book go down.
Hold your breath for 2 seconds.
Inhale again and repeat 9 more times.

Anxiety Buster 2: Don’t be a bolter.
When the going gets tough the anxious ones run away. Running from or bolting prolongs the agony of your anxiety. It takes courage to face your fear, but by doing so you regain your sense of control and no longer feel powerless.

Anxiety Buster 3: Challenge your distorted thinking.
Anxiety is made worse by our negative thinking. This distorted way of thinking needs to be challenged. You can do this by writing your thoughts down and seeing if they make sense. Or better yet, say them out loud to a trusted friend or mental health professional. They can help you discover a more realistic version of the same thought.

Anxiety Buster 4: Treat anxiety holistically, and if needed, medically.
Too many people are going untreated and are suffering needlessly from chronic anxiety. Often anxiety is allayed when a person gets plenty of rest, good nutrition and regular exercise. Listening to music has proven to be effective too. Adopting a holistic health approach can also include supplementation with herbs, vitamins, minerals and hormones. Your physician should oversee your use of these as well as any other medication prescribed. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA and you’re ready to stop debilitating anxiety, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Read more on my website: Coping with Anxiety Disorders and Holistic Health.

We’ve all heard the reports that drinking red wine daily is heart healthy. But what is it doing to our brains?

Recently Dr. Daniel Amen published an article about debunking the myth that alcohol is a health food. His SPECT Imaging shows the holes and gaps that appear in the brains of even moderate drinkers. He also quotes a 2008 study from the Archives of Neurology, which found that “people who drink just one to seven drinks per week have smaller brains than nondrinkers, and those who have two or more drinks a day have even more brain shrinkage.”

In 2015, the journal Lancet published a research review that found that alcohol use does decrease the risk of heart attacks. That’s good news. The bad news is that they also found that it increased the risk of cancer and physical injuries. Dr Amen goes on to list other negative affects that alcohol has on the brain and body. It:

• Increases the risk of fatty liver disease,
• Contributes to peripheral neuropathies (pain and tingling in hands, legs, and feet),
• Damages neurons, especially those in the cerebellum.
• Interferes with vitamin b1 absorption, leading to serious cognitive problems.
• Decreases firing in the prefrontal cortex.
• Disrupts sleep.
• Predisposes you to sugar abuse.
• Stimulates appetite and is associated with continued eating after feeling full.
• Increases the production of insulin in the pancreas leading to low blood sugar levels and impaired decision making skills.

I appreciate his warnings, because it makes us stop and reassess our own actions and choices. Are they healthy choices? If not, is there an underlying reason for choosing ongoing self-destructive behavior like alcohol abuse?

Personally, I enjoy an occasional glass of wine, especially when entertaining my friends. If we are consistently nurturing and caring for our health, any damage done from drinking a glass of wine or having a beer can quickly be repaired.

However, people who abuse alcohol usually also neglect their nutritional and sleep requirements. Plus they participate in risky behavior. If you find that this article alerts you to a problem, and you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment so we can get you onto the road to recovery.

Read more on my website: Mind and Body Health.

You can’t. There are no guarantees in life. But you CAN hedge your bets and set up a good framework that supports your entire work/family life.I did in-depth research on the dynamics of copreneurs for my book, Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home. I learned there are a number of human behavior theories, one of them being a dialectical theory known as social exchange theory, which sheds light on what makes some couples succeed where others don’t.

Social psychologists, Kelley and Thibaut defined the basic propositions of social exchange theory in this way:

(I) costs being equal, individuals choose alternatives from which they expect the greatest rewards;
(2) rewards being equal, individuals choose alternatives from which they anticipate the fewest costs;
(3) immediate outcomes being equal, individuals choose alternatives that promise better long-term outcomes;
(4) long-term outcomes being equal, individuals choose alternatives providing better immediate outcomes.

These basic propositions of social exchange theory can be used to describe the  essential features of exchanges in married couples. They can also be used to predict relationship satisfaction, relationship progress, and relationship decay.

For all married couples, the exchange context includes trading with one’s partner for love, sex, status, and life support. However, entrepreneurial couples—especially copreneurs because they work together—makes this trade with their spouses for self-esteem, mastery, and achievement. Whereas other couples have a wider variety of resources from which to negotiate exchanges (i.e., colleagues, employers, fellow workers, as well as their spouse), copreneurs must negotiate their love and work needs only from one another. Therefore, the potential for stress is heightened.

In other words, a trap that many entrepreneurial couples fall into is getting locked into deriving all of their rewards from work and spending money (i.e., immediate rewards). Since they work together and live together, they spend all of their time together. They only have themselves to compare to, so there’s no way of knowing when they’re heading into a major problem. As long as the rewards (i.e., work and money) outweighed the costs, the couple won’t notice the other rewards or benefits of marriage and family life may be slipping away.

It takes something catastrophic like a liquor bottle being thrown in the heat of an argument to alert them that the immediate costs to their quality of life no longer outweighed the long-term gain of business wealth.

On the other hand, when a couple has a well-developed system for maintaining a healthy balance in their lives, they won’t get blindsided. What are three must have rules of conduct in this system?

• Keep business discussions at the office and family/relationship discussions at home.
• Be sure you are equal business partners, giving each other full credit and respect for your separate contributions.
• Insist on developing individual private lives.

With outside contacts, you’ll have other people in your lives with whom you can trade for feelings of self-esteem, mastery, and achievement. And this can make all the difference in the world.

You don’t have to be one of those couples that waits for something to go very wrong before waking up to problems and doing something about them. If you’re already experiencing problems in your work/life balance and need help getting back on track, and you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

If you live elsewhere, we can also discuss best communication practices for business and/or family relationships via a secure video Q & A session. This would come under the heading of Entrepreneurial Couples Remote Education.

