Author: Kathy Marshack

I
have written a lot about what it’s like being married to someone with Asperger
Syndrome –  the many challenges you face daily. Now imagine what it’s like
having a parent with Asperger Syndrome. This scenario is real and affects many
children. So this leads us to wonder, what is life like for these children?

It is only realistic to expect that living with an Asperger parent will be a
challenge. Many adults who were raised with an Aspie parent are now reporting
severe depression and self-esteem problems because they lived with a parent who
struggled to nurture them and get to know them. With a lack of warmth, tender
affection, and communication, a child can feel emotionally rejected by their
parent even though they may have all of their physical needs taken care of.

This is not to say that an Aspie parent does not love their child. That is far
from the truth. But the communication and relationship deficits confuse the
child and can lead to the child feeling unloved. Remember it is the child’s
experience that defines the parenting, not whether the AS parent loves their
child.

I am writing a new book entitled,  “Parenting
with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of
Mind.” It addresses the unique issues that come up when
you’re co-parenting with an Aspie partner. Click
here to download a free sample chapter.

If you have a child who has an Aspie parent, I highly recommend seeking
professional help from a mental health care specialist. For more information on
Asperger Syndrome, visit Asperger
Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions on my website.

Children
and stress are two words that many never imagine go together, but unfortunately
they do – especially now. According to a 2009 survey performed by American Psychological Association (APA), young ones between the ages of 8-17 years of
age are dealing with stress. The sad thing is that this stress is often not
being recognized by the parents.

One cause of stress is the family’s financial situation. Parents, you may not
realize it, but a child’s eyes and ears are always open. They do hear about
what is happening in the economy and they can easily recognize that it is
stressing you out. They in turn bottle it up and begin to worry themselves.

The effect of stress on a young person can be evident by increasing headaches,
difficulty sleeping, and change in appetite. Parents, I encourage you to be
alert to these signs in your children. It is vital that if they are dealing
with stress that they get proper help to cope. A mental health care professional
will be able to assist you and your child deal with these issues. It’s also
important to spend good quality time together as a family. Make the home a
place of safety and security for your children and keep the lines of
communication open.

Visit Managing
Stress on my website for additional information.

Summer is just around the corner. Have you planned your family’s vacation yet?
Maybe you think you’re too busy. One solution is to take a look at ways to
integrate your business trip with the family vacation.

It is important to raise children who have a sense of belonging to a family
with parents who are professionals. The children see the work as part of who
their parents are … and they are part of it too. Integrating a
family/business vacation is much easier now with the help of hotels and resorts
who cater to business travelers who wish to bring their children with them.
While Mom and Dad are at their business meetings, or downloading their e-mail,
the children are able to participate in events sponsored and supervised by
hotel staff.

However, there is a potential problem. Workaholics may never learn how to leave
work. Combining work and play as I have described above is one alternative, but
another is to plan vacations without work in mind at all. Pure family fun is
vital for recharging the entire family.

As a family who also happens to be in business together, you have the
sophisticated task of integrating the needs of family and the needs of
business. If your spouse and your children feel a part of your work, they are
in a better position to help with business growth, even if only as interested
stakeholders. And if you are willing to take time from your busy schedule to
play with your children and family, even at a business conference or trade
show, you are sending a very important message. That is, no matter how
important the business, no matter how you wish the business to succeed, what’s
the point if you cannot share your successes with the ones you love?

Asperger Syndrome: Partner’s & Family of Adults with ASD Support Group
has been growing by leaps and bounds. Our meetings and Meetup
page has become a place of comfort and support for those who have loved
ones with ASD. So many times the focus is put on the one with ASD and with no
support for their family, but that is now changing.

I recently received an post from a new member who joined to support her friend
who is married to someone with ASD. Here is what she said, “Thank you
for your welcome. I was happy to find this group as I was very much helped by
your book, which I’ve passed on to my friends. They found it tremendously
helpful. I am glad to find any discussion on these issues as those outside the
situation find it pretty nigh impossible to understand the pain involved. I’m
not married to an AS but my friend is.“

The support group is not limited to those with family/partners of ASD, but also
those who are friends to Neuro-typicals with Asperger partners. Many times the
NT’s feels like no one understands the pain that they are experiencing. This
new member set a wonderful example of a supportive friend. I encourage anyone
else in this situation to please join our support group meetings or Meetup
page if you live outside of the Portland/Vancouver area.

My book Life
with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge is
available for purchase on my website or feel free to download
the first chapter for free. This is also an excellent resource for friends
to read to gain a greater appreciation for what their friends may be experiencing. Thank you to all of you who are
taking the lead to help spread the word about Asperger Syndrome.

Have you experienced excessive anxiety and worry about your daily activities, such as work or school performance? Does your anxiety or worry interfere with your normal routine, job performance, social activities, or relationships? If so you may be one of the 19 million American adults suffering from an anxiety disorder. These disorders fill people’s lives with overwhelming anxiety and fear. Unlike the relatively mild, brief anxiety caused by a stressful event such as a business presentation or a first date, anxiety disorders are chronic, relentless, and can grow progressively worse if not treated.

Seeking professional help from a mental health care professional is key to overcoming anxiety disorders. A psychologist will help you learn how to deal with your anxiety. Psychologists often work closely with a psychiatrist or other physician, who will prescribe medications when they are required. When you find a health care professional the two of you are working together as a team. Together you will develop a plan to treat your anxiety disorder.


In addition to therapy, here are a few tips to help you minimize the effect of anxiety:

• Eat a well balanced diet. Avoid sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco.
• Practice deep breathing techniques
• Exercise
• Keep an anxiety log to help you identify things that trigger anxiety

• Find time to relax and recreate

Visit Coping with Anxiety on my website for additional information. It is important to give any treatment a fair trial. And if one approach doesn’t work, the odds are that another one will, so don’t give up.

Finding
the “ideal” employee can be challenging. As an entrepreneur, you have worked
long and hard to make you business a success and whoever you add into the mix
can either be for the good or for the bad. Here are a few tips to help you when
you are looking to hire a new employee:

1. Ask yourself, have you ever had a terrific employee that you wish you
could clone? If so, make a list of that employee’s qualities, from their
actual work skills, to personality traits. As you examine the qualities of this
ideal employee, you will open your mind to the traits you are looking for in
your next hire. Develop a list of the qualities you need to fit your particular
setting. From this list, begin drafting questions that will elicit from
prospective employees whether they have these qualities.

2. Always use screening tools to search out personality traits, emotional
problems and psychological issues that do not surface during an interview.
It is probably best to use the services of a psychologist who is expert in
interpreting these tests, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

3. Ask yourself if your workplace is attractive to the type of employee you
want. Do you need to remodel to make the workplace more ergonomic? Is your
management progressive? Are there other benefits and perks you can offer?
Remember, a healthy, hardworking employee is looking for a good match in an
employer too.

4. Realize that all employees have problems in their lives from time to time
that will affect their work. After doing a thorough screening, and hiring
the very best person for the job, make sure you have a back-up system to deal
with problems as they emerge. For example, providing a child care allotment, or
flexible scheduling, or some form of employee assistance plan, goes a long way
in correcting stress in an employee’s life, so that they can solve life
problems as quickly and effectively as possible.

Read more tips on being a successful manager when your run your own business on
my website.