Category: Events

This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Why do they always forget?

Tuesday, February 4th at 10:00 am Pacific Time

Anyone who lives with an adult with High Functioning Autism knows how aggravating it is that our “ASD” loved one cannot seem to remember anything we ask of them. From picking up groceries, to picking up the kids. From knowing our favorite restaurant, to remembering the name of the soccer coach. “Aspies” do not remember the small and large things that are important to us. And that makes us feel unloved and unappreciated.

This forgetfulness is often mistaken for ADHD, but stimulant medication doesn’t really help. Neither does our constant reminders. Our pleas for consideration go unheard. Eventually we fall silent and give up, or get angry and bitter. But there is another way to deal with this forgetfulness. It requires detachment — detachment from our desire that they are motivated to do things out of love and respect for us.

Shocking as it may seem, “Aspies” are not motivated to do anything that is not in their best interest. Most will readily admit this. They may love you and want the best for you, but it never occurs to them to think about you when you are not around. Thus — they do not remember what we ask of them.

The video conference is vital if you are going to save your mind from thoughtless “Aspie” behavior. Please come prepared for a private conversation with others who share this concern.

Make sure you have a private place to talk, without interruption.  I will send you reminders of this Zoom conference, but if you don’t have your email set to receive the reminders, you may not notice. I would hate to have you miss the call, so make sure you’re able to get my messages.

A free International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This Teleconference is only for members of Meetup. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: TELECONFERENCE: January Clean Up with Dr. Kathy’s 5 Tips

Friday, January 31st at 10:00 am Pacific Time

Time for goal setting for the new year. Now that you made it through the holiday stress with “Aspies” and you have a glimmer of hope that somethings will be different, let’s develop a plan for the New Year.

First we need to clean up your old thinking. Start the New Year with a plan to take care of you, not your “Aspie.” I know it’s tough to focus on you — and you will be dragged off course by the “Aspie” agenda — but we need to build a plan that is stalwart. A strong plan means you will be able to say, “No, I can’t help you right now; I have yoga class. See ya!”

At this teleconference I will give you five tips for making the plan, sticking to it, and come out smiling — most of the time.

Come prepared for the call with a private place to listen and join in if you can.

This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Ashamed?

Wednesday, January 29th at 1:00 pm Pacific Time

Feelings of shame are more complicated than feeling aggravated (the topic for the first January video conferences). Aggravation is honest anger with someone who keeps getting in your way. Shame on the other hand is a kind of codependence where you mistakenly take on responsibility for your “Aspie’s” misconduct.

For example, if your “Aspie” cannot remember your neighbor’s name, no matter how many times you remind him/her, is that really your fault? And is it your responsibility to help your neighbor understand why your “Aspie” is clueless? Not really.

So why do we feel ashamed? It’s because we see ourselves in relationship to others. It is the relationship that is vital to our happiness and self esteem. When our “Aspie” disrupts this happiness with their thoughtless or clueless behavior, we innately worry that the relationships will be harmed. Even the ones with our neighbors. And we take responsibility for this harm — because somebody has to.

In this video conference let’s talk about how to stop the shame dead in it’s tracks, and walk away from codependency.

Make sure you have a private place to talk, without interruption.  I will send you reminders of this Zoom conference, but if you don’t have your email set to receive the reminders, you may not notice. I would hate to have you miss the call, so make sure you’re able to get my messages.

This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Ashamed?

Thursday, January 23rd at 3:00 pm Pacific Time

Feelings of shame are more complicated than feeling aggravated (the topic for the first January video conferences). Aggravation is honest anger with someone who keeps getting in your way. Shame on the other hand is a kind of codependence where you mistakenly take on responsibility for your “Aspie’s” misconduct.

For example, if your “Aspie” cannot remember your neighbor’s name, no matter how many times you remind him/her, is that really your fault? And is it your responsibility to help your neighbor understand why your “Aspie” is clueless? Not really.

So why do we feel ashamed? It’s because we see ourselves in relationship to others. It is the relationship that is vital to our happiness and self esteem. When our “Aspie” disrupts this happiness with their thoughtless or clueless behavior, we innately worry that the relationships will be harmed. Even the ones with our neighbors. And we take responsibility for this harm — because somebody has to.

In this video conference let’s talk about how to stop the shame dead in it’s tracks, and walk away from codependency.

Make sure you have a private place to talk, without interruption.  I will send you reminders of this Zoom conference, but if you don’t have your email set to receive the reminders, you may not notice. I would hate to have you miss the call, so make sure you’re able to get my messages.

This Video Conference is limited to twelve people, and is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: VIDEO CONFERENCE: Ashamed?

Tuesday, January 21st at 10:00 am Pacific Time

Feelings of shame are more complicated than feeling aggravated (the topic for the first January video conferences). Aggravation is honest anger with someone who keeps getting in your way. Shame on the other hand is a kind of codependence where you mistakenly take on responsibility for your “Aspie’s” misconduct.

For example, if your “Aspie” cannot remember your neighbor’s name, no matter how many times you remind him/her, is that really your fault? And is it your responsibility to help your neighbor understand why your “Aspie” is clueless? Not really.

So why do we feel ashamed? It’s because we see ourselves in relationship to others. It is the relationship that is vital to our happiness and self esteem. When our “Aspie” disrupts this happiness with their thoughtless or clueless behavior, we innately worry that the relationships will be harmed. Even the ones with our neighbors. And we take responsibility for this harm — because somebody has to.

In this video conference let’s talk about how to stop the shame dead in it’s tracks, and walk away from codependency.

Make sure you have a private place to talk, without interruption.  I will send you reminders of this Zoom conference, but if you don’t have your email set to receive the reminders, you may not notice. I would hate to have you miss the call, so make sure you’re able to get my messages.

This Teleconference is only for Members of the private membership group, ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum. Click here for membership details and to register for this call.

Topic: TELECONFERENCE: Will Girls Scouts (or Boy Scouts) help our children in Neuro-diverse families?

Thursday, January 16th at 1:30 pm Pacific Time

Half of America’s women leaders — in any field — were Girl Scouts, according to Sylvia Acevedo, CEO of the Girl Scouts of America. I was startled to hear this fact on a radio interview this morning, with Ms. Acevedo. And it got me to thinking about a question that comes up frequently among our members. That is, they worry about how their children will survive being reared by an “Asperger” parent who lacks empathy.

With Mind Blindness ASD parents frequently make a number of parenting errors that affect our children’s self-esteem and their ability to advocate for themselves later in life. So the fact that Girl Scouts seems to address this issue caught my attention. Could the Girl Scouts (and Boy Scouts) give us a model to help our children in neuro-diverse families? Could these principles help the adults too?

I was a Girl Scout. Were you? I loved it. Could it be that Girl Scouts helped little Kathy make it into college and graduate school, and to eventually found our community for others who live with an adult on the Autism Spectrum?

Of course it is never this simple. There are many factors that lead to why some kids make it and others don’t. At the Teleconference this month, I hope you have other ideas of how to help your children respond to the challenges of having a parent on the Autism Spectrum. Some helicopter parenting is in order, but the bulk of growing up into a healthy adult is up to the child. The goal is to encourage them to find skills to take on the challenges of a neuro-diverse family — and never give up on yourself!

Please come to this teleconference to learn more about this confounding difference. Learn to stop accepting the booby prize in your relationship.

This teleconference is reserved for members of “ASPERGER SYNDROME & RELATIONSHIPS: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum.” Please come prepared to protect your privacy and those on the call. I will send you reminders by email, so it is important to set your email to accept my emails. Otherwise you will miss this important call. Thank you.