When Empathy Fails

When Empathy Fails
When Empathy Fails

When Empathy Fails:
How to Stop Those Hell-Bent on Destroying You

by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.

Available at Amazon.com:
Kindle $9.99
Paperback $28.95

 

Have you ever…

  • Felt victimized, been swindled or lied to by your best friend;
  • Loaned money to loved ones who squandered the gift and never paid you back;
  • Had to fight unscrupulous prosecutors for your freedom;
  • Been forced to defend yourself from your vengeful ex or your ungrateful children;
  • Bumped into a beguiling, but shifty, stranger?

If so, you’ve crossed paths with someone operating with Empathy Dysfunction (EmD). In this book, psychologist, Dr. Kathy Marshack, helps you not only understand why this is happening, but how to protect yourself from those hell-bent on destroying you.

Narcissists, sociopaths, addicts, brain injured, autistics, a vengeful ex, corrupt city officials and greedy neighbors. What do these people have in common?

According to Licensed Psychologist, Dr. Kathy Marshack, they all lack empathy. She ought to know. She endured a 12-year perfect storm of divorce, lawsuits, assaults, cyberstalking, false arrests, predatory prosecution, and the loss of her children to parental alienation. Throughout all these experiences she noticed there was a common theme, namely people with Empathy Dysfunction (EmD).

Dr. Kathy Marshack does more than share her unbelievable true story, she shares:

  • Hard-learned lessons on how to stand up for yourself when dealing with people who could literally care less about you.
  • A way to identify those with a dysfunctional lack of empathy using the new Empathy Dysfunction Scale (EmD Scale), so you can shield yourself from the destruction they leave in their wake.
  • Clues you should never ignore for your own safety – like a rotten neighbor, friends who start believing the nasty gossip spread by your ex-partner, or a nagging feeling you’re being watched. Pay attention, it may be because “they” really are out to get you.

Warrior training to protect yourself from dangerous people. If you’ve been hurt just once, or maybe too many times to count, by a person with EmD, apply the warrior training in this book, increase your own empathy to a higher level, and reclaim the beautiful life you are meant to live.


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In praise of When Empathy Fails

“This account of psychologist Marshack’s (Entrepreneurial Couples, 2017, etc.) traumatic trials and tribulations will likely elicit great empathy for the author herself. In a personal narrative that’s troubling but often engaging, she documents the fallout from her divorce, her challenging relationship with her daughters (one is autistic and the other suffers from the effects of a brain injury), and her arduous, toxic legal battle with neighbors over property rights. It’s almost unimaginable what the author goes through, and following her journey from chapter to chapter could leave one emotionally spent. Her negative experiences led her to consider why some people have empathy and others do not; her reflection resulted in the “Empathy Dysfunction Scale (EmD Scale),” which she says can help readers “identify the kind of people you’re dealing with in your life.” Overall, though, the book largely concentrates, almost to a fault, on the injustices that the author says that she suffered during a very ugly dispute  with authorities and neighbors over residential land use. Indeed, the extent to which the book describes the case–with accompanying reprinted emails and property drawings–is extraordinary, and its tone sometimes feels almost vindictive. However, the book is engaging when it addresses Marshack’s five levels of “EmDs.” The second chapter does a particularly good job of describing each one of these, ranging from EmD-0 (“having zero degrees of empathy but not intending harm”) to EmD-5 (“epitomizing empathy”). By the end of the author’s sad but engaging tale, the EmD levels do resonate, and the implications of empathy dysfunction become clear.” — Kirkus Reviews


Here’s a review from the US-Observer Magazine:

When Empathy Fails, Empower Yourself!

Kathy Marshack's latest book When Empathy Fails

The US~Observer is proud to announce the release of Dr. Kathy Marshack’s latest book, When Empathy Fails: How to stop those hell-bent on destroying you.

People get along when they empathize with one another. However, there are those in our society who operate without empathy. They are the people who victimize others; who lie, and cheat, and steal. They are the one’s who take without regard, and live as if they are the end all.

Kathy Marshack, Ph.D. knows first-hand the power these types of individuals can have in our lives, and in When Empathy Fails she tells her unbelievable true story. Marshack also shares hard-learned lessons on how you can protect yourself from people who literally care less about you. Furthermore, she introduces the Empathy Dysfunction (EmD) Scale, to help you identify people who have a dysfunctional lack of empathy so you can shield yourself from the destruction they leave in their wake.

It takes more than courage to stop unscrupulous people in their tracks; the ultimate protection is to increase your own empathy. If you’ve been hurt just once, or maybe too many times to count, by a person with EmD, apply the warrior training offered in Marshack’s book and reclaim the beautiful life you are meant to live.

Out of Mind—Out of Sight

Out of Mind—Out of Sight
Out of Mind—Out of Sight

Out of Mind—Out of Sight:
Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD)

by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.