“What?! Everyone says stress is bad, Dr. Marshack. How can you say stress is your friend?”

It’s true that we hear everyday about how stress is killing us. It’s often associated with problems such as:

Increased appetite for sugar and fats
Abdominal obesity
No energy
Poor concentration
High cholesterol levels
Heart disease and hypertension
Risk for strokes
Diabetes
Alzheimer’s disease
Osteoporosis
Anxiety
Depression
Compromised immune system

But without stress you wouldn’t be motivated to do anything. You wouldn’t get out of bed. You wouldn’t leave your home. You wouldn’t work to solve problems. You wouldn’t strive for excellence. You wouldn’t work at patching up relationships. You wouldn’t get out of the way of a speeding car.

Stress is simply a red flag that you NEED TO DO SOMETHING. It’s telling you that something is not right in your life. How you react to that red flag is the good or bad part of stress. Often you know what you should do, but you don’t follow through, so you add fighting against yourself to the original stressor, which launches the dangerous threat to your health.

It’s your choice to get angry at something someone says or let it go. It’s your choice to suffer in silence or to stand up for yourself. You can decide to sit on the couch watching TV eating bags of chips or go outside and walk in the sunshine. You can choose to tell yourself, “You’re so stupid and you can’t do it.” Or instead say, “I am capable. What I do is good enough.”

However, if stress is prolonged and has already caused serious health problems or is the result of trauma, a chemical imbalance or a nutritional imbalance, you’ll need more than positive thinking and meditation to get you back on track to optimal health. Maybe it’s been going on so long you don’t even know where your stress is coming from.

A psychologist experienced in a holistic health, NET and varying forms of psychotherapy can provide you with a mental and physical health program tailored to your specific biochemical, emotional and mental needs. If you’re experiencing unrelieved stress, please consult with a professional as soon as possible. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Read more: Mind and Body Health.

Our first Video Conference on the topic of “High Functioning Autism” was “eye opening”, “excellent” and “validating” according to those who joined us. One participant mentioned that these discussions are “giving her a voice and a real perspective”.

I am so thrilled that I’m able to support so many of you in your quest for greater understanding and ways of coping with the crazy making world of Asperger’s Syndrome. I heartily thank all who have the courage to reach out and connect in the Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD Meetup group.

It’s easy to confuse logic with intelligence. High Functioning doesn’t mean that your Aspie is somehow superior. They’re just as autistic as any other autistic when it comes to empathy, meaning that they have zero degrees of empathy. But they often have an abundance of logic to convince us that empathy is overrated.

First, remember that even though our Aspies may be logical, they may also be irrational. For example, they may logically deduce that your argument or position lacks merit because you cannot prove your point. Or they may deduce that since women earn less than men, they should pay all women less for their services. It’s not rational to conclude that you are “wrong” just because you don’t present sufficient evidence to convince them. Likewise, it’s irrational to argue that women should earn less because over the decades they have.

Second, remember that intelligence comes in all shapes and sizes. You may be emotionally intelligent or artistically intelligent or socially intelligent or intuitively intelligent, etc. You need not possess mathematical/logical intelligence to be intelligent, though this is the type of intelligence that many of our Aspies value.

Third, it’s time to take back our right to be intelligent in our own unique way. Empathy is an incredible gift to possess. We use it in myriad ways to navigate the social world. When you learn to love and appreciate yourself fully (including your capacity for empathy), then interacting with our Aspie loved one becomes more stress free.

The next video conference takes up where we’re leaving off in the discussion of High Functioning Autism. If you’re a member of Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD group, you’re invited to the next free TeleConference where we’ll be discussion: Logic v. Intelligence. It will be held on Thursday, June 2nd at 2:30 PM PDT and again on Thursday, June 28th at 4:00 PM PDT.

Are you a neurotypical (one who doesn’t have Asperger’s) and you’re living in an Asperger home and haven’t joined Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD yet? It’s a free worldwide Meetup where you find support and understanding. Why not join us today?

Another option: If you would like more one-on-one counseling and you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my office and schedule an appointment.

Sometimes talk therapy isn’t enough to help people remove emotional blocks. This is especially true for those challenged with Asperger’s Syndrome. But there are ways to help. Like hypnosis and other more holistic therapeutic approaches, NET allows people to bypass talk analysis and get to the heart of their problems without having to come up with a good explanation for the change. I’ve found this to be a less stressful treatment for people with Asperger’s Syndrome, since they struggle to explain what’s going on in their hearts and minds.

Recently I wrote an article for PsychCentral discussing this topic and shared an example of how NET helped one teenager, Austen, find the missing element he needed in order to do what his mother wanted him to do.

To summarize the story: His mother thought that withholding his precious laptop would force him to clean his bathroom. Austen admitted that the bathroom needed to be cleaned, but he could see no connection between getting his laptop back and cleaning his room. This confusion caused them to be at a stalemate. I encourage you to click here to read the entire PsychCentral article. (And while you’re there, will you share this information from your favorite social media platform, too?)

As a NET Practitioner, I was able to help Austen with Neuro-Emotional Technique. NET incorporates the concept of Applied Kinesiology, and the meridian system of Chinese medicine. Using acupressure points on the wrist and testing for congruence between mind and body, he was able to release his emotional blocks. It allows Austen to communicate with his unconscious through NET. Without empathy, Austen was stymied about how to accomplish something he was powerfully motivated to do. Once Austen and I had identified the missing piece, we could use the NET approach to integrate the elements he needed to clean the bathroom. I’m happy to report that Austen got his laptop back the next day.

Not only does NET help those with Asperger’s, it’s also a fabulous tool for helping people release unresolved emotional stress. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA and want to discuss how NET may be able to help you, please contact my office and schedule an appointment.