Debunking the Myth of Masking

Today, we’re not just debunking myths—we’re laying the foundation for a new way of communicating: Conversational Aspergian. Because let’s be honest—there’s a lot of misinformation out there about autism. And these myths don’t just cause confusion; they keep NeuroDiverse and NeuroTypical individuals trapped in frustration, loneliness, and blame. Healing starts with truth. And the truth is, we are all adaptable, resilient, and evolving.

You’ve heard the saying that we’re shaped by our environment, that our behaviors are a product of society’s influence. But what if that’s not the whole story? What if your behavior—whether you’re NeuroDiverse or NeuroTypical—is more deeply wired than you think?

The Science of Behavioral Genetics

The science of behavioral genetics tells us that who we are is 80% DNA and only 20% environment. That’s why identical twins reared apart from birth often grow up with shockingly similar personalities, careers, and habits—even without ever meeting.

Take the case of two identical twin men, separated at birth, reunited as adults. Both became deputy sheriffs, both married women named Betty, both had dogs named Toy, and both unknowingly built the same white circular bench around a backyard tree.

Or consider the twin sisters meeting for the first time at an airport. One arrived late, anxiously asking the gate attendant if her sister had landed yet. The attendant laughed and said, “Do you mean that woman over there with the same hairdo, the same dress, and the same string of pearls as you?”

These aren’t just charming coincidences. They reveal a deep truth about human nature: We don’t just absorb the world around us; we emerge from a biological blueprint that shapes how we think, feel, and interact from birth.

Debunking the Myth of Masking

And this is where today’s myth falls apart: No one “made” Autists mask. Masking isn’t an artificial behavior imposed by NT culture—it’s a natural byproduct of an autistic brain processing social interaction differently from birth.

NeuroTypical children develop Cognitive, Emotional, and Intuitive Empathy (the Empathy part of the Empathy Triad) instinctively. They don’t need to “learn” social interaction—it unfolds naturally. Meanwhile, NeuroDiverse children also observe social behavior—but for them, it’s about pattern recognition, deduction, and rule-following rather than intuitive connection.

The result? By adulthood, many Autists mistakenly believe that all human behavior is masking. They assume that NTs are just better at it. But this isn’t true—NTs are engaged in an entirely different process.

The Path to Healing and Radiant Empathy

So where do we go from here?

By debunking myths like these, we take the first critical step toward Conversational Aspergian. In order to truly connect—to speak each other’s language and rise to the level of Radiant Empathy—we must first challenge the misunderstandings that prevent genuine communication.

These myths create barriers between NeuroDiverse and NeuroTypical partners, keeping them trapped in patterns of frustration and isolation. Remember, empathy is more than words—it’s a journey, a dynamic state of being.