Author: Kathy Marshack

Many families travel during the holiday season. Traveling with a child
is a challenge, but traveling with a child with ADD/ADHD takes it to an
entirely different level. The good news is that as a parent, you can
prepare yourself and your child for the journey. Here are a few helpful
tips to make your travel experience a smooth one:

1. Prepare in advance.
Spontaneity and ADHD do not go hand in hand. Structure always works
best. So, prepare your child for the trip in advance. Explain to them
what they will experience on the trip, what the schedule/routine will be
like etc. This way you will not throw them any unexpected curb balls.

2. Include them in the planning.
Ask your child what they would like to do on the trip. Do they have any
particular interests? Can you include their interests in the itinerary?

3. Stick to a schedule. Try your best to stick to a
similar eating and sleeping schedule that your child is comfortable
with. I know it is hard to do that when on vacation, but the closer you
stick to it, the easier it will be on your child and on you. It make
require extra planning on your part. For instance, bring snacks along so
if you can’t get a meal in at the regular time, you have something that
your child can eat. If you know you will have a late night, try to
squeeze in time to rest.

4. Set the rules. Explain to your child what the rules are before
you leave! This way they will understand what is expected of them and
it will be easier for them to follow. Establish consequences if the
rules are not followed. On the flip side, if they follow the rules, be
sure to commend or reward them. Positive reinforcement works brilliantly!

With a little forethought and planning, you and your child may actually enjoy the journey! For on information, visit Parenting a Child with ADD.

If you are planning a trip with an autistic family member click here for travel tips.

Harvard University and the University of Utah have been working together
to develop a new method for diagnosing autism. The results of their
research is very noteworthy. A MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) is used
to test the regions in the brain that relate to emotions, social
cognition, and language. When scanning the brain of someone with autism,
researchers found that there was not as much information being passed
between these areas of the brain.

Lead study author Nicholas Lange, ScD, associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts, told Medscape Medical News that, “The
test was able to detect autism in this high-functioning population with
94% accuracy. This technique shows that someone with autism has less
organized wiring.”

What makes this method so much better than the previous? Dr. Lange said, “Autism
is diagnosed now with a very subjective measure, a formal interview
that takes 4 hours, and with observation of the child for another hour
or so. But it’s the doctor’s call. This test is a more definitive way of
determining autism early on, by pointing to something in the brain that
is biologically based.”

This test is not yet available, but as for the future of this type of testing, Dr. Lange states, “We
are continuing to study and develop the test, and more findings are due
out a year or 2 from now. We are also planning future studies to look
at patients with high-severity autism and younger children less than 7
years of age and patients with brain disorders, such as developmental
language disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder, who do not have autism.“ For a more detailed description of this study, read MRI Test Shows Diagnostic Promise for Autism.

It’s not a secret. Infidelity happens. Infidelity does not have to be physical. Read When Your ‘Friendship’ Is Really An Emotional Affair for a definition of a non-physical affair. In fact, these affairs have become more common with the ability to connect via social networking sites.

Many think that infidelity is a problem, but it is more often a symptom of a bigger underlying problem. Symptoms tell us there is a problem needing attending to. For example, if you have a sore throat you should rest, drink fluids and take some aspirin. If you press on through, chances are your cold will be twice as bad. Infidelity is like that. There were probably symptoms long before the first act of indiscretion, but no one was looking or listening for it.

You can go on and on looking for reasons why couples are unfaithful to one another, but what you should do is search for the root or roots of the problems, and then to build an intervention. When you are in the middle of this kind of emotional uproar, you aren’t always capable of thinking clearly on your own. You need the objective guidance of a professional trained in helping families heal from psychological assaults. Plus the natural tendency of all families is to cover up problems in the mistaken belief that doing so will keep the family safe.

 

If you find yourself in this situation, do not delay. For more information, visit Infidelity on my website or contact my office for an appointment.

 

Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD now has 216 members
from around the world. Since our meetings are currently held in
Portland, Beaverton, and Lake Oswego, Oregon, many of our members are not able to
physically attend. In spite of this, our message boards have become a
Meetup location in itself.

Our message board currently contain 8 different discussion forums. Out of these forums, literally hundreds of discussions have been formed with thousands of
posts. Issues such as sleep problems, sex, parenting, co-dependency,
grieving, medication, and much more are being discussed. Some of the
most popular discussions: Christian and Asperger’s, Alexithymia, Humorous Differences, Why God Made Aspergers, and How To Leave and Grieve.
I have been impressed with the prolific writers in the group and I
encourage you to keep writing! Something you write may touch the life of
someone else.

