The True Meaning of Christmas: Forgive Yourself Your Worst Mistake and Share Your Love

Christmas movies help NTs move on and up.

You might wonder what Christmas movies have to do with resolving the problems in NeuroDivergent relationships. I reveal this secret in this podcast and recorded blog by discussing the very important seventh step of the 7-Step Interface Protocol.

The secret? It starts with forgiving yourself your worst mistake. But first, you have to discover what that mistake might be. Of course you have made many mistakes in life. Mistakes are what help us grow into more mature, wise and loving people. But the big mistakes might be tougher to recognize and apologize for — especially if you are a Super Hero like me!

As I chatted with a friend about our favorite Christmas movies, I had an epiphany about the tragic mistake I had made with my entire family, both the NeuroDiverse and NeuroTypical loved ones.

Most Christmas movies have the same trajectory. The hero or heroine struggles with their life in some way. They are angry, or hurt, or confused and just want to accomplish something to make them feel better. Whether it’s a comedy or a drama or a musical, the story is always the same. The main character learns that the meaning of Christmas is just to be there for others in only the way you can. You are the gift.

In other words life is about loving others and reducing your expectations that they love you back, or even understand you. Be the gift of you without any strings.

My tragic mistake was expecting my loved ones to be like me.

By most any standard I am a super hero. I have achieved a lot in this life and have many accomplishments to show for it. However, I have been stumped for years as to why my NeuroDiverse family members have been so hostile toward me — so hostile in fact that my daughters have estranged themselves.

But after my discussion with Phyllis about our favorite Christmas movies, I realized that I had made a huge and tragic mistake with my loved ones. I worked so hard for them, and accomplished so much in the process, that they felt they couldn’t measure up. Worse, I encouraged them to follow me, as if that were possible. Instead of being supportive of who they are and loving them regardless of their accomplishments, I urged them to come into my reality and become super heroes too.

Forgive yourself your worst mistakes.

Sometimes your worst mistake is hiding in plain sight, as it was for me. But once you know what it is, you can make a course correction. Even if my sweet daughters never forgive me for having unreasonable expectations of them, I have forgiven myself. Gosh, this makes it so much easier to do other marvelous things with my life — and move toward Radiant Empathy Angel status.

I hope you watch this video and contemplate how to forgive yourself too. Don’t worry if you step away from your loved ones from time to time. Let them find their own way. Besides you have dreams to follow and you can’t do it if you have unwilling partners.