Tag: High Functioning Autism

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This video conference is only for Members of the Meetup group, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD.
Click here for membership details and to register for this call.
Topic: Aspies speak to the topic, not the person
Tuesday, March 19, 2019 at 10:00 AM PDT

VIDEO CONFERENCE: Aspies speak to the topic, not the person. This is a frustrating aspect to our relationships with a loved one who has no empathy. However, I have to say that this simple description seems to resonate with Aspies. They recognize that they acknowledge the content, or topic, or what I call factoids, but are not aware of the person who is speaking. They don’t consider why the person is using the words or the tone or the other innuendos that inevitably go with dynamic conversation. If they can get this, then you might be able to help them understand what’s missing for you . . . namely an acknowledgment that YOU are more important than the topic. They won’t really know why, but they may still honor that it’s important to you. I realize that this is a tough topic, but I believe that knowledge is power. As much as we group members need moral support, we also need strategies. Hopefully you will come away with some strategies from this video conference.

A low cost International Support Group facilitated by Dr. Marshack. This video conference is only for Members of the Meetup group, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD.
Click here for membership details and to register for this call.
Topic: Alone or Lonely
Tuesday, March 12, 2019 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM PDT

VIDEO CONFERENCE: Alone or Lonely. At first I titled this conference “Alone and Lonely” but I don’t think that fits. As NTs we are actually OK with being alone. We get time to think, take care of ourselves, rest, create, etc. But it’s the loneliness that is compelling isn’t it? NTs like to balance alone time with people time. Even at a party, we might step outside for a minute to get some fresh air. Or maybe we take a few extra minutes in the bathroom. These are moments to re-center our energies. Other times we rebalance ourselves with a long walk, or playing with the dog (because dogs are not draining like people can be). But we inevitably need our people time too or we get glum. People time is important because with an empathic reciprocal interaction with others, we come to know ourselves better. With our Aspies we are always alone, even when they are in the same room with us. This creates loneliness because we can’t do anything about it, like we can with other people. They don’t have empathy so they don’t look into our eyes and see us. Thus we remain too long in a period of “aloneliness.” This quote from Hugh Jackman (to his wife) explains what it means to be loved and not lonely. “I believe in life we need to see and truly be seen by the most important people in our lives. Deb, from day one, we had that. 22 years later. . . it only gets deeper. You and the kids are the greatest gift I will ever receive. I love you a gazillion times around the world.”