Category: Blog Posts

My new book will be available soon! We’re brainstorming different titles that make it clear that the focus of the book is how to care for yourself when you live with a partner that has “Asperger Syndrome.” This type of relationship can be extremely taxing and lonely. Here are a few tips that I recommend that can help you deal with a spouse or child with “AS:”

1. Education
Educating yourself about this form of autism is crucial. It will help you to better understand the disorder and find ways to cope with it rather than resent it. New research and information is constantly coming out, so stay up-to-date.

2. Find local support groups
Finding others who understand and are dealing with a similar situation can prove to be a vital support system. It will provide you with more resources, education, and also comfort.

3. Take time for yourself
It can be very easy to focus all of your attention on your loved one and leave nothing left over for yourself. Be sure to take time to recharge. In order to give to others, you must give back to yourself. Be involved in activities that you enjoy and keep up your other relationships and friendships. You need solace too!

4. Seek professional help
Your loved one may already be meeting with someone regarding their disorder, but you may also need additional support as a loved one. If you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed, contact a health care professional.

 

For more information on my books or to set up an appointment with me, please check my Contact page.

Asperger Syndrome is referred to as a high functioning form of Autism. Asperger Syndrome (AS) is demonstrated by deficits in communication, social skills and reciprocity of feelings. People with AS aren’t as influenced by emotional information which is both good and bad. It can help in decision making when you don’t want to be swayed by emotionality, but it can be a hardship in a relationship when your partner wants you to understand how they feel.

Researchers in Professor Ray Dolan’s group at the Wellcome Trust Centre for Neuroimaging at the University College London have recently spent time studying the types of decision-making skills of those with Autism. I found the results very intriguing. Those with Autism are not as likely to make irrational decisions or be influenced by “a gut feeling”. “People with autism tended to be more consistent in their pattern of choices, their greater attention to detail perhaps helping them avoid being swayed by their emotions,” says Dr Neil Harrison. He continues, “Less reliance on gut instincts by people with autism may underlie their difficulties in social situations, but also enable them to avoid potentially irrelevant emotional information and make more consistent choices.”

I am committed to helping those with Asperger Syndrome and their family members cope with the challenges. My new book on this topic will be released soon. For more information on my book, click on the link.

When family members work together, it often turns into all work and no play. The personal side of the family/business relationship is taken for granted. How can these things be prevented? Remember that if you work in a family firm, most of your interactions with your family involve work. You need to give at least equal time to the personal side to keep communication, trust, love and respect healthy. Here are some tips to help achieve the perfect balance:

1. Take time away from work every day to talk with your family/business partners about something other than work. You might start the morning with coffee and sharing the crossword puzzle.

2. At least quarterly, arrange a retreat for the family firm that involves playing, such as a trip to the mountains to ski.

3. Discuss all problems no matter how small, whether they are work issues or not.

4. Allow for individual differences. Allow members to speak up in disagreement. Just because you are family and work together, does not mean you are all joined at the hip. So make room for new and different opinions and ways of doing things.

5. Hang in there when there is a problem. Don’t give up until you have a solution to the problem that is a winning one for everyone.

6. If things get out of hand, ask for professional help.

For more information about family business, please click on the link.

With the New Year right around the corner, January is a wonderful time to build a foundation for the goals you want to accomplish this year. Many throw themselves into new projects come January 1st, but then find that it is difficult to accomplish them. Here are a few tips to help you gain a better understanding of how to make New Year’s Resolutions that actually stick this year.

1. Let the New Year bring self-acceptance.
If you can appreciate who you are, that each and every day you are making a valuable contribution to your community by just doing your everyday thing (not overachieving), then you will have a much more prosperous new year. You will notice your talents more and strengthen them. You will notice your flaws more too, but you can build a plan to correct them.

2. Change your paradigm.
Instead of focusing on what’s wrong in your life, pay attention to what is right. Accept that you can’t change the past, but you can learn from it. Trust that you have the resources within yourself to make the changes you need and want to make.

3. Self-acceptance turns crisis into opportunity.
If you recognize that life is a complex and problem-filled arena designed to assist you on your quest toward wisdom and maturity (just as it is for everyone else), then when you have a problem you’ll face it squarely with full self-acceptance. You’ll dig in, assess, diagnose and search out the meaning. You will use all the strengths at your disposal to create workable solutions. At the end you’ll be a little smarter, a little wiser, a little stronger, a little saner.

I wish you a Happy New Year!

The winter holidays and the transition to a new year can take worrying to a whole new level. Somehow this time of year brings a mixed blessing even in the best of times. I am confronted with the contradictions in my life such as how to plan for the holidays amid a worsening economy. I alternately look forward to parties and feel guilty for not doing more to help others. I make my gift list at the same time as I wonder if that money should be spent in a more practical way. I want to create a warm and loving holiday celebration for my family, but I worry about what next year will bring to all of us. You have to be careful at this time of year not to get deeply depressed, especially with the current state of affairs in our country and our world. There is just an awful lot to worry about this season.

Today’s crises are no more intense and overwhelming than those humankind has endured for centuries. As a matter of fact do you know what we are celebrating at this time of year? Our year-end holidays celebrate the triumph of the human spirit over adversity. Thanksgiving is the holiday started by our Pilgrim forebears because they made it through their first harsh year in New England. Chanukah commemorates a miracle that occurred in the war torn country of the ancient Jews. Christmas celebrates the incredibly humble birth of a poor child who inspired a new world religion.

In other words these holidays are a reminder that even at the worst of times, if you have faith and hope you will not only come through hardship but you will be better for it.

According to the April 2008 edition of Pediatrics, the annual income of parents with autistic children is 14% less than parents without autistic children. Guillermo Montes, PhD, of the Children’s Institute in Rochester, N.Y and his colleagues write, “The average loss of annual income associated with having a child with autism spectrum disorder was $6,200.” Researchers speculate that part of the reason may be due to the different choices regarding work a parent might have to make. For example, some communities may not have the services available for autism forcing parents to relocate.

As a health care provider in the Pacific Northwest, I am determined to give guidance and direction to parents with autistic children. If you are in need of assistance, please contact my office to set up an appointment.

Here are some additional resources in the Portland/Vancouver area:

http://www.autismsocietyofwa.org/ASWSWC.html

http://www.aspergersnet.org/about.html

http://www.oregonautism.com/index.php?fuseaction=groups.region6