Author: Kathy Marshack

The kind of skills that will enhance any leader’s position and that could create a leader from someone with raw talent, come under what I call the “resilience factor.” Within this factor are the qualities of flexibility, the win-win philosophy, quality over quantity, toughness, and foresight.

How the resilience factor is demonstrated:

Flexibility: No matter what surprises lay in store for this leader, he or she is flexible enough to do what works in the moment. He or she can learn from even the lowest employee in the hierarchy.

The Win-Win Philosophy: Competition is a waste of time for this leader. This leader’s philosophy is that everyone wins.

Quality over Quantity: Doing things fast is replaced by doing things thoroughly, efficiently and with quality. The leader who has mastered good interpersonal skills has a devoted work force, family and clientele. Therefore, taking the time to do it right and to learn from others pays off.

Toughness: Leaders who win are tough. They don’t give up. Their employees and family members can count on them to come through. They aren’t afraid to speak, nor to speak an unpopular position.

Foresight: When leaders speak, they have thoroughly researched their opinion. Winging it was OK in those start up years, but if you want people to follow you, be thorough.

The bottom line is that resilient leaders recognize the abilities and talents in others as well as themselves. These leaders realize that their greatest contribution to the business is their ability to lead, to cultivate excellence in others, to create a quality business with longevity. Without developing the interpersonal skills that create trust and confidence in the leader, this is just not possible.

For more on being a resilient leader, read my article – Cultivating Resilient Leadership Can Help a Family Business Succeed or visit Entrepreneurial Life.

The March issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal includes a study that is looking at the potential of over-diagnosing ADHD in younger children. After following over 900,000 children in British Columbia, Canada, researchers say that youngest children in the classroom are more likely diagnosed with ADHD than the oldest children in the same class. The cut off in British Columbia for kindergarten is December 31st, so if a child was born in January, they could be almost a year older than others in the same class. The statistics in the study stated that around 30% of boys born in December were diagnosed with ADHD and 70% of girls born in December were diagnosed compared to children born in January.

Researchers are concerned that in some cases, a child may not have ADHD, but rather is just exhibiting immaturity due to age. Misdiagnosing ADHD in place of immaturity is very serious. A child wrongly diagnosed and treated for ADHD can cause serious lifelong effects. The flip side is also true, not diagnosing ADHD can have serious consequences.

If you know an adult or child who might have ADHD, I recommend seeking out the professional opinion of a ADD/ADHD specialist. To assess whether a person has ADD or ADHD, specialists consider several questions: Are these behaviors excessive, long-term, and pervasive? Is this a continuous problem, not just a response to a temporary situation? Do the behaviors occur in several settings or only in one specific place? The person’s pattern of behavior is then compared against a set of criteria and characteristics of the disorder.

For more information, visit ADD/ADHD Overview on my website. If you are interest in treating ADD/ADHD, contact my office to set up an appointment.

What are some of the benefits that come from truly forgiving:

• Anger, bitterness, and resentment will lessen
• Lower stress levels and blood pressure
• Stronger immune system
• Less back pain, headaches, and stomach aches

These benefits don’t just come with forgiveness. Forgiveness must be accompanied with forgetting. What do I mean by forgetting? It doesn’t mean to literally forget. That might just be impossible. What is does mean is that you graciously forgive by choosing not to recall the incident to mind along with the negative feelings of resentment. Simply, you must learn to let it go! This sounds much easier than it truly is, but it is possible.

One way to cultivate forgiveness is by working to build up the quality of gratitude. Doing so will help you to see what is good in yourself and in others. Also, is there a lesson that can be learned from the incident that caused you pain? Focus on what kind of person and quality you can develop. Overtime, this will help you be a stronger more confident person.

There are times when psychotherapy might be necessary to help with the process of forgiving and forgetting. This is especially true when abuse, abandonment, or other serious issues have occurred. There is no shame in looking to a professional who is equipped with the right tools to get you on track to a becoming a forgiving individual. If you are looking for a therapist in the Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington area, please contact my office to set up an appointment.

Stress Management is also an important tool when it comes to forgiveness. Click here for more information.

This is the case for two Aspies, Jack Robison and Kirsten Lindsmith. Jack is the son of John Elder Robison, author of the acclaimed memoir about Asperger Syndrome, Look Me in the Eye. Kirsten was diagnosed with ADHD at age 11, but 2011, she realized that she had Asperger Syndrome. Jack and Kirsten have been dating for two years and now live together. According to them, they have found love. This isn’t to say it has been a walk in the park for them. There have been challenges. To read more about Jack and Kirsten’s relationship, read The New York Times article – Navigating Love and Autism.

If you are raising an Asperger child, I am sure you would agree that you would love for your child to grow up and find the kind of happiness that comes from love. If you are married to someone with Asperger’s, you may feel lost and confused as to what love really means to your partner.

There are so many questions surrounding this topic. . . Do Aspie’s really want or need true love? What really is true love? This will be the topic for discussion at the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD Meetup Support Group. This meeting will be held in Portland, Oregon on March 17. We look forward to having a lively discussion and hearing your thoughts on this very personal topic that is central to the lives of many. If you will not be able to join us in person, become part of our online family.

For more information on Asperger Syndrome, read Asperger Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions.

What are some common obsessions of OCD? 

C. Robert Cloninger, the psychiatrist who developed personality tests for measuring this trait stated, “Novelty-seeking is one of the traits that keeps you healthy and happy and fosters personality growth as you age. It can lead to antisocial behavior, but if you combine this adventurousness and curiosity with persistence and a sense that it’s not all about you, then you get the kind of creativity that benefits society as a whole.”

Dr. Cloninger says that the secret lies in a “trio of personality traits”. That trio is novelty-seeking, persistence, and self-transcendence. Persistence gives you the motivation to keep trying even if you don’t get what you want immediately. If you’re persistent, you look for new and better ways to achieve. Self-transcendence refers to getting lost in your thoughts or in moments and allowing amazing connections to form.

For more on this fascinating look at neophilia, read the NY Times article – Novelty-Seeking (Neophilia) Can Be a Predictor of Well-Being. If you are a neophiliac and want to get the most out of this personality trait, seeking therapy can be highly beneficial. If you do not seek to use this trait in a positive or effective manner, it could lead to extreme frustration and disappointment. Contact my office to set up an appointment if you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area.