This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.
Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Don’t Let Gaslighting Trap You
Tuesday, October 22nd at 11:00 am – 12:00 pm Pacific
Why is it that the NT automatically reacts to “Aspie” gaslighting? Why don’t we just turn and walk away? But we don’t. Instead we engage and then the argument turns angry, outrageous and even vicious.
Gaslighting is the phenomenon where your mind is attacked by your partner. They try to convince you that you didn’t say what you said; or that your observations are way out of line; or that everyone else thinks you’re nuts; or . . . Like brainwashing, Gaslighting turns the victim into a helpless dish of mush, if you don’t escape.
There are lots of reasons we allow gaslighting in our ASD/NT relationships. First, we love our “Aspie” so we give them the benefit of the doubt. Second, we hang out way too long in the territory of suspending our disbelief (more about this at the conference). Third, it’s in our nature to clear up misunderstandings and work toward a win-win solution.
None of the above works though — because you need a partner with empathy, not one with EmD-0, and/or heading toward a melt-down.
As I often say, it’s time to take back your life and one of the first steps to doing so, is to stop engaging when your spouse starts to gaslight you. In this conference, we’ll discuss methods to stay strong.
All event times are posted in Pacific time.