Only You Can Know Your Duty: The Radiant Empathy Foundation

Some people call me litigious. I don’t see myself that way. I see myself as someone who knows how to stand up for myself.

Right now, I’m preparing for mediation with my neighbors over contaminated water that has made me sick and harmed my dog. The water doesn’t look unsafe — and that’s the problem. When harm is invisible, people deny it. They dismiss your reality. And when you keep fighting, they call you angry, difficult, or litigious.

That denial is deeply familiar to me as a psychologist who works with NeuroDivergent couples. Whether NeuroTypical or NeuroDiverse, many of them live with trauma that is invisible. The outside world doesn’t see it. And when they finally speak up, people often turn away.

Just today, a client of mine shared her despair after a lifetime of feeling invisible. She told me she wished she had never existed. And yet, she has been shining a light for others through her work, even if she can’t see it herself.

This is the core of Radiant Empathy: to know who you are, to recognize your light, and to keep shining even when others don’t acknowledge it. Maybe only one person out of a multitude will see your shine — but your light still matters.

We who survive NeuroDivergent relationships are like a thousand points of light in the dark.

Years ago, I had a dream: I was on stage, with backup singers and an orchestra, and the music reminded me of “We Are the World.” But the words were different: “Only you can know your duty. Only you. No one else.”

That dream still speaks to me. My duty is to hold my truth, to carry the light, to help others see theirs.

And now, that dream is taking form in a new way. We are creating The Radiant Empathy Foundation. It is still just beginning, but I have asked a wonderful woman named Rikki to serve as Director, and together we are building a space where survivors, advocates, and professionals can connect and carry the mission of Radiant Empathy into the world.

Because this light we hold is not just for ourselves. It is for the world.