Please come and join our group. No matter where
you are in the world, you can chat with others, gain insight, and
support. If you live in the Portland, OR or Vancouver, WA area, we would
love to meet you in person at one of our Meetups. We will be meeting
December 4, 2010 in Westside Portland to discuss, Asperger’s and Other Co-Occurring Disorders- Does My Loved One Have Any? On December 11, 2010 in Portland, we will discuss Sensory Overload, Holiday Meltdowns and How to Survive. Click here for more information about the upcoming meetings.

We look forward to seeing you there or meeting you online! Thank you to all who continue to give support.

Depression is an illness that affects
millions of Americans every year. Most likely you know someone who is
dealing with depression. It can be very difficult to support your
depressed loved one and  it can even take a toll on your emotional
state.If you have a loved one who is depressed, here are a few things that you can do:

Educate Yourself – Like
any type of illness, it is important to educate yourself about it.
Knowledge is very powerful. Once you have learned about what they are
dealing with, you will be more equipped to support them. Be alert to symptoms and any changes in their behavior.

Know Your Role – You
must acknowledge that depression is an illness and you can’t cure it!
Do not be the hero and strive to fix the problem or even sound like you
are the authority on the matter. Your role is to be supportive and
sincere. You want to gain their trust not turn them away.

Don’t Withdraw – As
humans, we have the tendency to remove ourselves from people who are
depressed because they are trying to withdraw or isolate themselves from
us. As hard as it may be to stick around, it is exactly what they need.
They may tell you that they don’t need anyone, but they do. This is
going to take a lot of persistence on your part, but isolation is
detrimental to a depressed person. Remember that this behavior is not
personal, it is the illness speaking.

Listen – Let your
loved one talk. They may share things that are disturbing like
self-injury or suicide, but it is better for you to know these feeling
so you can use that information to protect them. Also, ask questions to
draw them out.

Be Proactive – Don’t say, “If there is
anything I can do, let me know.” Guess what…they won’t. Take a
proactive approach. Think of something specific that you can do for them
and offer that instead. If you find that they are in serious danger, do
something. You may have to push them to the doctor or even go to the
hospital. They may be angry at you, but that is not an excuse to let
them do something dangerous. You may have to get other people involved
to help you.

Take Care of Yourself – As a caregiver, it
is vital that you take care of yourself. You can’t help your loved one
if you are tapped out. Be balanced with yourself!

Helping someone
overcome depression will not be an easy journey, but it is well worth
your while. Be patient. In time your loved one will appreciate all your
love and consideration in their behalf. For more information, visit Overcoming Depression.
If you need help to overcome your own depression or support a family
member with their situation and live in the Portland, Oregon or
Vancouver, Washington area, please contact my office.

 

With as many as 1.5 million Americans
having some form of autism, including milder variants, autism is a hot
topic.  In 2009, the movie “Adam” highlighted the difficulties of falling in love with someone who has Asperger Syndrome and currently NBC’s “Parenthood”
has a character with Asperger Syndrome. When I talk to couples in these
difficult relationships, they’re not that interested in Hollywood,
they’re looking for real life solutions.

With so much emphasis
being placed on Asperger Syndrome, many are left wondering, how can
someone co-parent with an Aspie partner? What about the children of an
Asperger parent? How can a child thrive when his or her parent has so
little empathy?

I’ve been moved to investigate these sensitive and unique issues especially after writing “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship.” As many of you know, I am currently writing a new book entitled, “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of Mind.”

I have found that
when you live with Aspies it’s the ordinary things of life that cease
to function properly – like getting enough sleep, or asking your spouse
to pick up a child from soccer practice. When co-parenting with an Aspie
these ordinary things become strained and turn into not-so-ordinary
moments leaving the Neuro-typical (NT) partner feeling drained,
unnerved, and tense. In fact many NT spouses/partners report a variety
of psycho-somatic and immunodeficiency illnesses such as migraines,
arthritis, gastric reflux and fibromyalgia.

If you find yourself in this situation, you are not alone. There are answers to this dilemma and I will continue to write about those answers. I encourage you to download a FREE

sample chapter of “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of Mind.” I will continue to keep you updated on any news about the book and when it will be available.