Category: Blog Posts

Procrastination is the act of habitually putting things off to a later time or delaying taking action. Procrastination can have a serious impact on a person’s life. Physical problems like stomach problems and insomnia are common. Procrastinators often times smoke and/or are heavy drinkers. There are also emotional side effects. Depression and procrastination can go hand in hand – they feed one another.

What are some of the reasons for procrastination?

• Fear
• Perfectionism
• Desire for an adrenalin rush 
• Lack of self-control
• Skewed thinking that your performance will be better under pressure

The list could go on and on. If you are a procrastinator, no need to think that you are hopeless. By tackling your procrastination problems, you might just find that you will be a happier and less stressed individual. The best advice for a procrastinator would be to schedule therapy. That may sound extreme, but it works. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that would be highly beneficial. CBT addresses the way people think. Procrastination as mentioned earlier is stemming from some type of incorrect thinking and emotion. Reprogramming how you think and view tasks could change whether or not you will procrastinate. Addressing the core issue will help you and your therapist to identify what tools you need to change these unhealthy patterns.

To learn more about CBT or other therapy options, please visit Psychotherapy Options on my website. Stop your procrastination today!

Have you ever been around a whiner? Do you like listening to the negative, persistent complaining? Probably not. This type of communication leaves both parties drained instead of refreshed. Whining has a tendency to be prevalent in therapy sessions. The client comes in week after week with the same old problems that they like to vent about. Because of this, many therapists are changing their approach from unconditional love to tough love.What is the reason for this shift? Whining and complaining doesn’t solve problems. Therapists see the need for their clients to be more solution-oriented. They are looking to answer the question: What is the root of the whining? What truly is the problem? If the client is not looking to problem solve, then some therapists may end therapy until the client is ready for change.

How to get a whiner to change? In the article How to Stop Whining: Therapists Try Tough Love by Elizabeth Bernstein there are some excellent suggestions. For example: Create a good rapport with the whiner. Use commendation before counseling. Set a specific limit on how long complaints are allowed. Ask questions to draw out the individual and look for a real problem. Help the individual look for a solution by asking what they plan to do about it.

There are many more ideas, so I highly recommend reading the article. Even if you are not a therapist, I am sure you know a whiner or two. This might give you some tips of how to handle them.

Are you looking for solution-oriented therapy? Contact my office to set up an appointment if you live in the Portland, Oregon/Vancouver, Washington area. Click here to learn about Psychotherapy Options.

When couples work together they have the opportunity to work with a partner they love and trust most. They also have the opportunity to see the best and worst of their partner . . . day in and day out. Even with the most enlightened people, this constant togetherness can cause conflict. It’s wonderful to have closeness, rapport, and regular praise from your sweetheart. It just doesn’t feel as wonderful to have your partner know you so well that they give you regular criticism as well.

It is important to view criticism for what is really is . . . a critical analysis of your behaviors and an offering of advice on how to change, grow and improve yourself. If criticism is hard for you to take, try viewing it from this perspective. Criticism doesn’t make you bad or undesirable. It is just feedback for your enlightenment. Everyone from time to time needs to check out old habits, rewrite some scripts, take a few risks, and try anything new to break out of a rut. If we don’t attend to this we lose out personally.

If you are offering criticism to your spouse, here are a few things that you should keep mind. First, choose a good time. The right moment can make a huge difference in how the criticism is received. Second, be prepared to offer some sort of commendation along with the criticism. This will remind them that you do care and value them. Third, make sure that it is necessary criticism. It may be an issue that is really not that important or it might just be your inability to be flexible more than them needing to change.

Criticism is a vital tool that if used properly can make a person blossom for the good. For more information, read my article – Entrepreneurial Couples Can Transform Criticism into Feedback.

Want to learn more about the rewards and challenges of working with your spouse? Visit Entrepreneurial Life – Couples at Work and Home

One in three Americans are obese while two in three Americans are overweight. Obesity is an epidemic sweeping the nation. The average weight of Americans has increased by 20% from 1975 and 2005. Ever wondered how to control it? The answer may surprisingly lie with mathematics.

Carson Chow, a mathematician, has been studying the obesity epidemic and has come up with some very interesting conclusions. Working alongside Kevin Hall, a mathematical physiologist, they created a math model of the human body. After a lot of work, one simple equation was developed that may answer some important health questions.

According to Chow, the idea that 3,500 calories less is needed to lose a pound is incorrect. He says that it is easier to gain weight if you are heavier. So, a few extra calories for a heavier person means more. They predict that if you eat 100 less calories a day over a period of three years without cheating, you will lose 10 pounds. Click here to use an interactive version of the math model.

Chow’s suggestions for helping ward off this epidemic is to stop marketing food to children and as simple as it sounds…cut caloric intake. To learn more about mathematics and obesity, read the article – A Mathematical Challenge to Obesity.

For additional information, visit Weight Control on my webpage.

Depression can take a serious toll on a person’s life. Not only will it impair daily living, but it can also put you at risk for long-term problems. The Archives of General Psychiatry published a study about how depression that strikes during middle age creates a greater risk for dementia in the future.

By studying 13,000 people during midlife (40’s and 50’s) to their 80’s, those who did have symptoms of depression were 20% more likely to have dementia in old age. If they received a depression diagnosis later in life, they were at a 70% risk of dementia. Interestingly, timing played a role in the type of dementia. Depression diagnosed in midlife was linked to vascular dementia while later in life depression it’s linked to Alzheimer’s. For more information on this fascinating study, read Depression in middle age linked to dementia.

It is still unknown if treatment for depression would change the likelihood of dementia. Regardless of the answer, depression should still be treated and the good news is that depression is treatable. To learn more about available treatment options, visit Overcoming Depression.

Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t sweat the small stuff?” I’m sure you have. Sadly this expression does not work if you are co-parenting with an Asperger partner. (Asperger Syndrome is a high form of autism. Common symptoms include lack of empathy, impaired use of nonverbal behavior to regulate social behavior, and lack of social and emotional reciprocity. For more information, visit Asperger Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions)

When you are in a relationship with an Aspie and co-parenting, your life is turned upside down every day because of the “small stuff.” Small stuff is the problem and if you ignore it, it may lead to dire consequences. What can you do to work through this problem? Learn to attend to the things that you can and let the rest go. Easier said than done, right?

You may not be able to change the situation you are in, but you can change how to react or respond. In order to do this in a healthy and positive way, you must take care of yourself. Learn all that you can about Asperger Syndrome. Doing this will help you somewhat to detach from emotional distress you face while dealing with the small things. Also, take out a little time for yourself every day. That may sound impossible, but if you do not, you will spiral down into a dark place and then who will be there for your family? So, prioritize and drop the rest.

My upcoming book is entitled, Parenting with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Mind, Out of Sight. A FREE sample chapter is available for download. You can also checkout my AAPC bestseller, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?, which focuses on relationships and marriage with an Asperger partner.

If you live in the area you can join me May 19, 2012 at 1:00 PM in Portland, Oregon for the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD Support Group. We will be discussing, “Would we marry them again?“