Available at Amazon.com:
Kindle $9.99
Paperback $19.95

Out of Mind – Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD), takes an honest look at the unique issues that come up when you’re co-parenting with an Asperger partner. It’s a tough assignment because for the Aspie (ASD) parent so many of the interactions within the family circle, that require empathy, are literally out of mind – out of sight. This is essential reading for the Neuro-Typical (NT) parent to learn more about Asperger Syndrome and find a way to co-parent, co-exist and even thrive within the Asperger/NT family unit. Author Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D, is a licensed psychologist with more than 33 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist, and a parent of a daughter with AS. This book is a follow-up to her first book to explore Asperger relationships, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship, which garnered worldwide attention due to its unforgivingly realistic portrayal of loving someone with Asperger’s. Once again, in this new book readers will find it is not a quirky, upbeat human-interest story on Asperger Syndrome. Instead, Dr. Marshack doesn’t pull back from revealing the harsh realities that a Neuro-Typical (NT) faces in parenting with someone who doesn’t fully understand them or their children. However, she also provides hope and practical solutions on how to co-parent more successfully. How is an NT parent supposed to share the multi-dimensional work of parenting with a spouse who has no concept of the empathic glue that holds the parent/child relationship (and the parent/parent relationship) together? There are no shortcuts and no easy answers, but the question is explored in all its multi-faceted complexities. In the first part of the book, Dr. Marshack introduces
 the reader to the daily life of AS/NT co-parenting. There is no analysis, just raw emotional experiences that will resonate with readers who are living this life. Next, readers will be compelled to shed some of their preconceived notions
 as Dr. Marshack explains the science behind these troubling relationship as well as state of the art theories on Asperger Syndrome (ASD). At the end of the book Dr. Marshack provides specific techniques to help readers implement the changes they want and need to make to revive their marriage and their parenting as well as reclaim their personal freedom.


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In praise of Out of Mind—Out of Sight

I just finished reading “Going Over the Edge?” and “Out of Mind—Out of Sight.”  I am an NT child/parent Hapa Aspie.  I identify with your character Helen and her family.  The short way to express what I’m feeling is that this is the first time ever in my 45 years of life that I don’t feel alone anymore!!!  My body has been shaking for the past few days and my mind will not settle because I have finally found myself.  Your willingness and courage to expose the details of your life and those of others has provided such a gift of insight and the beginning process of healing in my life.”

A guidebook offering new insights and practical advice for dealing effectively with a spouse or child diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. Asperger’s is one of many disorders on the autism spectrum that impairs social skills. Marshack (Going Over the Edge?, 2009) brings decades of experience as a psychologist, family therapist, and wife and mother of an Asperger’s-affected spouse and children to this revealing look at a commonly misunderstood disorder. In Part 1, she discusses common behaviors of people suffering from Asperger’s and of “neurotypical” family members who are not impaired but trying to cope. She offers a poignant account of her own bewildering experience raising her eldest daughter, whose Asperger’s presented itself well before the diagnosis was generally understood by the medical community. Readers will empathize with the author’s “helicopter mom” behavior with her socially impaired child and will feel her pain as she’s ultimately forced to let her daughter go. In Part 2, Marshack reveals the condition as essentially an empathy disorder and discusses the works of experts such as Simon Baron-Cohen (who studied neuroscience and empathy disorders), Adam Smith (who advanced the Empathy Imbalance Hypothesis) and Peter Vermuelen (who examined the concept of “context blindness”). She also introduces the idea of “Rules of Engagement,” which sufferers can use as a way to relate to people without feeling true empathy. Parts 3 and 4 offer additional insights into the lives of neurotypicals, who often feel invisible and ignored, and elaborate on coping strategies introduced in earlier chapters. The author mercifully keeps the clinical jargon to a minimum, and the prose is cogent and well-organized throughout. At the end, she provides links to online support groups, websites, phone numbers and other helpful resources. Her personal accounts of her family life and clinical practice should resonate with readers seeking to understand Asperger’s and may help to assure them that they are not alone. A useful, enlightening guide to understanding and coping with Asperger’s syndrome.” — Kirkus Reviews

Entrepreneurial Couples

Entrepreneurial Couples
Entrepreneurial Couples

Entrepreneurial Couples:
Making It Work at Work and at Home

by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.

Available at Amazon.com:
Kindle $9.99
Paperback $24.95
Hard Cover $29.98

“Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home” has been updated for today’s couples. Caught in the squeeze of trying to maintain two careers in today’s tough corporate climate, more and more couples are giving up their jobs in order to start their own businesses.

Whether they work together in a business or are each owners of a separate enterprise, these entrepreneurial couples face a daunting task–balancing the competing demands of love and work. “The couple bond is a significant element in the success of entrepreneurial businesses,” says psychologist and business consultant Kathy Marshack in Entrepreneurial Couples. “Not only do these partners negotiate with each other for love, sex, status, and support, but they also depend on the relationship for their own self-definition.” 

Marshack examines the traps these couples can fall into and offers practical advice for dealing with them. For example, entrepreneurial couples with a full family life have greater potential for communication breakdown and interpersonal problems than do other couples. They often fail to confront issues head on, instead relying on compromise and other avoidance techniques to ward off conflict. “Decisions arrived at through compromise usually lack creativity and seldom last,” says the author. “It may be fine to compromise about choosing a restaurant for dinner, but compromising about your business can sabotage your competitive edge.” Trying to keep family and business issues separate is just not realistic, according to Marshack.

To be successful as an entrepreneurial couple requires planning a life–a life that includes your personal and relationship goals as well as your career and business goals. Entrepreneurial Couples shows how to assess each area of your life and offers tips and twelve different exercises for brainstorming, creating contingency plans, achieving flexibility, and developing a successful life and business plan with your partner.


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In praise of Entrepreneurial Couples

A thoughtful book analyzes the types and styles of couple in business together.”Family Business, June-August 1998

By emphasizing private and professional life equally, … offers not only guidance, but also a recipe for success, domestically and professionally.” — Midwest Book Review, September 1998

Provides tools to wield. Valuable insights.” — Booklist, May 1, 1998

“Entrepreneurial Couples helps the reader understand why problems arise as couples work together and provides useful guidelines for solving them. This book is a must read for any couple who are in business together.”— W. Gibb Dyer, Jr., Ph.D., O. Leslie Stone Professor Entrepreneurship, Marriott School of Management, Brigham Young University

“We wish we had had this information thirty years ago when we started our business! We enjoyed the case histories of the people in the book and identified with many of the situations they faced.”— Tom and Linda Denchel, co-owners, Tom Denchel Ford Country

“This is one of the first books to tackle the increasingly relevant theme of entrepreneurial couples. All working couples can find something useful in this book to improve the quality of their relationships and increase their productivity in the workplace.” — Kjell Rudestam, Ph.D., Associate Dean, The Fielding Institute

“We found Entrepreneurial Couples insightful and encouraging as we celebrated the first anniversary of our decision to turn passion to purpose by becoming the owner, manager, marketing director, and primary staff of our own business.” — Jon and Kathy Kolstad, Personal Trust Service

Going Over the Edge

Going Over the Edge
Going Over the Edge

Going Over the Edge:
Life With a Partner or Spouse With Asperger Syndrome

by Kathy Marshack Ph.D.

Available at Amazon.com:
Paperback $21.95

Information on how to have a successful relationship with your autistic spouse! Delve into the dramatic impact autism spectrum disorder can have on the complex world of adult interpersonal relationships. In Life With a Partner or Spouse With Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship, psychologist Kathy Marshack shares poignant true stories based on her own life and the lives of her clients, focusing on how partners/spouses of someone with ASD can find true meaning and happiness. The author discusses sensitive issues and shows readers how to take control of their lives, avoid or grow away from dysfunctional behavior and dysfunctional relationships, and create a successful relationship with their spouse on the spectrum. Each chapter closes with a series of Lessons Learned that recap the main points of the chapter and offer new ways to look at these very unique challenges. Foreword by Stephen Shore, EdD.


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In praise of Going Over The Edge

Going over the Edge? is a powerful illustration of the complexities of intimate relationships between individuals with autism spectrum disorders and their neurotypical partners. Dr. Marshack brings great clarity to the dynamic influences that shape these relationships … for better or for worse. She has brought stature to a voice from the autism community that has been waiting to be heard. Many family members and partners will appreciate the cathartic nature of her work, and professionals will find a depth of insight and feeling that is rarely articulated so well. Pay attention to every word of this book. There is nothing else like it!”— Sherry A. Moyer, B.S., Asperger Syndrome consultant, NHS Human Services, Pennsylvania

With vivid examples drawn from years of professional practice and life experience, Dr. Marshack expertly guides the reader towards success in marriage when Asperger Syndrome is present. Full of practical tips, the major lesson learned from this book is that learning to interface between the different ‘operating systems’ of spectrum and non- spectrum partners leads to better communication with greater mutual understanding and satisfaction. Highly rec- ommended to all seeking to learn more about Asperger Syndrome and long-term relationships.” — Yi Liu Shore

60 Things To Do When You Turn 60

60 Things To Do When You Turn 60
60 Things To Do When You Turn 60

60 Things To Do When You Turn 60

by Kathy Marshack and other inspirational authors. Edited by Ronnie Sellers.

Available at Amazon.com:
Paperback $15.25
Kindle $8.49

Dr. Marshack contributed to this collection of 60 sixty essays with, “Go Directly to Jail.” Find out how humility and an unwelcome event can change everything.

Thanks to the generosity of the contributing authors, all of whom provided essays on a pro-bono basis, the royalties generated from the sale of this book will be donated to non-profit organizations dedicated to preventing and curing cancer.

Approximately 10,000 baby boomers turn 60 every day. Thats approximately 3.5 million people a year who will be celebrating this event in North America. We have the perfect gift of reading for the 60-somethings in your life. 60 Things To Do When You Turn 60 is a thoughtful, humorous, and sometimes provoking collection of essays written by people from all walks of life on the subject of turning 60.